Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

Mastering the Art of Navigating Life One Step at a Time

October 24, 2023 The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 88
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Mastering the Art of Navigating Life One Step at a Time
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever feel overwhelmed by the constant clutter and chaos of your daily life? Picture a life where you tackle each day one manageable step at a time - it's a reality, and we're here to show you how! We're The English Sisters, and on this episode of "Get Real," we're breaking down how to navigate life's chaos, from the mundane to the monumental, with a practical step-by-step approach. We'll also share insights on how a personal assistant can be a game changer in bringing order to your day and why it's so crucial to seek help when the overwhelm gets too intense.

But this isn't just about daily tasks - we're taking a broader scope, applying the step-by-step strategy to significant life events like wedding planning or navigating tough times. Drawing from personal experiences, we unveil how we managed daunting, lengthy processes one step at a time. By considering the consequences of our choices, we'll demonstrate how you can avoid potential conflicts and enjoy life more fully. So, join us as we unravel the art of taking life one step at a time and discover how you too can master this game-changing approach. You're not alone in the chaos - let's tackle it together, one step at a time.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Please follow us and make this podcast a healthy habit for you, your family and friends to listen to weekly by sharing this with as many people as you can!
Thank you!
Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Speaker 1:

one step at a time, definitely. I think that's a great idea to go about life, because otherwise things can get a bit overwhelming, can't they? Absolutely? That's what we're going to be talking about in this week's podcast Episode of Get Real With the English Sisters. Welcome everyone, welcome. Yeah, you know, sometimes you can, you can be.

Speaker 1:

It can be tempting to just look at that whole staircase and just think, oh my God, yeah, I can't do it, it's just too overwhelming. It's too overwhelming because you're too tired and you're just too many steps. Too many steps, but I mean the old saying of take one step at a time. I find it very calming. I think it's really calming and it helps a lot with anxiety, because once you take the first step, the second one's always usually easier. At least you've got like a model to follow. You've got like a little what's it called? A little? You've got a path, haven't you? You know there's another step, you know what to do. The next step up, whereas if you just think you have to just be at the top, you can think, oh, I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, nowadays we all live rather busy lives, don't we? No matter whatever we're doing, there seems to be lots of things to do during the day most of the days, and if you just get up in the morning and then you think, oh my God, I've got this, this, this and this and this to do, in the end your mind is going to be a bit frantic, isn't it? In the US, science is even only focused on five or seven things at one time. You can't keep focusing on, you can't have too many things in your mind, because it just gets cluttered and it makes you feel anxious in the end. That's how I feel when I know I've got a really busy day. So I just think, okay, just focus one step. So now the first step is getting downstairs, having my breakfast, then it's getting into work, then it's going to the next appointment. It's all in little easy steps that I can feel like every little step I can fully focus on as well and I can give my undivided attention to that moment, to that step. I can really think about it, whereas if I feel like I've got the entire day to think about, I'm just making a mess in my mind. Well, yeah, because you just flitter it up and down and go right and left. It's overwhelming just thinking, even when you've got deadlines and you've got to be there for 9.15, you've got to do this. Imagine just taking it all together. You just think the first step I have to do this now and do it now. That's why people that have assistants say they find it so calming.

Speaker 1:

Assistant, well, you mean like a virtual assistant or a personal assistant, because in the end they take all that out of their day. So they say ten o'clock, you have to be here at 10.30, you've got this, but they organise everything for you. So it's all like in steps, little steps, one at a time, so you don't feel as if you're really overwhelmed, whereas if you've got to organise it all and then also do it all, it becomes so much. Yeah, but a lot of people don't have these personal assistants. We've just got our phones and we put it down in our calendars. No, but I'm saying, if you pretend that you are your own personal assistant and you take one step at a time in the end and you can schedule your day, and when people have their software that you can schedule your day, there's lots of little tools you can look up that help you organise your day in a certain way and that really helps because you're not.

Speaker 1:

Even if you have to do something, that's like really overwhelming. Say, for instance, if you need a new passport or something and you've been putting it off for ages yeah, that's a classical one you do have to go to the passport office. So if you have to do that, do the first step. So you know, open this thing, go in, look, see what you need, and you do the first step on the first day and then the second and third step will follow a lot easier, whereas if you never get to that first step, you've just still got it all in your mind I have to do this. I have to do this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because it just seems complicated, or you're just bureaucratic and you can't be bothered and the procrastination steps in, and sometimes you need a little hand as well. You can ask for help as well. You can ask someone to help you. If you don't know how to go online to do it, or you don't know where it is, or you don't know how to do something, you can ask for help. But the important thing is getting that step done, that first step, yeah, yeah, and then knowing in your mind that there'll be other little steps to follow. Goodness me, so it's a little process. It's a process. Yeah, well, this can happen.

