Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

Believing in Yourself and Embracing Life's Transitions: A Journey of Growth and Kindness

May 01, 2024 The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 116
Believing in Yourself and Embracing Life's Transitions: A Journey of Growth and Kindness
Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Believing in Yourself and Embracing Life's Transitions: A Journey of Growth and Kindness
May 01, 2024 Episode 116
The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo

Send us a Text Message.

Ever felt like you're treading water, with your dreams just out of reach? We've all been there, but today's heart-to-heart is about transforming that self-doubt into a steely self-belief that not only strengthens your own resolve but also inspires others to trust in your potential. As we peel back the layers of expectation—yes, even those well-meaning yet heavy aspirations our parents lay on us—we share real-life tales and those of our clients. Together, we navigate that tightrope walk between honoring our dreams and juggling the perceptions others have of us. We also take a candid look at the bittersweet symphony of embracing new ventures, confronting change's shadow, and the enlightening missteps along the way.

Picture this: you're a gardener today and a hypnotherapist tomorrow. Sounds whimsical, but it's the kind of life shifts we tackle in our latest chat. Let's talk identity, and how it's so deeply woven into our life's fabric, be it through our careers or the roles we adopt. Pondering retirement? We've got you covered. We're confronting the emotional whirlwind that can come with life's transitions, and yes, we're even chuckling at the terms 'old' versus 'old, old.' Here, aging isn't a taboo—it's an art form, sprinkled with wisdom and a chance for reinvention at every turn. And through it all, we underscore the continuous, ever-evolving journey of self-improvement and acceptance.

In wrapping up, we lean into the warmth of human connection and the understated heroism of kindness. From our supportive sisterhood to you, we recount those small, daily interactions that can uplift our spirits in a world that sometimes feels too digital. We muse over our upcoming international podcast award application and our summer plans, all while encouraging you to take a peek at our book, "Stress-Free in Three Minutes." Whether it's setting simple, attainable goals or extending a kind word to a stranger (or even a friendly bot), we're here to remind you that your journey toward a confident future is just one heartfelt belief away. Join us and let's march forward, together.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Please follow us and make this podcast a healthy habit for you, your family and friends to listen to weekly by sharing this with as many people as you can!
Thank you!
Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

As always we love to here from you please email us with; Get Real with The English Sisters as the subject, at englishsisters@gmail.com

Watch the show on our YouTube  Channel
Follow us on Social Media
Share this podcast with your friend

#anxietyrelief #mentalhealth #mind #health #theenglishsisters #getrealwiththeenglishsisters #selfesteem #selfhelp #anxiety #wellness #friendships #psyc

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Ever felt like you're treading water, with your dreams just out of reach? We've all been there, but today's heart-to-heart is about transforming that self-doubt into a steely self-belief that not only strengthens your own resolve but also inspires others to trust in your potential. As we peel back the layers of expectation—yes, even those well-meaning yet heavy aspirations our parents lay on us—we share real-life tales and those of our clients. Together, we navigate that tightrope walk between honoring our dreams and juggling the perceptions others have of us. We also take a candid look at the bittersweet symphony of embracing new ventures, confronting change's shadow, and the enlightening missteps along the way.

Picture this: you're a gardener today and a hypnotherapist tomorrow. Sounds whimsical, but it's the kind of life shifts we tackle in our latest chat. Let's talk identity, and how it's so deeply woven into our life's fabric, be it through our careers or the roles we adopt. Pondering retirement? We've got you covered. We're confronting the emotional whirlwind that can come with life's transitions, and yes, we're even chuckling at the terms 'old' versus 'old, old.' Here, aging isn't a taboo—it's an art form, sprinkled with wisdom and a chance for reinvention at every turn. And through it all, we underscore the continuous, ever-evolving journey of self-improvement and acceptance.

In wrapping up, we lean into the warmth of human connection and the understated heroism of kindness. From our supportive sisterhood to you, we recount those small, daily interactions that can uplift our spirits in a world that sometimes feels too digital. We muse over our upcoming international podcast award application and our summer plans, all while encouraging you to take a peek at our book, "Stress-Free in Three Minutes." Whether it's setting simple, attainable goals or extending a kind word to a stranger (or even a friendly bot), we're here to remind you that your journey toward a confident future is just one heartfelt belief away. Join us and let's march forward, together.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Please follow us and make this podcast a healthy habit for you, your family and friends to listen to weekly by sharing this with as many people as you can!
Thank you!
Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

As always we love to here from you please email us with; Get Real with The English Sisters as the subject, at englishsisters@gmail.com

Watch the show on our YouTube  Channel
Follow us on Social Media
Share this podcast with your friend

#anxietyrelief #mentalhealth #mind #health #theenglishsisters #getrealwiththeenglishsisters #selfesteem #selfhelp #anxiety #wellness #friendships #psyc

Apple Podcasts
Spotify
YouTube Channel
Follow us on Social Media

Speaker 1:

believing in yourself.

