
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Feeling Anxious? Feel calmer and get much needed anxiety relief. Listen to Mind, Health, Anxiety with The English Sisters the podcast show for mental health that will give you the tools you need to manage your life and your anxiety. Anxiety and overwhelm is on the rise today and most of us experience it in some form or other. The English Sisters, Violeta and Jutka Zuggo are clinical hypnotherapists, business women, authors, wives and mother’s of wonderful grown up children! As hosts of their show they chat about real stuff that empowers, excites and inspires well-being! Always looking to share their point of view and expertise on how you can manage your anxiety and mental health so as to enjoy life! Sharing their experiences to help you live a calmer, happier, fuller and more relaxed life. If you are in need of anxiety relief and want to learn how to manage your mental health, follow Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety so as not to miss an episode! New episode weekly every Wednesday!
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Shaping Life Choices: The Profound Impact of Our Environment
Fuel your curiosity as we explore the profound influence of our environment on self-control and lifestyle. Transform your life by making simple changes to your surroundings and see how the brain, naturally inclined towards pleasure, can be trained for healthier choices. Take a journey with us as we illustrate with practical examples - from the seemingly insignificant act of repositioning unhealthy snacks to the subtle power of choosing your company and your workspace.
Experience the ripple effect of change as we discuss how even minor alterations can significantly impact your work efficiency and relationships. We delve into the nuanced psychology of how our seating arrangements, our view, and even our treat selections can influence our behaviors and attitudes. Join us as we dissect environmental influences and their potential to shape our outlook on life, opening new opportunities and positively impacting our relationships.
We close on an inspiring note, advocating for personal experiments with change. Whether it's immersing yourself in a new city, breaking away from the familiar, or deliberately avoiding certain environments, these changes can be the stepping-stones to achieving goals and fostering a better life. We invite you to challenge yourself with new experiences and share your reflections. And remember, even luxury can take some getting used to! Leave us a review on Apple Podcast and Spotify and help our podcast community grow.
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What has changed in your environment got to do with self-control. Well, it's got quite a lot to do with self-control and making it a lot easier to control what happens to you throughout your day and how you behave, and that's what we're gonna be talking about in Get Real With the English Sisters Today's podcast. Please do take a moment to give us a review, if you like this podcast, because we really do appreciate it and we are growing. We are growing so yay, so yay, thank you, thank you, thank you so much. So changing your environment? I mean, does that mean physically changing your environment? Absolutely, I do believe that is yeah, physically. So like make the change in your try to make your life look like the life that you want. So, in other words, if you want to be an efficient person, for example, and your home desk looks like it's like too much fun because you have your computer with the gaming on there or you have, you know, lots of distractions on your home desk Not a good idea what do you mean? Like your home office? Your home office, yeah, your home, yeah, I'm actually looking at the desk there and I'm thinking like my husband's got too many distractions. He's got all his stamps. He's a mad stamp collector and he's stuffed them all on what is supposed to be the work desk. So when he goes into work and he goes to do the family business, like all the accountancy and everything he gets totally distracted because he's got all his things, that he really wants to do All his hobby on there, really, yeah. So I said, no, you've got to transfer it all upstairs. That's what he was doing. You've probably noticed it looks a bit tidy. Well, I hadn't noticed it really. Well, it has actually. But now that I'm looking there's a lot less. I can see there's less. I mean, he's such an avid collector, so they're always we're always getting new albums coming. So that makes sense because if he hasn't got his hobby on his desk he's much more likely to get on with it. He doesn't get distracted with his phone or something. Of course not. No, you just sit down and you start working, and that can be the same. I mean, in this case it's it's what's it called stamp collecting. But it could be anything. It could be gaming, it could be anything that you know can be a distraction and that would require self-control.
Speaker 1:So what we're saying is why do we have to rely on self-control, that we know that as human beings we're all rather weak when it comes to self-control. We do want to see pleasure, don't we? We do. There is a tendency in our brain to go towards pleasure, I mean to go towards fun. Who can blame us? That's what we're also designed to get as much pleasure as we can, as quickly as we can, because we know that it might not be there. Because we might be.
