Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

The Art of Being Your Own Champion in the Face of Societal Pressure

March 27, 2024 The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 111
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
The Art of Being Your Own Champion in the Face of Societal Pressure
Show Notes Transcript

Ever catch yourself waiting for someone else's nod of approval before you can feel good about your own achievements or even your looks? Well, we're tearing down those walls on Get Real with the English Sisters this week. Join us as we tackle the complex dance between self-liking and the pursuit of external validation that seems to be woven into the fabric of our society. We're sharing personal stories, insights, and yes, a few laughs as we uncover why it's not just healthy but necessary to be your own cheerleader in life's grand stadium.

If you've ever mistaken confidence for arrogance, or felt like you needed to hide your self-appreciation to fit in, this is the episode for you. We're peeling back the layers on cultural norms that influence our self-esteem and dissecting the paradox that while confidence attracts, too much can repel. We don't have all the answers, but we've got strategies, coping methods, and a hearty dose of real talk that might just change the way you see yourself. So go on, give us a listen – it's your personal invitation to join a conversation that might just lead to liking yourself a little bit more.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

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Speaker 1:

permission granted. Do you give yourself the permission to actually like yourself? Why do we need to have other people say you look nice, or you know your fit, or your your this, your that, the other. Why do we have to have other people commenting on how we look and how we feel all the time? Yeah, to make us feel good, to get that validation. That's what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode on Get Real with the English Sisters, the podcast that will help you learn how to manage your anxiety and your mental health and your brain right. Yeah, give you coping methods and strategies to just deal with everyday life. Basically, it's a life we're all going through every day. Yeah, it's just being alive, being alive, being alive, yep, so there you go, right. So, yes, why does you know? Why can't we have a mission to like ourselves? Is that when you like your own posts and then you think, oh gosh, shouldn't have made a mistake there, but you just see it and you think, oh, I like this. You're not supposed to like it, are you? Other people have to like it, but really you have to like it first in order to be able to publish it and to post it Because of the way we're brought up, the way we're, the you know the society we live in that says like it's like you're like a show-off or beheaded or, you know, vain, or if you like yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, probably depends on the culture, but I think definitely British culture where we grew up in, you know, especially the school system, it was much like that. Yes, you weren't allowed to say nice things about yourself and give yourself validation. You had to wait for other people to say it. Thus, then you were approved us to say you know, if one of the popular kids came and said, oh, I really like you, or your bag or whatever, then oh, wow, you know, all of a sudden, that kind of gave you permission to even like it more. You know it was that validation, wasn't it? Yeah, is that? Is that what we could talk about? Sort of kind of yeah, because I think if you, if you, if we were taught like, if you like yourself, you're like self-centred or like not narcissistic, if you, if you know you care about too much about liking yourself yes, it wasn't about yeah and liking.

Speaker 1:

We're talking about appearance here, aren't we? In this particular case, it's about appearance, yeah, but I think so. If you talk about appearance and you like yourself, it's like, oh, they think they're. You know, they're the, they're the bees needs, they're there, they're so cool, they're this and that.

Speaker 1:

And yet the confident ones are usually more attractive to everyone anyway, aren't they? The ones that you know? Walk up with their head up high and they, they look confident. It's also a very attractive quality, so it's a bit of a. You know that's 20 years. Yes, it's a bit odd here, because I think there's a fine balance. As usual, you have to like yourself and not like yourself enough to think that you're better than everyone else. No one likes a peacock, like too much, like always showing the beautiful feathers. Often you know la la la. So no, that's not attractive, but it is attractive to be confident and to like yourself.

Speaker 1:

I think, especially in today's society, if you like yourself, all the people are going to tend to like you more as well. As a general order, some won't, they, they will. Because if you're really, if you're not confident in how you appear and you don't like yourself, you're going to be admitting like inferiority. Yeah, and you feel inferior. You're going to give off that feeling that you're not good enough and then people subconsciously pick up on that. Yeah, they pick up on it. If you're saying to yourself you know you're in a dialogue is like what an idiot, god, I look like a slob today. Uh, you, you, you idiot. Look, you got this wrong again. You're so stupid, you know, etc. Etc. These sorts do come out in all the ways, subconsciously they're transmitted. It's not it? You know it's horrible to think like that, but you know, as humans, we detect these kind of things in other people. It's that we can sniff them out and other people can sniff it out too. So you know, we're saying give yourself permission for once and all to like yourself.

Speaker 1:

You know, like yourself. There's something you like about yourself. There is one thing Start with that. There's one thing. It could be anything. You know, any personality trait. We're talking about appearance. Oh, appearance, okay, could be. You know your fingernails or your toe. I'm not saying it has to be something big, you know. This is just why are you laughing? It could be. Some people really like their fingernails. No, some people have got beautiful hands, exactly Beautiful hands. There's something that they're proud of. Yeah, so let's start there. Start with that. It is hands. Whatever it is, who cares?