Speaker 1:

Believing in yourself and no one else will. How many of us have had that happen to us? We've had to put on our coat of armor? Yes, exactly, and get on with it and really believe in yourself. And I think when you believe in yourself, funnily enough, other people believe too. Yeah, they kind of tend to follow, don't't they? They do, they're little followers.

Speaker 1:

So listen and enjoy this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters and, as always, thank you for your support, thanks for reaching out on social media and emailing us as well at englishsisters at gmailcom, and thank you. Thank you because we're growing all the time and it and it really does make us excited, doesn't it does? It's very exciting. We love reading your comments and we do believe in ourselves. We do believe and we believe in you supporting us, and thank you so much for that, because I mean your projects and your ideas. So do share with us. Share with us what you're going to be up to in the coming weeks, right then?

Speaker 1:

So what's this all about, then? Believe in yourself easy to say, isn't it? But is it easy to do, like the way you said that? Yeah, no, it's not easy to do, because it's so easy when you have other people believe in you. It like lifts you and it like encourages you and inspires you, doesn't it? Well, it's very motivational if you have somebody that comes up to you and say, look, I believe in you. You think, wow.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes I think you can also put that added pressure on you, can't it? Well, in this case, if we're talking about too much belief, too much pressure, like saying, hey, I'm only human, you can't expect me to to do all that I, I, you know I'm not perfect and I'm. I might get it wrong that, not in that case, in that scenario. But if we're just talking about normal, I think there's a happy medium, isn't there, as usual? But when it's, I think, when it's too much, I say, if your parents, they believe in you too much, but they, they like, really niche it down into specifics, that they want you to be a doctor or they want you to be, you know, a professor or something, oh, no, no, that's too much. I believe in you. You can do it. But then, you know, I think there comes a time when you just think, I mean, we've of clients so many, so many, yeah, I've had so much pressure put on them that they feel as if they can't live up to that. So, I think, believe in yourself, but just believe that you can be what you want to be, but take it step by step, so don't put that added pressure on. That's it. Yeah, I totally agree with that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because in the case of when you have to fulfill somebody else's high expectations, it's already bad enough having your own super high expectations of yourself and not allowing that side of humanity to enter and allow for yourself to fall and allow for yourself to make mistakes and get things wrong and just mess, mess it all up. You have to allow for that and still believe in yourself, because these things happen and that's happened all the time. I think you have to allow for, you have to allow for the fear that you're going to feel, because you're going to be fearful. You will not want to do that. You will not want to believe in yourself. Yes, you will. We sound like some kind of I don't know like some kind of, but you know you will not. You will not, but it's true, you will not. You will not want to do it because it's scary and it's change, and it's change, yeah. So so if you have a new project, yeah, for instance, that you want to believe in yourself, that you can do it, and maybe other people are saying, oh, that's a bit much. No, do you think you really can? But you know, do you think you are doing that? Oh, that's typical, isn't it? Yeah, do you think you? I mean it's like, even if they don't say it's kind of implied. You know, is that really your thing? You know, you have your friend saying I can't really see you in that kind of. You know, whatever you want to do, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1:

I remember when I first became a therapist oh my God, your husband was saying I can't imagine Violetta doing that. No, he was very surprised. What the hell's happened to her? Does she really want to be around people that have emotional problems? Wouldn't she be better, like you know, open a garden shop or something? I go look, I know she loves gardening, but she's chosen this and I will definitely support her. I did support her so much that, as a little sister, I followed her because I became, I think, I realized that it was always there, ever since I was a little child. Yeah, the longing, not longing as to say I don't think I longed, but I just kind of I think you did long to understand the mind more. I did long to understand.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're right, and I kind of I could see things. I don't want to make it sound presumptuous, but like in the playground, I could see all the kids that were suffering and I could see, like if I would turn around to some of the kids that chosen to be my friends, they couldn't see the other kids suffering and I used to think why, why can't they have that? I didn't know it was empathy. I didn't know what it was, but I thought thought, why can't they see that they're so carefree? I could, like, feel things in a different way. I didn't know what it was at the time, I didn't know how to use it. I just thought I don't know. Yeah, so because you're little, you don't know these things. No, but seeing other people hurt or upset would make me hurt and upset and I would want to help them somehow. I would definitely help them, I would go up to them and and you did help, I did help them. Yeah, I would definitely. I would give them, become friends with them and yeah, so, so, even though I didn't know it, you chose a path.