Speaker 1:It's not always available. That's that's how we were designed. It's not always available. It's like food. It's like anything else yes, I suppose with food as well.
Speaker 1:If you want to, you know, be fit and healthy. Don't have all those cookies in the cupboard or do what I do once again, like I'm actually thinking about it. Now. We've got this fridge in the garage. It's an old fridge but it still works, and so what I do is I put all the little treats in the freezer there, like all the the ice creams and things now that it's summer in the freezer there. So when it's nighttime and we're all really tempted to go towards the sugary treats but you're tired, but you're tired, yeah, especially when it's my husband's tear I say go. He goes is there any ice cream? I go. Yeah, it's in the freezer in the garage. I can't be bothered. So if I put it in the freezer at home, here inside in the kitchen, he would have just gone and got it. That's rather clever.
Speaker 1:On the other half, yes, I didn't really do it intentionally, but it's cause there wasn't enough room in this freezer. I'm sounding so clever now, but it's worked. It's this thing that really has worked. This is funny about doing these episodes and we realise that you do. I mean, it makes you realise how you function as well, how you do in your own life. Yeah, yeah, cause, really, in this, I subconsciously you do that Because you think all the healthy stuff should be in the home freezer, exactly, and all the treats outside.
Speaker 1:I've actually put the yogurt that I've just stuck a spoon in that, the light, good, healthy yoghurt. I've frozen them and I put them in this fridge, in the kitchen, so that they're the first thing where we're just gonna go out, when you can get a frozen yogurt that I know is gonna be a healthy choice and I put all that. Yeah, that's a good idea. You just stick a spoon in it. Yeah, just like metal fruit yoghurt. Yeah, like the ones that are healthy, the healthier kind. Yeah, I just make a little hole and I just stick a spoon in it and then we've got the Might. Try that. Yeah, we've got a frozen.
Speaker 1:Well, you don't like ice cream much, though, but this is like the ice creamy version of it. Today we had an ice cream cake because it was my husband's birthday, and I certainly enjoyed it. You did, did you? Yeah, but you're not like that crazy about it Normally. I don't know, but that's an alternative, isn't it? You can have a yogurt, and it's gonna be a low calorie solution. It's much better and a healthier one anyway. So, yeah, I didn't even realise we were doing that, but I do that. So you can do that with food, definitely With food, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Keep the good stuff available close by in the fridge when you are, and then, obviously, you know all the snacks and things that you don't want to eat. I wouldn't leave them out, like of easily readily available, even at work in people's offices. I've got my brother-in-law in his office desk. He's always moaning about how he wants to lose weight, and then when he opens his drawer, he is packed with candy and biscuits and like unhealthy salted snacks are in there. I've said that too. What do you find? He thinks they're for emergencies, when he can't go? Yeah, but emergencies every day. And he's got a bar, a coffee bar, right next to him, hasn't he that has healthy people, yeah, and his home is like five minutes away. It's not even like when we go into work like we've got the long drive. That is an excuse he might make.
Speaker 1:That is an excuse, but, yeah, but that's not a good idea, isn't it? Because how much self-control do you need not to open that door? I get a lot of self-control when you get peckish and you just put it there. I put those dates in my fridge at work, in the family business. So, at least, if I really want a sugary treat, I've got a date, yeah, which I mean? I mean they're lovely, but you're going to want like two or three of them and that's it. But if I put biscuits in there or something else, I'll probably go for them, yeah, when I'm hungry and I'm getting tired or whatever, and I think I need to pick me up. So definitely, yes, it's a wise. So what other areas can this work in, then?
Speaker 1:Do you think, I think, any area really, that you want to change your life? I think, if you have an idea of what you want your life to look like, then you have to change that environment. So do you? Do you Well, for example, if you don't want to be fighting all the time with somebody, don't go see them. Wow, that's your environment, isn't it? It would make sense yes, it would make sense to maybe to break up that relationship or change it, make it so that your life looks like the way you want it to be. What do you want your life to be like? Do you want it to be chaos? Do you want it to be frenetic, exciting, adventurous, full of lively, enjoyable things, or do you prefer more serenity? You want more calm? Do you want to be more proactive in being healthy? Then make those changes. I'm just thinking that, if you have like, if you, I would just think of our aunt.
