Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

Embracing Milestone Birthdays: Turning 30 and Celebrating Personal Growth

• The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo • Episode 73

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Are you feeling the pressure and anxiety that comes with milestone birthdays like the big three-oh? Trust us, you're not alone! That's why we've dedicated this week's episode to exploring the importance of looking forward to these milestones, the nostalgia of leaving your twenties, and the societal pressures to achieve certain things by the time you turn thirty. Join us as we share our own experiences and discuss the cultural significance of celebrating birthdays. By the end, you'll be pumped up and ready to celebrate your milestone birthday with enthusiasm!

We don't stop there, though. We dive into the biblical idea of the thirtieth birthday as a time of breakthrough and personal power, and how wisdom is the real treasure that grows with age. Let's talk about the mindset that's truly essential for living our best lives and how society tends to overlook the value of wisdom. Facing the challenges of finding a partner after turning thirty? We've got you covered! We also touch on embracing the single life and starting your travel adventures to broaden your horizons. So, tune in and let's celebrate our milestone birthdays together with newfound excitement!

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

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Speaker 1:

My own birthday.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's the twenties, the thirtieth, the fortieth. I mean, why are these birthdays

Speaker 1:

so why they cause so much anxiety and dread in certain cases.

Speaker 2:

In certain cases, they do.

Speaker 1:

By the end of this episode, we want you to actually be looking forwards to your milestone birthday.

Speaker 2:

Be feeling having that feeling of excitement towards him. So listen to get real with their enewsisters.

Speaker 1:

This week, Hello, everyone.

Speaker 2:

Hello, everyone. So here we are today. Yeah. Today, we're gonna be actually talking about milestone milestone birthday.

Speaker 1:

My daughter Turn thirty. Yeah. And she was actually expressing all her concerns about it. She was. Yeah. Because it's a it's a big deal.

Speaker 2:

It is a big deal. And I think every single person in today's world has that feeling. And not just in today's world, I think in even in the past, yeah, I mean, it was seen as a big milestone, wasn't it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's always been seen like that.

Speaker 1:

It has it it's I think it's because it's the big the big three o's or whatever. Yeah. The the zero. The zero. It's like a countdown.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You're right. Yeah. It's a zeros. It's goodness me. What is it? Yes. Definitely. All of that that that causes that kind of pressure.

Speaker 1:

I'm just because it's the end of a decade. I remember the first birthday when you turn twenty, it's has still been nostalgia for bad.

Speaker 2:

I do remember I do remember thinking, hey, the teens.

Speaker 1:

The teens? Okay. Because, I mean, I was only really annoyed from sixteen to eighteen. So I didn't know how to go about that.

Speaker 2:

No. The rest of it wasn't that great. It wasn't that

Speaker 1:

good. I'm staying older. But in the UK, we have this thing that the the twenty first birthday especially when we were the age. It was a big deal. So it was a big deal. Had to kind of look forwards to that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Where is where is Nowadays, I don't know if it's in the beginning of the twenty first. And you know Sure. Yeah. So you you you went to your twenties in course, you're young and five year brand.

Speaker 2:

And the world is like you're always there and there seems to be this great fascination with with young young people. Yeah. That, I mean, that's true with young people. There we

Speaker 1:

Everyone to fascinated by them. I know. There's this kind of discrimination I think against the older you get as well. You haven't achieved a certain thing. There's a kind of expectation. Whereas when you're in your twenties, it's just like, oh, party.

Speaker 2:

Oh, living the breeze. You know, our mom was Spanish used to say, and, you know, that that means that used is is a is a is a divine treasure. And where she used to say that, I didn't really used to understand it much, but she would always say that. Every you know, whenever we would say, mom, we're going out. She would say, oh, when talk to me not to talk or, you know. Yeah. As if as if it was a regret. To almost, you know, as if this Tezoro was no longer part of her life.

Speaker 1:

I think.

Speaker 2:

In a way, I felt that. Yeah. Nice to think, but

Speaker 1:

She didn't ask to enjoy ourselves if she's lost.

Speaker 2:

Which was lovely, but I used to think, oh, it's only like the hovering tool part, the use. So then when what happens with this treasure, this tesoro afterwards? I used to think that it's just like hint of nostalgia

Speaker 1:

when she would say that. Yeah. So Well, I don't think she had a hint of a nostalgia. But I don't think she used to think about it much, but we used to see that she didn't used to she didn't used to have that much money in her life. So I mean, she was always laughing and really joyful, but she would refer to us like when when we looked pretty, so we'd got dressed up, like, because if she couldn't. Yeah. That's what I meant.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. We did not start

Speaker 1:

a job like that. So it was more, I think, for her, it was more about appearance.

