Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

The Art of Being Imperfectly Human: Navigating through the Pressures of Perfectionism

January 02, 2024 The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 98
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
The Art of Being Imperfectly Human: Navigating through the Pressures of Perfectionism
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Are you striving for perfection? Trying to live up to an impossible ideal can be exhausting and damaging to our mental health. In this episode, we're getting real about our humanity - all the raw, imperfect, and beautiful moments. We're taking a deep dive into the pressure to be perfect, how it's amplified in today's fast-paced society, and the toll it's taking on our mental well-being. We're also exploring the concept of artificial intelligence, how robots can support us, and what sets us apart from them. Because at the end of the day, it's our very imperfections that make us human.

We're also delving into the complexities of human nature, how we often misinterpret our desires, and how this leads to conflicts. We'll discuss why we crave connection and the dangers of trying to be totally independent. We're also inviting you into our conversation, urging you to join us on social media and share your thoughts on what it means to be human. Don't miss this enlightening discussion about the beauty and challenges of our shared human experience. So, hit the subscribe button and join us on this journey of self-discovery. After all, it's not about being perfect, it's about being human.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Please follow us and make this podcast a healthy habit for you, your family and friends to listen to weekly by sharing this with as many people as you can!
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Speaker 1:

We're only human after all, aren't we?

Speaker 1:

We're only human after all, with all our flaws and all our imperfections, and yet we seem to want to be superhuman. We do. That's what we're going to be talking about in Get Real with the English Sisters this week. Yes, yeah, there is this strive for perfection that's growing stronger, I think, in today's world. I think it's growing stronger and stronger. Yeah, definitely, and it's something we have to push back against, I think, because it's not good for our mental health. No, absolutely, I think it's. We have to push against it because we see just images of perfection as striving for perfection everywhere, all the time, and in this world of artificial intelligence as well, and it's only going to get more and more. There's going to be more and more of it around our humanity.

Speaker 1:

As to say, sometimes we don't do things as perfect. No, and it's like what they say when they've done scientific studies to look at faces that are most attractive. They're not actually perfect faces, really. Yes, there's always a symmetrical aspects of it, because one side of our body is always slightly different to the other. That's true, isn't it? It's like one foot is bigger than the other, half of our nose is longer than the other In your night, yeah, and one eye might be bigger than the other. And we don't, as humans, we don't actually like the perfect faces, don't we? I think we did. I thought we loved symmetry. We like symmetry, but not when it's too symmetrical, so if it's too perfect, so like if you had the same my face and then you did exactly the same with the other half of my face, and then you did a scientific experiment and you looked at it, people would think it was odd. There's something mismatched about it. We don't want it in humans Because it's not human. It's not human. Exactly If it's too perfect, it's not human. So why do we always want, why are we always striving for perfection? Then, yeah, it comes to mind.

Speaker 1:

You know that song. You're Only Human, I'm Only Human, after all. You know Ragabonno, you're Only Human. La la la. Yeah, it really makes you think about that. You can't get me to sing it. No, I mean, my voice is bad enough. I don't want to put you through that. But yeah, but why not? You see, that's where we want to be perfect. We're not singers. No, no, just enjoy the tune. Yeah, I enjoyed the tune. Yeah, I just listened to that song recently and it's quite deep actually.

Speaker 1:

It's about, I think it's you know, it's about how he tries to. You know people come to him with a series of problems or he has a series of problems in his life and you know the constant repetition is I'm only human after all, so there's only so much I can do. Exactly, I can't fix everything. I can't, I can't. I can't do everything that's asked of me, if it's too much for me. No, because I'm only human.

Speaker 1:

So do you think we have to paste more importance on that? Then I do the fact that we're human, definitely, sort of embrace it and be happy about it, be happy that we are different robots, be happy that we know what empathy is and we have all the kind of things that may hinder us, like feeling strong emotions. We might consider that to be like a weakness, because we might burst out crying in a moment when we think, oh, pull yourself together, this isn't the time to start crying. That's a strong emotion that comes, comes into play because you're human, and so perhaps, when things like this do happen to us, it would be, it would be lovely really, if we just talk to ourself well, I'm only human, I'm not only, I'm human. That is why because only I don't even like that, you know, it's like oh, you're only human, you're human. That's already a moment. I think the fact that it's your only human means that we have to embrace our humanity. Yes, yes, yes. And the humane aspects of us? Yeah, the strong emotions, the, the, the, perhaps losing our temper when it we're not supposed to lose it, you know, losing our cool, whatever happens happens because we are human, absolutely. So we just look at us and say that's a human. What do you mean? Well, if we see somebody in a tiff, in a tiff, instead of getting angry and say, well, that's a human. Yeah, you're right, that is going to be tomorrow's world.