Speaker 1:When she used to, her husband always wound her up every time he'd come back from work at lunchtime. He would wind her up because he used to work in the morning and then in the afternoon shift, and he would always wind her up, and every lunchtime he'd make a cry basically oh my God. And then he would kiss and make out and say, no, I love you, I love you. I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, because you lived with her for a while, did he? Would shout at her and say you haven't done this or you haven't done that, and then make her upset. And I used to say can't you just not be there when he comes in so he doesn't see you the first thing he sees you as you in the kitchen. You pretend to be doing something else, just be busy To avoid this initial confrontation.
Speaker 1:When he comes home or worked out because he's obviously worked out because something's happened at work or something he's had a very hard job, he's manual labour, right, and she didn't really, she didn't understand, and she would just do it every day. She would repeat saying it and I'd say, but don't you read us that he does this to you every single day? And then she would say, well, I hadn't really thought of it like that. But yes, but I think that's kind of how she kind of knew what her relationship was like and how she felt kind of comforted by it, the fact that afterwards they would kiss and make up and he would hug her and say how lovely and beautiful she was and amazing, right, so she had secondary benefits for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those games.
Speaker 1:Maybe she wouldn't feel as close to him as if he you know, if she wasn't there for that, he was more passive. She kind of liked that kind of a bit of a tug of war kind of thing going on when, yeah, I think that if that happens to you and your relationships, you can kind of examine is there a part of me that kind of wants that to be to happen? Because if it really isn't and it's all one sided, there is a way of you know, just you breaking away from that pattern quite easily by not being in that environment when it's time for that to happen. Yeah, definitely. I mean, if you know and you love the person, you know your relationship's worth saving and you know the trigger. So that's always going to happen at a certain time and you know they're going to be extra annoyed or ratty because they're really tired or something like what you were saying with them and your leg. But, yeah, maybe it's best if you say I'm off for a shower. I don't know, I don't know what she would do.
Speaker 1:I was so thinking about. You know, children do that as coping mechanisms a lot of times poor little things, when they feel that their parents are going to be ratty or that they go to their rooms and they hide, and yeah, it's really sad, but I mean it's something that we have come to know as a coping mechanism to avoid that. You know, also, to learn how to kind of read the room. What's going on. You know how are people feeling at that moment in time. Yeah well, you change your environment, you go away, you go. That's makes sense. The timeout is like that, isn't it? As well, change your child's environment. I never thought of that actually. Yeah, it's kind of Kind of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you go into a different environmental space where we know there are different spatial anchors, as we call them. Because there are anchors, each space of your home and your environment will trigger something in your mind, some pattern, and it's often in a certain. I remember when we used to be writing our book Violetta, she would tell me, every time I walk into the shower, I get an idea and I would say well, for God's sake, go in that shower more often. You know, go walk into the bathroom, walk in there, even if you already had a shower. Get that idea and that's because in that particular space you probably you were, I don't know. You felt relaxed or whatever, and you were loud, creative, thought it was attached to that. Yeah, it was anchored to that. It was anchored, as we call it, anchored to that space, and that would bring that up, yeah, each space. You'll be surprised if you actually think about it, even in your own home or in your office. Every time you sit on a particular chair, you'll probably feel a certain way, not just because the chair is more comfortable, it's because in that chair you've had certain thoughts or you repeat patterns of behavior over and over again, and sometimes it can be as simple as so.
Speaker 1:If you're in a confrontational relationship with somebody, what about swapping places? Oh, yes, we've done that, we've done that experiment, like in the kitchen table. You know, swapping around, it can be so simple as that. I know it's like it seems like if it wouldn't work, but it does work. It works Because if you've got two family members that are quite confrontational with each other, don't put them opposite each other, put them side by side. Yes, you can't actually see each other. It's like the dog and the cat thing, isn't it? You don't look at them too much, you know, don't stare them out, they're side by side. So for a start, they're in a different kind of a. If you can, you can see if you've got enough room and this. You know it might sound like a joke but it's not really. Actually it really does work. You know it can work as well if you've got a family and you know that you've got two siblings that are going to be fighting.