Speaker 1:

I mean, it's not just about one day, it's about anything in life, because I remember, you know, years ago, when we thought I wasn't going to be able to conceive and then we had, we decided to go for adoption and there were so many steps involved in that, it was like it was right, you, so it's overwhelming. Yeah, it's overwhelming, though it was literally overwhelming. And I remember thinking, you know, and then they tell you, this could be five, ten years. There is a massive, long process in this. Yeah, one step at a time. Yeah, I had to remember to think, no, it's just one step at a time. What is the first step? Going to my local council house or wherever? I can't even remember. Now there were so many steps to take, such a long process and that could have been overwhelming as well.

Speaker 1:

And I remember thinking, no, I'm just going to break it down into little, easy, liveable, little things that I can actually do and take steps. So that's the same with anything. Yeah, I think it's the same with anything. And like, if you chunk things down, if you make things into little bite size things that you can do quickly as well, maybe. So if you've got some time in your day just to go and do that first step instead of putting it off, I think that really helps as well, and then it just takes the weight off your mind, because once you've got that adoption process going, once it's on the roll it's like it's on the roll. Then the next step follows a lot. Someone will phone you up or they write to you, and then the next steps are a lot easier. Yeah, absolutely, it's already started. It's not so overwhelming as seeing that whole thing, oh no. I think that's why, when you actually start your day as well, we're going back to just day by day. That's how it is easy as well. Once you get ready, you have a shower, you put your makeup on or whatever. That's already beginning the process, isn't it? And it makes the rest of it a lot easier.

Speaker 1:

That's why they say, when you have a bad hair day, they say, if you can't find the right shoes or something, yeah, it like knocks you off what your little patterns are, things that your brain is used to doing. Right, yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I guess. So you think, oh no, I don't feel right for the day. You don't feel as if you set it off properly. Yeah, you started the process properly. Yeah, yeah, the steps, the steps.

Speaker 1:

So you have to say like, no, I don't want to have a bad hair day today. Do your hair, yeah, wash it. I can literally say but, yes, yeah, oh well, you just meant like an example. I mean a bad hair day. Somebody would start. Your day starts off badly With the wrong foot. I know, yeah, with the wrong foot.

Speaker 1:

So you think, oh, no, this would be a bad hair day. That set me back. Yeah, so true, so true, indeed, yes, but then how do you get back off from when it's a bad hair day? Go back to the next step. I would say, oh, yeah, yeah, just carry on, carry on with the next step. So the first step might be a bit messy, you can do to fix it, you do it. But if you can't just carry on and just get on with it, next step, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So what was the next thing? Yeah, and usually when you do that next step, you feel more confident as well, increases your confidence. So you think, yes, I'm back on the right track again. Is that what they say? You step off the right track. You can always just get back on. You can make a mistake. Maybe one day you forget to answer that email, say from the personal office, and you didn't answer it. But then the next day you can still go back and answer it, just because if you miss a step out, yeah, it's not a drama. It's not a drama. You can go back and do it. Usually you can remedy this. There's systems in place that make it possible. Make it possible, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I think the key to a karma life is to just take things step by step and don't start catastrophizing or imagining the worst thing that could happen. When you see the big picture, what's the worst thing that can happen? If your mind tends to go that way, always envisage what's the best thing that could happen to you. Yeah, that is true, that is a good piece of advice. So how could it go the best possible way? It's going to get my passport and go on holiday? Oh, yeah, in that case, absolutely. And with the adoption or whatever, things are going to work out? Yeah, things are going to work out. My child, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1:

Even just planning a wedding A wedding can be very stressful. That can be stressful as well. But if you think of the whole massive big picture, you can become overwhelmed. Definitely it can even stop you getting married. Sometimes it can cause such stress that a couple of split up yeah, exactly yeah, and especially with something like a wedding it's supposed to be, if we think about it, there's not supposed to be so much pressure on it. It's supposed to be a fun, lovely thing to do In most cultures. Fun, I'm saying Because you're supposed to be able to celebrate the love you have for each other and the love that you're going to have in the future. So it shouldn't really be a day fraught with stress and nerves on how to get it exactly perfect. No, unfortunately it shouldn't. There is so much stress around weddings at times. There is a lot of stress around it. So if you just take it step by step and you just think, oh well, step one, this I have to organize this. Step two I know, find help, find help, friends, family, get help because you are organizing, you know, a party, if you want to call it that, yeah, it should be a nice thing, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I think people get bogged down now by so many things that should be pleasant and should be fun and should be enjoyable things and they become, instead of instead of doing that, becomes the opposite, becomes something, of course, is stress and anxiety and worry, and it's a real shame because it doesn't need to be like that. If you maybe lower your expectations, what do I want? Stop thinking about what you think everyone else wants. Your family wants, yeah, what you, what they expect from this event. What do they expect they expect to receive this and this and this? Just think about you. What do you expect it to? What do you? How much fun do you expect to have? How much should you want to fill in love with your partner? How much do you really that's it you want to? That's it really. That's what you have to focus on, what you have to focus on yourself a little bit more, on your partner and also on your guests, but just taking step by step. What do you think?