Speaker 2:

Right. And

Speaker 1:

also about, you know, being able to sort of dance a night away as well.

Speaker 2:

And have fine and not have any aches and pains. And if

Speaker 1:

they not have any think about things that, like, are the big problems, I think, also -- Yeah. -- big problems have the more

Speaker 2:

age and stuff there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. How else?

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Where were those? Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think that when you turn

Speaker 2:

They're twenty

Speaker 1:

and most people unless you're really, you know, with it. Most people don't really have to think that much about. It's all towards the end of your twenty twenty. To start thinking about it more, but But in your early twenties, really, it's about is she studying or your first job?

Speaker 2:

Just coming out of having being a teenager. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You're just just kind of enjoying your life and not really thinking. And I think when you are that age, you kind of think that life is like It turn almost that night you've got so much time. And then when the thirties come, you know, when that big milestone comes, you say anything

Speaker 2:

It's a bit of a wake up call isn't it?

Speaker 1:

Maybe. Yeah. And I haven't done everything. I thought I could have done that.

Speaker 2:

That's the thing. Yeah. That's yeah, the psychologist, Meg Mac j. She was referring to in one of her TED talks. She was actually saying that Turning thirties is a bit like when you're like in your twenties, you're having this lovely game of musical chairs, which is where the music goes on and there are these chairs. And when the music stops, you all choose a chair. But and then if the music starts again in musical chairs. You said, but in the case of when you actually turn thirty, the music just stops and everyone chooses a chair. And that chair is like what they stay with once they're thirty. So it's like if you're in a relationship, the risk is that you might just take that partner one because you're thirty, you know, and just say it's the time it's now to take the chair like symbolically like to settle down and because that's what everyone else is doing. You're looking on Facebook. You can you're getting invited to weddings and all these kind of things and it can cause.

Speaker 1:

So do you think So

Speaker 2:

you gotta be aware

Speaker 1:

of it. If when you're in your twenties, if you've already found your chair, it makes it easier for thirty?

Speaker 2:

I do think it does make it easy for thirty if you found your chair and you love that chair and you're really happy with the chair and and you've kind of found a place to sit on and to settle into. Yes, it does make it easy, but I don't I wouldn't want people to think, you know, that they have to just be happy with that chair. That chair is not really for them. If that's not the right person.

Speaker 1:

Remember that I had the I I had the the well, I would consider the perfect partner who's and my husband and everything, but I still I I still still did think on on I'm gonna be thirty. Oh my gosh. You know, it made me weird. What have I done? What a very dumb thing about my

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, am am I at the right place? Have I done enough? All of this? So I don't I don't know if I think it

Speaker 2:

helps if you have

Speaker 1:

But I didn't have maybe I didn't have the house I wanted.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I know.

Speaker 1:

So I think there's always something It's I mean, the Colby large bed is always using this. It's not gonna be quite perfect for you. No. And if you do take that anxiety on board, it will go with you whereas if you decide to say, hey, it's not perfect and it never will be because life is just not perfect and whatever will come you know, whatever will be will be, and I would be okay with that. I think that's gonna ease a lot of anxiety.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Just accepting that life isn't It's not about what's going on on Facebook or on social media with your friends or the rest of the people around the world that are your age. It's not about it's about your own personal growth. And if you you can only compare yourself to yourself,

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And I think it's more about to talk now and and inster. And and everything else is going on that you think, oh, you know, I'm not I'm not happy knows. What also, let's talk about the birthday, the actual day the press. Yes. Me the press. Having to keep your friend happy. I'm doing something that everyone are in -- Exactly. -- supposed to be your day. But in the end, you're trying to keep all your friends happy and get really anxious over that. So

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And and I think Yeah. You're right. Yeah. What about getting anxious over that?