Speaker 1:You can also try and change your place and say, oh hey, why don't you try sitting here for today, come on. Or you place them out there, like if they're little. You know, just change there. I used to put my two kids side by side as well. It was only like years later when they said did you? I don't, why do I always want to sit here, mama, I go, that's because that's where I decided you would sit when you were little and I put you side by side so there'd be no fighting and you wouldn't look in each other's faces, because they were very. They were very. They only had one year difference, but I thought they might throw food at each other or something. So I put them side by side and me and their father in front of them also, so that we could help feed them. Yeah, because there was two little ones. But it's just funny that now they've said that's why they sit there. They kind of had that realization, but it certainly does happen.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't really like changing places in the kitchen. No, we are, we don't, we're creatures of habit, we're like musical chairs. They always say, yeah. Our husbands always say that when we go somewhere we have to change seats like we do. Yeah, we go to a restroom, we're always looking for the best of you.
Speaker 1:Recently, on a triple way, my husband teased me because the waitress came up and he sat where. He knew that I wanted to sit on purpose, because I like to see the view. And he sat there on purpose and I didn't say anything and I just sat down. And then he said aren't you going to say anything about where you, that I'm sitting, where you want to be sitting? I said no and he said did he let you sit where you wanted to? In the end? No, in the end I said I'm fine here. Actually you were trying to be. I was fine. No, it was just funny that he even noticed it. I suppose after all these years, after all these years, yes, he did, he's become aware of it. He was like winding me up on purpose.
Speaker 1:The cheeky yeah, because he's come to realise that, for you, where your seat is important, I don't think they see things that well. They do, but not my husband doesn't see the same as I see. No, mine doesn't either, because when we were playing golf and I said, did you see the scene on that hole? No, no, he was focused on the game. Yeah, more on the game, I suppose. So that's just shifting your focus, yeah, to where you were, probably just on the game as well, but then also looking around and enjoying the view. Enjoying the view, yeah, it's just different ways.
Speaker 1:But I do think that if we make our environment as healthy and as helpful that it can possibly be for us, then we can get great benefits from it. Yeah, and I think your environment can also be like if the friends and the people you hang out with I think that's what I was saying. I think that's what I was saying People say hang out with the people that you aspire to be with. Exactly, you know the people you admire, that you want to be with, yes, yes, so if you're friends, you're always getting the same results. With your friends, you're coming away, you're not. There's something about that group of people that are not inspiring to you anymore. Probably Otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking if you just had yet a lovely time and you love them all and whatever, then, yeah, maybe it is time to change your environment, change it around a bit. Maybe even just going somewhere different, even with the same people, can make a difference.
Speaker 1:They've actually done psychological tests and scientific tests on areas that are really run down and they'll put flower beds in them and flowers. I remember that. And then the actual people in the area, the crime rates reduce and people in the area actually start taking care of their own environment a little bit more, when they can already see it looking nice. Look, doesn't that make it? Yeah, when everything looks so horrible and bad, you just think what's the point? What's the point of just trying another piece of litter or whatever Exactly? But when everything's beautiful and nice and well-worn, that's like changing the broken window pane. If they're all broken around you, you can't be bothered, but if it's just one that's broken, you think, oh my gosh, that was another study that I can't remember now. Yeah, by an architect. He said look, if we start changing these and I don't know if I'm saying it correctly, but it was this famous study as well, or it was a phrase by this architect, and yeah, it was about the window panes in rundown neighborhoods. And they said that, yes, if you make that change and you look after it like what you were saying, even in a place that could look really sloppy, people start taking pride. So that's where the environment really takes less crime rates, less everything really.