Speaker 1:

Most people don't really like weddings and they think what most people I don't know here, at least when they, when we used to get wedding and oh, no, we've got a wedding. Yeah, you're right. No, we think they're a bit of a dragon, they're a bit expensive and you have to buy the gift. You have to think of the gift, unless it's like really close family or best friend or something you know. So if you think like that, first of all, maybe you can eliminate a whole lot of guests. Just think who are the guests that really want to come. That's right, you know. Sometimes you're obliged to invite them, so you have to, but you have to sometimes, yeah, anyway, what I mean is take the stress out of the day, yeah, as much as possible.

Speaker 1:

Fun and loving. Yeah, it's about you know, the two people that gonna share their love, and remember that. I think, as far as weddings are concerned, you have to remember that sharing your love and trying to enjoy yourself, I know, goodness me, yeah, absolutely. Obviously, there might be few moments of tension. That's normal. That's like exciting. I think everything that's worthwhile having is probably has fought with. Nothing's easy in the end. No, if you're planning something or you're just being born, isn't easy, let's face it exactly. So, anything, that's bound to be some difficulty or tension along the way. But challenges, yeah, if you take it step by step, you'll get over those those little challenges. And if you, you know, minimize the risk and the conflict and everything as best you can. Yeah, people that hate you, and that's what I was thinking about. The tables, the conflict. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a few things still.

Speaker 1:

Don't invite people that you really don't get on well with just because you feel as if you have to say face no, I think it's got to be your day. You have to be a little bit selfish. It's you and your, maybe your parents. You have to come up with special little phrases when people saying, oh so you're getting married, and then you, you can see they're thinking I'm not having been invited. You say, yeah, we're keeping it small. You say little things like that yeah, we're actually, we decided to keep it for a very intimate, very small, you can get away with it in the end. What can they say? They won't say anything. They can't say too much. Well, they might think, hey, you got invited to my wedding, I don't know. But yes, it's, it's just wedding is because it's one of those big, you know kind of life events that has to taste that you have to take it step by step from from the dress wedding to a funeral.

Speaker 1:

If I'm gonna go to the to the other extreme also, there's that by set, if you, yeah, you will get help and you'll have people that help you, that's also really overwhelming, and it's very overwhelming because you're already suffering. You know bereavement and you're going through the grief and everything. So there, if you have, you know, people close to you that can help you. It makes it a lot easier. And if you don't, if you just take it step by step, so you think, yeah, all life, major things, anything yeah, birth of a baby as well, step by step.

Speaker 1:

Otherwise it gets so overwhelmed. The day you realise your pregnant you're already starting to think about giving birth. You're taking it too, too, too way too far ahead. Give yourself time. It's each and every single day, enjoying the process as much as you can and going to university, anything really in life. It's like that, even just that, for any single thing you want to do, if you take it step by step, it really helps you. And I think what it does as well, it puts you more in the moment, absolutely so. It's like a meditation. It'll put you more in the moment where you're living, more in the present. You can focus actually on that step that you're taking and you're not worried about the past or the future, you're just involved in that activity, at that particular moment in time. You can give your full attention to that particular moment, to that particular step you need to take and then you'll be ready.

Speaker 1:

I think when you don't take things step by step, it's thought to mind that you can also miss out on a lot Because you don't even realise you've done those steps. You might think, oh no, by the end of the day I'll be two times late to go out with a friend or something. Oh yeah, you decide that in the morning or the two days ahead You've already decided all on Wednesday night Can't go out, yeah, and you're going to miss out on something that could be amazing. Yeah, you could have a great time. Whereas if you just take it step by step and say, well, I can't confirm now, but I'll let you know later Wednesday, depending on what happens, if it's possible to do that, I would suggest you do that. Yeah, that's a really good idea, because a lot of the times we tend to fresh ourselves out and think, oh no, I won't be able to do that, I've got really busy day. But in the end you're happy to go out with a friend, you're happy to go out after a busy day. Sometimes it makes you enjoy it even more, especially if you take it step by step, because you won't be so overwhelmed and anxious that by the end of the evening you have to think Living in the future.

Speaker 1:

Because when you don't take it step by step, what it means is you're living in an imaginary future where you can already see your day. You can alreadythat's not even real. You just imagined it. You're stressing yourself out about it normally because you're not imagining a beautiful day. That would be visualisation. That would be totally healthy for you, because you imagine oh yes, I can see myself the end of today. I'm still okay, still energised, everything's perfect. I might have a beautiful smile on my face. Normally you don't do that. You tend to think, oh god, I'm going to be exhausted and blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, definitely you're imagining something that a worry is making it. It's not real, it's an imagined situation, so you have to just take it step. There is no other choice in life, really. No, that's the best way. That is definitely the only way, the best way to go ahead.

Speaker 1:

So we hope you've enjoyed listening to us and let us know if you take things step by step or if you're going to in the future. I think we're probably, since we've just done this episode, we're probably focused more as we try to do that most of the time? Yeah, definitely Even more. And, as always, when we hope podcast helps you, it also helps us. So we're growing together. We're growing together. So thank you so much for listening and watching us. If you come and see us on YouTube, and please do follow us, and if you could spare a few moments to give us a review, we'd be truly grateful and appreciative if you take those steps. Bye, bye, thank you, bye, bye. Lots of love and smiles from the English sisters, bye.

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