Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

The Power of Small Gestures: Spreading Love and Making Life Better

November 21, 2023 The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 92
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
The Power of Small Gestures: Spreading Love and Making Life Better
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever wondered how tiny acts of kindness can revolutionize your life? Get ready to unravel the power of small gestures with us, The English Sisters, in this fascinating episode of Get Real. We delve into the concept of a "love bank" where every small act of kindness becomes an emotional deposit. Whether it's making a cup of coffee for a loved one or paying heed to someone's words by putting your phone away, these gestures can significantly impact your personal and professional relationships. We highlight the profound influence of a comforting touch or the rarity of genuine eye contact in today's digital world.

Tune in to explore how these seemingly small gestures can be your expressions of love while enhancing connection with those around you. We also touch upon the often neglected aspect of self-care, emphasizing how even a brief walk in nature can uplift your spirits. So let's embark on this journey of making small yet meaningful changes to create a better life. And don't forget to subscribe and join us on YouTube for more life-enriching content. Remember, a little gesture can make a big difference. Let's spread love, one small gesture at a time.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

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Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Speaker 1:

Never underestimate the power of the little things. Yeah, sometimes it's the small things in life that really count, and when we're trying to make these grand gestures maybe a grand gesture is nice every now and again, but it's the everyday little things that really count. So, make something count in your day to day and listen to Get Real with the English Sisters, because that's what we're going to be talking about how you can make the difference to your day by focusing on the little things that make that difference. Yeah, noticing how they impact the quality of your life, I would say for your life and the people around you. Well, it's like when you go to a hotel and you see a little chocolate on the bed yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking about. It's a small detail, isn't it? You don't like chocolate. It's just that little thing that someone's taking that extra care. It's a small gesture of saying, oh hello, I know that they've been trained to leave them, but it's really, they've been trained. Well, they've been. You know, it's part of the training, isn't it, to leave chocolates and stuff. It's part of hotel training. I imagine this sounds funny the way you said it. Training, yeah, it's a way they've been. You know, is that not the correct way of saying it? Training, probably, but it's part of their philosophy, isn't it? Oh, you mean the hotel management philosophy, but I was actually thinking of the staff. Yeah, you're thinking of them doing many jobs For the staff. I was imagining that it was part of the job. Training is to make everything beautiful and then leave the little special flower or whatever it is. Or it's just like saying hello, hommage. Yeah, definitely like saying hello. But these small things are so important, like in not just for businesses as we know. They are for business because, as you were saying, it is important but also for relationships as well. What about that? What about small things make a difference there? Well, I think when you do those little small gestures, you add to the love bank, don't you?

Speaker 1:

The love bank is when you put little things into that love bank to make that person love you more. Yeah, I do remember that concept. When it first came out, I used to use that and say, oh, you're not going to get points in your love bank to my husband. Well, that's added extra points or it takes them away. I remember that. What was it? It's like the idea that it's. I don't know if you look it up, but you'll probably find out who said it. But it's just the concept of it is that whatever you're doing for your partner or helping your partner is like giving you points, isn't it? It's giving you, like, little love points. It'll add to the love bank to make them love you more, but really it's to make them feel as if you love them.

Speaker 1:

I suppose it's the opposite. It's how you show your love for someone. Yeah, exactly. So, like if you make your partner say coffee in the morning because you know they like coffee. It's a sweet gesture, isn't it? You make them a cup of tea, a cup of coffee? Yeah, those are the small things. Bice versa, yeah, they kind of do count. You get someone a hug in the morning.

Speaker 1:

It's these little gestures that you can often take for granted, especially if you're rushing around and you don't think about them. I suppose it's because what really it comes down to is that you're coming out of your own head and all your own issues and concerns you might have and all the anxiety that you may have, and you're going into someone else's head sort of thinking okay, I'm going to do this for them. So you're thinking about them, aren't you? Yeah, showing yes, exactly, you're thinking about them. It's like bringing them a coffee in bed, for example. That's a really kind, sweet gesture. Yeah, I think I've got to get that one back again. I used to have that. He used to be so spoiled with the breakfast in bed.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it can also be the opposite. For instance, yesterday, my husband normally makes me a coffee after dinner because he knows I really like it and it's a really sweet gesture. But I saw he was really tired yesterday. So you made coffee. Oh. So I thought I made it. No, I said no, he didn't want one. So I said I'm making my own coffee so that you because I know that you're tired and you really appreciated it. Yeah, so sometimes it can be like the opposite thing. You can do, you can turn it around and do the opposite to what. Yeah, because you know that they're making an effort for you. So if you see that they're really tired and overwhelmed, you can say well, I'm going to do it for myself today, because I know how tired you are and it's really sweet. He really loved it Because you made your own coffee. Yes, I was there and I was just making my own coffee and I said look. I said, no, darling, I'm making my own coffee tonight, because I know you're really tired, and he really appreciated it. And I said, oh, thank you, darling. Well, you were taking something off his like little to do list because he knows that he's like you know he does that for you every day, yeah, but it's sort of a sweet thing. It was a sweet. It's a little sweet thing that he does. He doesn't have to make your coffee, of course not Because he's a sweet gesture.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's one part of those lovely small gestures we were talking about there, the foundation. They're the building blocks of many relationships and of most of the world's way of communicating. If we think about it, it's in everything. It's in businesses, it's in, it's in relationships, it's in within your family, it's. It's it's giving somebody a good night kiss or a good night, you know whatever, hug. You know that it's all these small things.

Speaker 1:

It's like when you're in the hospital as well. If you have, if you, if you like, if you have a nurse or a doctor that just touches your arm or holds your hand, what a difference it can make. It's, it's you feel understood, you feel heard. It's, it's just so comforting. Yeah, absolutely it's. Yeah, you're right in the hospital. It's because when you're in a moment of need, it's that tiny, small gesture. I remember it when I was in the hospital, gosh, just the nurse being so, I just thought, god, you're like, thank you, thank you for that touch. You know, amongst everything else, it was just this lovely warm touch, you know, just just consoling. Absolutely, yeah. And I think people don't really realize that it's these little differences that can make such a huge difference to your day and to your life in the end. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I was wondering who actually was saying that about the small differences. Oh, yeah, what about putting your phone away when someone's talking? That's a big topic at the moment. I hate that. If I'm talking to someone and they've got their phone, I mean obviously I don't say anything. I feel as if I I should have stopped talking. Yeah, you have to, don't you? Well, I feel as if you're not, I'm not being given the fully, the full attention.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, now, I mean, I don't really think that's a small gesture. I would consider that quite a big gesture of somebody. Actually, I think it's rude. Yeah, yeah, well, if you're talking, but it's like we're talking with people that you're very intimate with, not people that you don't know. No, if you're intimate, like at dinner yesterday, we don't have our phones at dinner. No, they're in the other room and I think, if we have, when we're sitting at the table, if you have your phone unless you go and get it because you're looking at something or you see your phone call or something you have to answer yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're not just on your phone looking at your scrolling through stuff. When you're talking to someone else, you're not really there, are you?

Speaker 1:

I mean now it's been through, for instance, in offices the open plan offices people do a lot less work, they're a lot less, they're a lot more stressed and they're less focused as well than in like before. When you have your own office, when it's noisy, really, yeah, oh, I thought that might build some kind of community sense. No, it's opposite. It's opposite Because that's the reason why it was made, wasn't it to have these? Yeah, it's actually the opposite. People get really stressed, they get overstimulated, overburdened. Oh gosh, I bet you they do. Yeah, sometimes it's.

Speaker 1:

You have to think we weren't even technologically about a hundred years ago, I know. I mean the radio came round when it was first invented. It was like the first technological thing that would actually come into our private space, into our homes. Yeah, you're right, apart from literature. Yeah, nowadays it is a lot of the small gestures are a lot around the phone. I think of putting your phone away and giving you know that, yeah, you're right about that. I don't know how much that is a small gesture or a really massive.

Speaker 1:

Imagine if you're on a date or something and the other person's always got their phone out, always checking it constantly or scrolling. Yeah, it's like what we learnt when we were therapists. If you look at like even if you look at your watch or your phone, it's like saying I've had enough of you. Now. It's, it's a clear rapport. Yeah, you're breaking rapport with somebody. You are actually obviously, yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's a clear signal to that person that you're not really that interested in what they're saying.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, all times up. Yeah, and that's literally means times up for you and my time that I can give you is up. Yeah, so it's. Yeah, it's actually really very, very abrupt. So, yeah, it's so small thing. So let's put that in as really kind of a small thing, but really it's a really big thing to actually put your phone away when somebody is talking to you, or have it on mute or something you know. Put it in your pocket, get you know. That's the gesture that shows somebody the look I'm going to give you my. I'm going to give you some eye contact here.