Speaker 1:So it's the same for your own home, isn't it? Yes, if you look after your home, you're not going to want it, but once it gets, for instance, your home, once it gets really messy, then it's such a big effort. It's such a big effort, isn't it? Yeah, and it takes self-discipline and self-control not to just say, ah, but if you make it easy for yourself, you make it easy by every time. You get something out, put it back, you get your clothes out, try and put them back or put them somewhere. You know, if you just start throwing them all on the floor, then you find you've got this huge pile that will take self-discipline to pick up, put in the laundry, but it's a lot easier and they're only a few worse about yourself as well. I think it goes you down in the end? Of course it does, because then you've always got that on the back of your mind, haven't you Too much? I've got, yeah, your sense of overwhelm. It makes you overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:So if you want to be a tidy person, you know how many people do you hear saying I wish I was tidy, or I wish I could be tidy like you, or I wish I could manage. Well, just start by trying to create that environment. So look at your own space and think maybe I can do something here. Yeah, there's so much help as well on YouTube or wherever. You can just look things up how to be tidy. Yeah, I know it's amazing. Yeah, they can actually teach you how to be tidy so you can start off small. You start small like we just like what we made the other podcast about making your bed, for example. Make your bed, put clean sheets on it, start off small and then try. You know you make a habit of that. Repeat it, repeat it so that it becomes easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they also say, like a lot of people that are trying to better themselves in life, like professionally. So they say hang out with the people that you want to be like if you want to be a lawyer, you know. Hang out with if you want, you know, if you aspire to study law, hang out where the lawyers go. Go to where they are Exactly, and then you can get to how they talk and what they do, how they behave. Absolutely, I guess it's the same thing. Like you want to be healthy and have a good heart, health or something and you want to go to the gym, make it easy for yourself Prepare your gym bag.
Speaker 1:I remember I used to do yeah, get the right stuff. Yeah, but you get the gear, get the right stuff. That's step one, you know, after you've enrolled or whatever. And then make sure you put your bag, like right near your door in the morning and make sure it's all your stuff in there is clean and ready. Just all, put it in the car, are you still? Because we used to go by car, so I would actually put it in the car, so I would know I would have it ready. That's simple things like that. Yeah, because otherwise, when it's the morning and you've got some other millions of things to do on, I haven't got time to go and I can't prepare my bag today. Oh, I can't be bothered to prepare my bag. Yeah, now I haven't got time to prepare my bag and that's it. You know you stop. That's the reality of it.
Speaker 1:All the sabotage, all the self-excuses and also maybe even the reality because you're in a rush, because you've got other things, you might have kids, you've got to take somewhere to school or whatever. Yeah, it's all part of it. Definitely, change your environment and you will get. You will you know to the life that you want what you desire. Change it. Change it. You won't need as much self-control Now.
Speaker 1:And also, like if you're thinking of living in a certain area before you actually go and buy in that area, if you can afford to buy, obviously, but go and live there for a while and see if you like it, see what the people are like there, see how it is. That's a good idea. Yeah, like, rent it for a bit or something. Yeah, rent it. Yeah, because a lot of people they might think they've had this idea, this fantasy in there, you know, like they might want to live in the suburbs or something. Yeah, yeah, no, I believe you don't Buy a house in the suburbs. And then they think, oh, I hate this country life. I don't like this. It's too. You know, it's quiet, there's nothing to do, it's boring, it's my hate people.
Speaker 1:Or if you want to live in the city and you, you know, just go and experiment and just try out. You know, even if you just go for a short stay, even if you don't want to commit to a longer stay, absolutely, so you see what it's actually like there, because your notice, after a couple of weeks you already start feeling what the vibe is, definitely, and you'll also be able to notice what your own vibe is, how you're feeling Like because you change your environment. How does that actually make you feel? Is this kind of what you want? You're right in about testing things out. I think you have to give it a couple of months, probably. Oh, definitely, definitely, because you never, you know. Definitely a couple of months minimum, because then some things that might, you might not like, you might start liking afterwards, exactly, you might long for what's familiar in your old place where you used to live. You long for that. But then once, because this is all new, your brain has to adapt and you have to see. But I think, if you like it more or less, you're quite, you quite.