Speaker 1:

And it's

Speaker 2:

also the point of that

Speaker 1:

is really seeing, you know, do my friends really love me and they're gonna turn out, will they be happy with the birthday that I've chosen for them? I suppose it's a bit like weddings. Wettings are a bit like that as well. These big festivities where you have all these high expectations around them. But really, but impossible to meet. So if you just go with go with a flow in such as something fun to do if you have if you can. And if you can't, you know, just decide to celebrate the birthday on your own. With with your close family or friends.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And just just just say, look, this is me. You know, you are the one that coming into rain. You are. Because I'm I'm saying coming into rain because here, I I'm referring to what I've just red and it says the thirtieth birthday, heralds one adult status with measured indulgence. That's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it? In the bible time, the age of thirtieth is a year of a major breakthrough when some certain individual came into limelight and began begins to rain. Wow.

Speaker 1:

Like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So if you think that you come to your power, So there are these hidden resources within you and and Do you know what that is actually true? I do believe that the more you mature, the more you you begin to become more aware of what

Speaker 1:

I think it's your it's

Speaker 2:

all really

Speaker 1:

fair for my mom used to the more you mature, the more treasure you have with indents, what I was thinking

Speaker 2:

about that. So why is this treasure the use. The treasure of use. Yes. Okay. It could be a body thing like what you said. The healthy body of your healthy and your lucky love can be healthy, obviously. But if you but but what about this treasure? I think the treasure just grows more and more. With each moment that mass is, yeah, it really does grow and

Speaker 1:

it's within your mind with a trillion eyes. And the more the the older you get, the more wisdom, hopefully, you'll acquire. The whiter you'll be, the more, you know, like, But the easier you'll not always because sometimes it can be harder, but, you know, you would hope that the older you get, the wiser you become, and the easier it is for you to, like, handle, like, challenges situations with more experience you've had as well. Not just your own experience, but you can learn from the people around you, from your friends as well, but also stories, your parents -- Yeah. --

Speaker 2:

from the story,

Speaker 1:

from your parents. And it's it's It's a funny thing because I don't know how much society actually treasures wisdom No. And wisdom is the real thing that needs to be treasure.

Speaker 2:

Right. It's see it's a real treasure. The wisdom is the treasure part. It's not the the twenty year old face and

Speaker 1:

-- Okay. --

Speaker 2:

the twenty year old body is the is the wisdom.

Speaker 1:

And a lot of the times as you get older as well, you you accept your body more for what it is and you don't have such high expectations of it. Those people that are struggling with their body. Because the wisdom comes into

Speaker 2:

place and you become more accepting and

Speaker 1:

you realize that your body's there for other reasons. It's not really there just to look beautiful and be like

Speaker 2:

be of service. It's there really to help your mind function properly. And your mind is your mind is your mindset and and your mindset is what really matters in life in all at whatever age you are. It's your mindset. It's gonna get you places. And it's gonna help you overcome the challenges. And

Speaker 1:

I think when you reflect on that, when you she does. Because when I told my daughter this, she said, yeah, I am wise, and she said, I don't feel that different.

Speaker 2:

Really?

Speaker 1:

But then I said, but think about it properly. And she goes, oh, yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes. You do. Don't

Speaker 1:

If you think about a situation now handling how you would handle it now to how you'd handle it. So five years ago, She said yes.

Speaker 2:

She she would. Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1:

So she did take out with her. Yeah. I

Speaker 2:

think most people, yeah, that you do, you can't you can't help, but but learn from certain situations.

Speaker 1:

I think what happens is that, like like, if you say you haven't if you have if you don't feel that you've accomplished everything career wise, maybe in your with your life, with your partner, and your home or whatever. You can start feeling that society just put pressure on you because you're still dating. The date when you suddenly when you turn thirty, that, you know, the available dates, like, on the dating app. So they're just really reduced. Really? And you'll be working if we find it much harder to find a partner, you have to go for maybe older partners that maybe wouldn't have normally paid.

Speaker 2:

That's what yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that's what I was, you know, thinking referring to when you were saying, is it easier if you already do have a chair -- Yeah.