Speaker 1:

I think eye contact has become like so precious nowadays, it's so important to give it. It's so rare, isn't it? It's rare, it really is rare. Rare in families, rare when you're talking to your kids, rare when you're talking to your spouse, your partner. So it's about rushing around and not not not stopping to look into someone's eyes Absolutely, and that's where the real connection is made, though. Absolutely Well.

Speaker 1:

For instance, yesterday I was just thinking I was talking to my daughter on. I was really tired as an evening Normally when I talk to her and I work out. I'd already been working out all day doing things all day. So I was just sitting on the set here and I just had my ear buds in. I was talking to my daughter and that's what I was doing. The TV was off, no one was in the room and I wasn't on my device. The phone was next to me on one side because obviously it was a call. Yeah, you were taking it. Yeah, but I was just there, I was just talking to her, 100%, and she wasn't even in the room with me. No, so I could have been on my devices scrolling through.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but you can tell when they're not listening to you properly, though I can Like if, if, if I'm talking to somebody and even through a WhatsApp call and they're going mm-hmm, you can tell. It's like when you say what are you doing? You're working. I know I can't, I can't hide it, it's just not. There's not. But that was like quality time that I had with my daughter, who was in London at the minute, and it was like we spent like three hours on the phone and it was just total, full immersion in that conversation with her. Yeah, why she was, so she was on her way home, she was walking, making her dinner and everything, but it was full. She wasn't on her devices, I wasn't online and it's I think.

Speaker 1:

I think that's that's like and that's so precious and it's what doesn't happen very often nowadays, what has to happen more. So we have to put it in more like yeah, for your own mental wellbeing and for you to relieve your own anxiety, it is so important to focus on that individual, just doing one thing, just focusing on one thing. Basically, even if it's just a little, even if you might think, yeah, it's boring. You know I don't. I don't want to be sitting here at breakfast with my family because you might think he's boring. You know, I'd rather be scrolling and and that, laughing at the little cat videos or something, and and I can appreciate their funny, those videos, some of them, and you know it's fun to be.

Speaker 1:

But then you, you will miss out and you, you are not giving that clear sign that you're really connecting with the people around you. So it is important to do that. It's a little thing. It's a little thing. It makes such a huge, huge difference to your life, yes, yes, and to others as well, because others will, they will bathe in that attention that you're giving them and they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll really relish it and think this is really special, because unfortunately, in today's world you don't get that much of it. You don't, you really don't. It's quite rare and absolutely.

Speaker 1:

And then you remember these things yeah, and I could have been just watching a film or doing some work online. I could have been doing something else, but no, I was talking to my daughter. So that's what you, that's what you, that's what you would do if she was in the room. If she was in the room, I wouldn't be on my device, I'd be talking to her, like when she comes over for Christmas or whatever, we spend hours chatting. Yeah, you do, which is still rare, because not that many people do that now. No, no, I agree.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's very, very important. It's like holding hands. Again, you know, that's like a really small gesture. Sometimes at the end of the evening when I'm really tired, I don't really know what to do much. So just to connect with my hubby, I might just sit next to him and just hold hands, and then that's a very small gesture, but I know it means a lot. You know, to him I know it means a lot because he loves connecting, you know, physically. So even if it's really small, it's not for him, you know. So it's a small gesture that I do, or, like, you know, a small a gentle caress when you're driving in the car, just like a little, it's a little touch. It's very, very small, but it's like it's like a big deal. It's like the blocks. I think it's like the blocks. Yeah, it's the most important things in life.

Speaker 1:

In the end, the little things. They're underestimated and undervalued. They're the ones that really count. They do. They're just everyday little things. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So what are the little things that you're going to do that will make a huge difference to your life? Yeah, daily, small. Sometimes it can even be just something you do just for yourself, like taking a five minute walk, looking at a tree, appreciating the leaves on the tree. You know we're coming, we're coming into the seasons where the trees look so beautiful, so you can just stop and appreciate them and then you'll see that it just makes such a difference to your day as well. Just that little thing, absolutely small gestures, for yourself too. We know that a lot of you follow us and have not yet subscribed, so it makes a huge difference to the show we are continuously growing. So please do hit that subscribe or follow button and please do come and see us on YouTube as well, where you can see us in person on video. Hope to, yeah, I hope that you message us and we'll be in contact and be lovely, stay tuned. Lots of love and smiles from the English sisters. Bye, bye.

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