Speaker 1:Yes, like what they say about a good pair of shoes. You know why do you have to stretch into them. You know if they're good and they're comfortable and you, you know they should be quite comfortable as soon as you put them on Really, and if you find the squeeze into them. I'm just thinking of that, saying that I need the horrible things in life. You have to get used to it. The other stuff you just think, oh, this is not true, because I remember when we first started going to luxury hotels, for instance, when I used to feel really uncomfortable in them, you did yeah, yeah, I was only used to them because I used to be an air hostess and the company paid. I would feel embarrassed. I don't feel as if I belong here. I don't feel as if I should be here. No, it was because we grew up, you know, poor, yeah, so yeah, you're right about that. So sometimes you know even the finer things in life.
Speaker 1:You have to kind of what a come when you go to a posh restaurant. Lots of people feel uncomfortable there. There you go. You know, I just don't like all that fuss and attention over here. You have to get used to it. I'm not that kind of. I have to get used to it. You're lucky thing, I mean you don't have to get used to it. I mean I would like to not to be left feel casual by. I would like not to feel like that, because why do you have to feel intimidated just because you're in a posh place? Do you feel intimidated? Still? Sometimes I do. If it's really upmarket, yeah, I don't like it. No, you don't like it because it's habit, isn't it?
Speaker 1:You prefer, like I prefer just some new, simple, lovely things, but simple and basic, like more homely, you know, so that you can. Yeah, that's obviously I prefer that as well. I suppose that's what a lot of people prefer. I mean a lot of our member watching a programme once where they were pillionaires and they were saying really, I just want, we've got a chef here, we're on holiday, but I just want bangers and mash. I don't want any posh stuff on the menu.
Speaker 1:No, you won't come for food in the end sometimes. Well, you want, do you want things that are familiar to you? Yeah, because if you grew up on bangers and mash, oh, like pasta and pizza, which is like an English sausage with these mashed potatoes, which is, if you like them, because that's what you grew up with. If you grew up with. You know, whatever you grew up with, that's probably what you want to go back to, yeah. Or a simple plate of pasta Pasta for Italians, yeah, just say no, I just want to play it past that. Don't give me all this.
Speaker 1:But that's a lot to do with your environment, isn't it? But sometimes you can get used to it more. You can get used to it. What you're saying is can you get used to luxury? I think people can get used to luxury more than the opposite, which is the hard life. You get used to everything. Really. The human mind and the human body is very adaptable, thank goodness. So we adapt. We make most of what we can. We adapt to everything, basically Most things but obviously to luxury. You don't have to adapt much to that.
Speaker 1:You might feel a bit uncomfortable at first. If you're invited somewhere that's like oh way, going to a gala or something, you might think I'm nervous. That's quite common, isn't it? Yeah, I think that would be normal. I'm nervous, unless you're used to going all the time. Yeah, I think you might. But yeah, definitely, you want to change. Make a change in your life.
Speaker 1:Don't rely on self-control. Change your environment. This is what we're saying. Finally, don't just rely on you being determined, you having all the self-control. It's not an efficient way to go about it. No, it's not the most efficient and you will fall for the trap. You'll fall for it. You'll fall for the pleasure trap, you'll go towards the easy stuff. And it's not your fault. That's just the way we're all designed to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember, like some of our colleagues that deal with the hypnotherapists, that always have the non-smoking the ones that do the non-smoking. The first thing they tell their clients is to throw their cigarettes away and then don't keep any cigarettes in the house. Don't go to places you know. If your colleagues are going out, don't do that. Don't go to all the places you see. Try and avoid your normal environment where you're going to see a lot of smoking buddies, a lot of your whatever. In this particular case, yeah, change your environment, yeah. Or, if you want to cut out drinking, don't go out on nights, out with your friends all the time. When you know you're going to require self-control, you're going to have to say I don't know, whatever, a soft drink instead of that. It's going to be really tough and that's going to require that self-control.
Speaker 1:Change your environment. Go somewhere else, do something different. You'll start. Do something that you like, but that's different. That might not require, for example, drinking, like what you said, drinking alcoholic beverages. You go somewhere else. Do something different. Do something different, change your environment and it will change your life. It will change your life Absolutely. Let us know what you think. Please do leave a comment on Spotify and do leave a review on Apple Podcast, because it really makes a difference for us. It makes our podcast grow and we can make more episodes for you. We can make more, which we love doing. Share and lots of love to you all. Lots of love and smiles from the English sisters. Bye, bye.