Speaker 1:

First I didn't realize that was my path, and it was definitely as well. My husband said what your sister's doing it now you're going to go through your studies. Isn't that too much? You've got kids, you're already busy. I mean, come on, I can't believe. I don't think he believed in me that much too. Actually, not at all, really. No, no, nothing, no, it just had to be me saying look, I slowly started building my own self-esteem by you know, starting to do reading and then starting to do some of those exams, and I thought, god, I can never do this.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if I could do this. And then I started studying and I thought, well, this doesn't seem that difficult because many of it I could understand it intuitively. Yeah, so I could. I kind of got it like you did. Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1:

But I think that you had to have the belief that you could do it, because if you didn't have that belief, you would just give up, wouldn't you? I think it has to be like you have to have that inner strength and saying even though it's difficult, it's going to be easy. Yes, even though it's difficult, yes, it's going to be easy, yes. And if it's even more difficult than you expect it to be. You know, don't get upset by it. Just pull yourself like together, like what they say in England Well, yes, it's like and say, look, ok, today I might not be able to do this, but I'm going to go and find the resources and find the help that will allow me to do it tomorrow. Or I'll find, like you know, there are other people that are there that they can help you. They can definitely help you, they can support you. You know, whether it's online or not online, you know, sometimes if you find the right person to talk to, they will support you.

Speaker 1:

I obviously had you and you had me as well, which we encouraged each other. Yeah, because I remember in the beginning it was say I can't do this, it's so hard, I can hardly even go online. You would just, I felt like I couldn't even read anymore, like I was like such a. I thought I've even tried even reading. I haven't, let alone reading these psychological long things. I thought, wait, no, no, that's way out of my league, and I thought I can't, I don't know whether I'll do this, and then I'd say, yes, you can do it, come on. You would say don't be silly, it's just, they're just words. You can do it and I just started doing it and I sometimes it was really difficult time Just do it, you know, just do it.

Speaker 1:

You don't have to do everything so quickly. Yeah, you know, if you're on a course that's going to take a year, if you take two years to do that course, who cares? Yeah, who cares it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're learning and growing while you're doing it. Yeah, yeah, that was it, yeah, yeah. And to have the belief that you will finish it, because I knew I would finish it, because I've always been the one to finish things.

Speaker 1:

I hate leaving things unfinished. You do as well, oh God, I mean, I think I've got to be coached to learn to leave things unfinished. I really do not like that, because there's sometimes you just have to think, well, this isn't going anywhere anymore and my life is taking a different direction. I don't have to think, well, this isn't going anywhere anymore and my life is taking a different direction. I don't have to finish it. No, no. But yeah, I've had to sort of coach myself and say, no, let go of that. You don't have to finish everything.

Speaker 1:

But in this case it was something, it was a good thing. It was obviously. It was a lovely course and it was of interest and it was lovely to be stimulated that way. But, yeah, sometimes you don't have a family member or somebody else with you. So that's probably why we're doing this podcast, because you've got to kind of believe in yourself, yeah, and I think that if you do want to go into further studies or do something that's completely new, that you've never done before, that it's a really scary thing to do if you haven't got anyone that's supporting you or telling you to believe in yourself because you think you know, who am I to do this?

Speaker 1:

I haven't had any experience in this field. I might be too old, I might be too young, you know you, you, you worry, you worry about these things. So I think, well, I don't know if you worry, but I certainly did. I worried about things like that. Of course I did. I mean. But in the end I realized that I was setting an example, also for my children, because they were actually watching me do the exams. I would say, shh, you know, mommy, study, you go do your homework. And they would think, wow, and then afterwards they would ask me did you, were you graded on that paper and I go yes, I was, and I got you know. Wherever I got you know, and they were oh wow, mom, well done, you know.

Speaker 1:

So I felt proud the more I continued doing it, even though I mean I'm talking about we weren't you know? Yeah, I mean we're well into our life when we decided to do these studies, you know, and start this. There's nothing stopping you, really. No, and I think in each phase of your life, whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s or whatever you are, whatever age you are, there's always time for you to be able to learn and to challenge yourself. I think, because I think a lot of us get into the rut when we don't challenge ourselves, because we're frightened, we're scared of how we're going to be and how, how we're going to feel doing something so new, that's so different for us. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you get scared, don't you also?

Speaker 1:

It becomes like part of your identity, and then you have to change that identity, say, no, I am, you know, or I am a like I don't know a gardener. I. And then that's what I've done all my life, so I can't just start being something else. Yeah, you know they you means you have to change something of that comes after the words I am, even though you know we all say that our, what we do for a living, doesn't really identify. You shouldn't really identify us, should. We shouldn't really say I am, you know, like we shouldn't say I am a podcast, I am a hypnotherapist, because then it becomes so ingrained in your identity that when you do stop working or you stop doing something, you can feel like, well, now who I am and who am I?