Speaker 1:

There will be a difference between the artificial intelligence, like the androids, and you know and I mean I know I probably watched too many of these sci-fi things, but I really do think they're going to become like, like in nursing, for example, there's already a range of robots that can help to take care of the elderly and they're already in practice in Japan, for example, and they can take care of them very well. You know, like it's very simple things, obviously simple mansions, like cleaning and cleaning the bed and certain things, but whereas perhaps a human would be fine, that tiring, you know the repetition of it or the heavy duty work of it. So what are you saying then? I don't know, I've got to be lost here. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm saying that. Are you saying as humans, we get sick of things? No, yes, as a human we're not quite, as I'm not the out of here, she's just staring at me. I'm the human. I don't know. I've gone down this sci-fi thing where I remember this film or whatever it was I was watching and now I've got a bit distracted in my mind. But yes, what I'm trying to say is that if you had a choice, sometimes having a choice between a human nurse and a robot nurse, for example, you would choose a human nurse if you would hope that the human would be kind and gentle, otherwise you'd go for it, but not if the human would be in a temper and upset. No, exactly. So the human has its flaws, we have our flaws, we have our imperfections and obviously, you know, the androids and the robots probably won't I mean, hopefully they don't have that, because that's like into a horror movie. We're going into different movies.

Speaker 1:

Now I was remembering an episode of Modern Family where it was so funny where they got this intelligent fridge. I don't know if you remember it was ages ago, no, and they bought this fridge and in the end they were both talking to the fridge. You know, the fridge was saying I think you need a cocktail now. Would you like me to order one? Would you like me to prepare one for you, like, give you the suggestions? And everyone was talking to this fridge and getting comfort from it. So I was thinking, maybe AI can give you comfort in the future. That will be something that perhaps I think it will be able to give you comfort, because it already does in so many ways it does.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't think that's what wethis episode really is about the fact that we have to accept our imperfections as humans and embrace them. Yes, thank you. Let's get back along the line, because if we don't, that's when we get into trouble. When we try and be superhuman or be like artificial intelligence, we get into trouble because we're not that, we're not that, but just as we have our imperfections, our imperfections can be perfections. As we see in art, art that's created by artificial intelligence doesn't have the same depth and meaning as someone that's maybe, you know, painted it themselves, a human. That's painted it because they have a whole load of different thought processes that wouldn't come to mind for artificial intelligence, even though it is getting better and better.

Speaker 1:

So what would you advise? That we have to remember the fact that we're human. I think we do, and we have to, like, embrace it and be happy about it. So if we see our partners firing up and think, yeah, that's a nice thing, you know not, obviously not if they're abusive or violent or anything, but if they're just talking about it, they have a little moment when they get upset about something. You have to acknowledge that we are human and that it's okay to get upset or fired up about something or to feel overwhelmed or anxious. There's so many strong emotions that we can feel as humans. If there is a part of our personality that we aren't comfortable with because we think it's like over the top. So like if we think that, for instance, that we may get really fired up after we've had a drink, well, maybe we can. You know, we can tweak it. We can tweak it and say, okay, I'm going to drink a little bit less, I'm not going to drink because I don't like that aspect of my personality that comes out when I've been drinking or whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

Or if you know you get triggered. You get triggered by a friend that goes down the road, you know, start saying you know, why haven't you got a partner yet? Or why haven't you got your house yet, a friend or a family member? Because some people can trigger you, can't they? Yes, humans are subject to triggers and that's one of the things about being human. I think about that. You will keep putting that, you know, life in the wound.

Speaker 1:

If you have someone, if you know someone that does that to you, you know, maybe just choose to stay away from them for a bit. Well, I think, once you understand that they trigger you, it helps a lot. You know, you can say oh well, you know, that's one of my triggers, I have to go prepared to see them. Or if they just appear from nowhere, you can always, you know, say, oh, I've got, I'm actually really busy now, and go off somewhere If you know you're going to be triggered by them, because you know, obviously you don't always have a perfect answer for them, especially if you feel they're provoking you in some way, like when you were saying. It's kind of some sort of yeah.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes they're not provoking, they're not doing it on purpose, but it's just what they want for you, what they want they want for you, so that they project that wanting they have for your life. Yeah, one to you. Yeah, and it's nothing to do with you really. No, it isn't Just what they want for you. Yes, it's their business, it's not your business. It's not your business. It's not your business. No, but it intertwines, doesn't it? Especially when it's family members or loved ones or family friend or someone that you're really close to, it can intertwine more than if it's just something.

Speaker 1:

Well, that's being human once again, isn't it? You know, putting your wants onto somebody else. Why do we want to do that as humans? Because we think we love them. We think we love them, yeah, but I think really it's all coming from the own eye is because they want, or you want, or I want you to be happy. I want you to get this so that you will be happy. That's very common if you actually listen to what people say. But really, I want to be happy because I'm not happy.

Speaker 1:

Well, for example, the case of when you know your parents or you know someone. They're pushing you to have a kid, for example, to start a family. What's the ultimate? They want to have grandchildren. They want. So. It's a desire, it's a want to pass on the genes. It can be a natural desire, but it's also something that perhaps you don't want at this moment in your life. But they want it. It's their want, not yours. It's their desire. So it's a bit tricky, isn't it? When it's not your want exactly, you have to understand that you're not gonna give if it's not something you want.