Speaker 1:

I think it's Barbara Streisand because she just won the. Recently she won the Sargo Awards, right, yes, best actor of all time. Wow, lifetime awards yes, and she was saying that when she was growing up, there was no one, no woman, that looked like her and she had so much, so many struggles to she make it, to make it and to be beautiful. She was confident in her appearance and her beauty and therefore other people started to see it. Exactly, she was beautiful, even though she did not conform to the standard, the stereotype yes, stereotypes of the Barbies of the time or whatever. Exactly, yes, that's right. But she says her confidence won through and in the end, she's won this Lifetime Award and she was amazing actor and you know it's.

Speaker 1:

It's the confidence of sexy. It's about confidence. Yes, it's like a young man and he moans and he says I'm not tall enough, but then he oozes charm and confidence. In the end, that's sexy. You know, that is what is sexy, whereas if they're really insecure and they're, you know, and you're not you feel like you're not enough. That's not, that's not going to be that attractive to other people. So I think you know, if you begin to understand this about yourself and look for the small things. Why are you laughing? She's been very Because I think look for the small things and the big things in you that you have, that you likein your qualities.

Speaker 1:

But if you don't like anything about your physical appearance, because you're in that kind of state of mind and you're just, just, you know, like being disastrous, because there is something there always is. If there's absolutely nothing, think about yourself. There are good traits in your personality that you're probably proud of. There are things that you like. Maybe you're really kind, maybe you're humorous or you've got that sarcastic vein that always, you know, kind of sees the thing, sees things in a different light, even if it's not, you know, there's something particular. Yeah, and if you give yourself the permission to actually embrace those qualities and like them, then you'll find that you'll feel more confident. You will Give yourself those little likes. You can imagine like little hearts are going up and you're doing it inside yourself. You are liking it, yeah, yeah, look at the little hearts coming up, you know, like the icons. Give yourself hearts and smileys and begin to like yourself in small ways.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and also remember that some of the most beautiful, some of the people that are considered the most beautiful in the world, like the models and the actors. Yeah, they're into girls. They used to think and they think that they were ugly. Yeah, you hear them all the time. I grew up thinking I was ugly. I grew up thinking I was ugly and and in the end, beauty is like it's subjective. To begin with it's a formaro. It's not even true, is it? It's only in the eye of the beholder. It's exactly what everyone. It's so relative that we cannot discuss it. Yeah, and I think if you give yourself the permission to think that you're beautiful, you are beautiful Exactly.

Speaker 1:

And when you think you're not beautiful, that you won't be beautiful because you won't be beautiful to yourself or to others, because you won't exude that, that, that that's a charm, that it's almost a feeling, it's contagious, it's contagious. It's almost like this fun feeling that when you see somebody and they might not be that stereotype, the charisma, but the charisma, you know that you just think, gosh, they're beautiful, they're sexy, you know they're sexy. That person you know is sexy, no matter what they might, you know, not be the standard, like what you were saying Barbie or Ken or whatever you know but they look gorgeous because they're having these gorgeous thoughts about themselves. So that's something not to you know, we must not forget that thoughts become who you are. It's that's. It's very, very simple.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, my boys, I'm just thinking. You know, my boys used to say you're beautiful for me, yes, you're the most beautiful girls for me. For me, yes, you mean, we're just used to think, yeah, we're ugly for everyone else, but for you, because you're our mama and you love us, you make, yeah, that is true. You can look at it from that perspective, or you can. You can also look at it for me and then for us, we have to be the most beautiful things for us For yourself. Yes, yes. So we don't need any validation of anyone else. And you know, you know what they say.

Speaker 1:

Beauty comes from within. I mean, there is so much truth in that and everyone might say that's rubbish. But you can talk to the most beautiful person in the world or what the world thinks, but if they're not kind yeah, and there's something about the inner, you know, inner state of mind, that's not quite right You'll pick up on it immediately and that beauty will. Just you'll see the grayness and you will think, ah, where is? You know, there's no light. You can pick it up. We're mammals. We pick up on these things, so don't underestimate it. Pick up, you know. Have that light within you. Give yourself permission. It's about time. It's about time we all did. Yeah, give ourselves permission to think you look great, to like what you do.

Speaker 1:

For everything I say for everything, definitely. What do you think? Do you like yourself? Is there something you like about yourself? And why do you think that people that like themselves more get more likes Get more likes? Exactly, yeah, yeah. So come and chat to us with you know, on Instagram as well. We're at Get Real with the English sisters. Yes, and say hello, come and give us a like and come and share your thoughts on this episode and on all the past episodes. Why not binge on a couple and enjoy having a different perspective on life that might carry you up in a certain way? Yes, see you soon. See you soon, bye, bye. And this was from the English sisters Bye, bye, bye, bye.