Speaker 1:

--

Speaker 2:

have a your person, somebody that you're happy with. Probably is easier, but I say, you know, Don't let Don't settle go into that thirty with the belief that it is your time to reign. And you will have to power her and just learn to just just say, you know, just I don't care about what's going on with the rest of the world. If I'm single, you know, just enjoy that time. Start traveling. Traveling will open up your world. Honestly, you know, take it for I mean, I used to be an air hostess and I used to see so many different things in the world. And that really did help me mature and and grow as a person. So that's really one piece of advice. If you are single, start traveling. And remember that you know, the more the more kind of windows you open up in your world, the more you you you learn from them. So even if you have like, say for example, you have a cousin who knows somebody. This sounds really really Italian because they're always saying, well, I've got a cousin who knows somebody. But, you know, might you might, you know, say say yes to go out without that person that's slightly different because that person you know, I'm I'm going on a bit rant here about traveling and but what I'm trying to say is that

Speaker 1:

Don't say no to everything.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think if you start like traveling, then you can start opening up your mind and then you can start remembering that sometimes it's a weakest link that'll get you that where you where you least expect it. Like, your weird long lost cousin that may be of a message you or a friend that you haven't seen in ages. And you suddenly say, yeah. Right? Go out for coffee and then you never know where that might take you. It might take you to a new job opportunity. It might take you to meet somebody new in your life. Of course. So I think when you're thirty, you can make these

Speaker 1:

Well, you cannot you've also got the the sensibility to make. Right? Sensible decision, so you're not gonna do anything as precarious or dangerous. No. No. You could do it

Speaker 2:

in between In your twenties. Yeah. It could be

Speaker 1:

a little bit more. You're usually wise. Yes.

Speaker 2:

You are wiser. That's what I mean. You are wiser. You can

Speaker 1:

You can do things that are gonna be safe for you, but I don't know. I think that everything in life is how you look at it. So you can always you can always see a silver lining and everything, and you can always look at life either, you know, from a positive or from from a negative. So if you are thirty and you're looking back on your life and you're saying, hey, I haven't done this this, this, and this, I would have hoped to have done this. You can always say, well, look, I've got this next decade to accomplish all of these things. And being wiser, you'll probably need less time to do it in than you would in your twenties.

Speaker 2:

And then remember that a lot the time, the place where you are right now. That's kind of where you're supposed to be. And it might sound a bit odd, but it but it really is because you still have something to learn from that period in your life. So if you are there, And you're thinking, yeah, why aren't I married? Why don't I have kids? Why don't I have that house or whatever? You're probably not meant to be right there right now. It's I don't wanna call it destiny, but it's just your part in your life's journey is probably not there yet.

Speaker 1:

Where's what you've been doing to get you

Speaker 2:

there? Exactly.

Speaker 1:

So if you you met you know, you weren't ready to go and do it.

Speaker 2:

You weren't ready. And so the big thirty is not gonna make any difference. You can still take your time and enjoy enjoy the moments. All your life.

Speaker 1:

I just find that we're in our fifties. I just find that in every decade that you we've been through, it's always, uh-oh, been scary. Yeah. It's been a milestone birthday. Hardly.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Fourteen fifty. Decade has been amazing in its own way. So I just think take that take that with you and, you know, make make your decade amazing because you are the creator of your own destiny and you can There'll be things that you cannot control because they'll just have

Speaker 2:

That's just life. That's life.

Speaker 1:

But the rest of it, you can.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Your thoughts can change your reality. So do you remember that? And you kind of think about that for a moment. That's gonna that will have a big impact on your life.

Speaker 1:

And you can actually go and enjoy your thirty Yeah. And and Great joy. Your territory.

Speaker 2:

I'm brain because it's your time right now.

Speaker 1:

Your thirties to be enjoyed. I've absolutely

Speaker 2:

have fun

Speaker 1:

have fun and

Speaker 2:

open up your heart open up your heart to more new experiences Yeah. Just really savor it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And savor it. Enjoy it. The parts of you are growing in wisdom.

Speaker 2:

And that's the most important thing.

Speaker 1:

Longer.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Like like a wise oak tree, you know. You you you just finding your roots now and you're settling in and it doesn't matter if you're not stable yet. But you're getting there. You're getting stronger and stronger. That's right. And we're proud of you Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Happy birthday.

Speaker 2:

Happy birthday.

Speaker 1:

Thirty or forty or fifty? Wherever you are at? Oh, sixty or sixty or seventy or eighty or ninety. Hey. Hundred, hopefully. Hopefully. Thank you for listening. Please do come and follow scribe wherever on all platforms or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast and come and say hi on YouTube where you can see the video. Yeah. And you can see us. And please do leave a review on Apple Podcasts by scrolling down and just and hey. You're on Spotify. You can comment now, so you can comment on this So Oh, and we will answer you.

Speaker 2:

We will answer.

Speaker 1:

So thank you so much for listening. Bye.

Speaker 2:

Bye from the English sisters. Bye bye.

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