Speaker 1:

We're getting in a very we're being very human on this podcast, aren't we? We're getting mumbled and fun. This is not, it's not programmed. We just say we're gonna be talking about being human and we thought, right, and now this is us being human and, with all our flaws of conversation, it's a normal conversation. Yeah, and that's what it's like to be human. That's where they take you, these normal. They're messy. They're messy.

Speaker 1:

You get tired, you get stressed, you have strong emotions, you can feel anxious and you think what's wrong with me? You know like you really want to get it together. I mean, I don't know if you've ever had those times when you think just snap out of it for God's sake, just be, just be, you know, come on. And yeah, one thing is being brave, but sometimes you can't be that brave because you're human and it's overwhelming. You don't want to be brave? Well, yeah, that's it. It's all times. You want a human help. You need support.

Speaker 1:

Yes, as humans, we do need a lot of support from other humans. We think we don't. That's a problem. That's the difference between us and AI, and I think that's the problem with today's society and some cultures, like where we are that we think that we think that we can be more independent than we really are cut out to be and we're not independent at all, are we? Well, no, and I think that's what's causing major depression, major anxiety, major everything.

Speaker 1:

Really the fact that we have to feel as if we have to be perfect and be so independent by yourself. Do everything. We don't depend on ourselves. If you just think about how society was before, you would find a spouse and then you would depend on each other. Now you have to be independent. Yeah, you're not allowed to depend on anywhere else. Well, just listen to. You have to be independent. That's what's encouraged. I mean, financially is definitely, actually. And emotionally, they say you have to be emotionally independent for yourself to find someone. Well, yes, yeah, you want to be needy. Yeah, you have to be independent. Yeah, so it all comes down. There's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure. You're right. Yeah, everything and hold and hold.

Speaker 1:

But if we think a human, a whole, human's whole, they're flawed, they might have you know, it might be like the fruit I picked, some fruit from my garden. They have holes in. It was pecked, okay, yeah, but you could still eat some of it. Some animal had a go at it, but you could still eat some. Did you eat? Some of it was good. Is that what you're trying to say? Yes, I understand that. Yeah, some of it was okay. We may have our holes and our and our floors, but hey, you know, we're natural, we're organic, we're human, we're okay. I mean, we're still, we're still desirable. Yes, people still want us, even though we may have a few holes here and there. Yeah, we'll be impecked at by the world.

Speaker 1:

We've been through bad times by life, by life, yeah, that's just life. Weather a storm. We've weathered many storms. Yes, that's true. As humans, we weather, and as we weather the storms, we grow stronger. Some of us don't. Some of us grow weaker, which is also human. But from that weakness with others, how, with other people? With the support, yeah, we can gain strength. We need to find a support group, but we must remember that I human, humanity, and except that we're weak many times all right, and that we need friends and we need connections. We must accept that we need help a lot, and it's difficult sometimes to accept yeah, because we think, no, I should be, I'm an adult, I should be able to do that. I just go on my own or do that by myself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so typical, isn't it? What is everything so hard? Why am I always so tired? Why do I always feel as if I have to be a certain size or I have to use flash? You're human. Yeah, I have to have a certain amount of possessions by the time I'm 30 or whatever. Oh, come on. Well, you know why. Yeah, I think you've really hit it on the nail there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so it's just it's typical, isn't it? I think it is all having to do everything by yourself, having to be so strong, so independent. No, you don't, because I look, if you think about gender roles as well before it was that Males used to suffer a lot because they had like all the financial. Maybe in some, in some parts of the world, they had all the financial burden on them and the women had all the the emotional burden. But they had to be like emotional support for their male partners and for themselves, but it wasn't like one person had to have everything. It was like more shared and it was. It wasn't equal and it wasn't a good thing, and we moved away from that, which I believe is very good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because we are, as women and there's men, men are allowed to be more emotional women, I'm not sure, I'm not sure independent, so we're more equal. But I think, within that, we have to like, now we have to. We're going on to the next step, where we have to be like More rounded, but at the same time, yeah, we have to acknowledge that we have these, we have been picked up. We have these holes within us, yeah, but you know, so we, so we can help each other. We can help each other in an, in an organic and, yeah, human way. Human way, yeah, to become Better than we were before, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So let us know what you think About this humanity, about being only human. You are human and it comes with, with all its blessings as well, with all our creativity, with all our imagination, with all our beauty, with the ability to feel. Yes, absolutely. Let us know in the comments. And please do come and watch us on YouTube. And please do Subscribe, yes, subscribe, oh yes. Follow us wherever you are and give us a shout out. Come and see us on Instagram, at get real with the English sisters, or at the English Sisters, and on Twitter, too, with the same handles. See you soon. Bye, bye, bye. Lots of love from the English sisters. Bye.

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