Speaker 1:

A lot of people. That's why they get depressed when they go into the, the, the golden years of their life. You know, when they say you're laughing at the golden years. No, I said that. But, um, you know, because they can be golden, can't they? I think you know. And and no, I'm laughing because I'm thinking of this podcast I listened to today no stupid questions and they were saying the, the, the photo house, was saying in science, they say there's the old and then there's the old, old. So I was thinking that she was saying you need rebranding. So I was thinking that the old, old would be the golden years, the old, old and we're just old. Yeah, basically, no, yes, yeah, and I think you're, you're, you're as old as you feel. I don't feel old. I think you're as old as you are, but you are.

Speaker 1:

Age is just a number, like what they say always yeah, totally, yeah, ages. Ages really is a number, and also the growing part is essential and I think, because you're growing old, there's growth, there's wisdom to cherish, it's growth, there's a lot of growth in there, a lot of years of experience, like a lot of people, when they hit 30, they think, oh, that's it. Now I'm 30, I'm old, god, yeah, yeah, totally. The feeling of being 30 can be quite overwhelming and it's, it's just everything you start thinking about, everything you've got to accomplish in your life. And, yeah, 37, I mean now, it's now we're in our 50s, 30s, what's 30? Oh, babies, yeah, just beginning, just beginning, basically. No, not just beginning, but a certain amount of experience.

Speaker 1:

I think you grow as you, you know you, you grow to believe in yourself more as you grow older, hopefully, hopefully you do, especially if you're listening to podcasts like ours. You'll learn to uh, you know, to like to change your mindset, to, to accept new, new, new things, life. Because I think, because I remember when I was like around 30, I thought I've done everything. Now, that sounds weird. I'm a parent yeah, me too, I'm a, you know. I'm a mum, I'm a wife. I've got my career. You know, I've got, I've done, I've worked, I've done everything. There's nothing like new. I felt like as if I'd accomplished everything that I had to accomplish. If I, if now, the 30 year old saw me now, they would be whoa, who are you, kind of thing? What are you doing? You know they would be so shocked.

Speaker 1:

We're forever changing shells, aren't we? Yeah, you know it. We just don't stay the same. We're like those little sea creatures. Yeah, they change them, don't they? Well, I don't know if they change them. I think they go around looking for them. There's a little crab. I saw it on instagram. Really, yeah, because they found some little plastic um homes, all right, and there was this guy going around giving them like their real, real shell, oh, and they crawled into them, they left their little plastic home and they went in. Well, that's what I mean. Yeah, they found a better, more natural home. I feel that's what we're like. We're constantly changing.

Speaker 1:

So you can't look back at that little crab that you were and even if you're already a fully mature adult, and then, 20 years later, you're going to be a different little crab. I hope you won't be crabby. What does that mean? Like angry? Well, hopefully you won't be grumpy or crabby. Yeah, you shouldn't be. Really, if you, if you, if you've done everything and believed in yourself, you shouldn't, you should be pretty chuffed with yourself, pretty happy with yourself. Yeah, absolutely. If you believe in yourself, you will be.

Speaker 1:

And how to believe in yourself is have we said how it's a step-by-step process. It's, first of all, seeing what you want to be doing and achieving. Maybe Set yourself some goals yeah, you're right. And then yeah, and then stick to them day by day and don't get discouraged by something and don't set yourself goals that are absolutely impossible.

Speaker 1:

If we had said, like when we were just first starting learning to therapists that we would have books, that we would be podcasters, we'd be scared, we'd be terrified that we would have books, that we'd be podcasters, we'd be terrified. We'd be saying no way. I mean, we might have been happy as well, because it would have been a nice thing to look forward to, but it would have been overwhelming. We would have said how can we do all that when you know we, we can't, we don't know. We don't know all that stuff. Now, yeah, you know, we know nothing, kind of thing, whereas you have to.

Speaker 1:

You have to go, yeah, and I think you know the being proud of yourself and for what believing more in yourself comes from just looking back at what you did yesterday and thinking, oh, I did that, you know. You know, no matter how small it was the goal, I, I went to write myself up for that thing or I went to whatever you want to do, because we're so different, thank goodness, in this world. You might want to do something. You know whatever you want to do and whatever it is. Well, you know, you know, tell you what you want to do, you know, you know, it's that inkling that you've got inside. You don't know what you want to do because you think I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. We'll just start.

Speaker 1:

Just start by by dwelling into different little things yes, yes, into dip, into this, into that, into the other and see what you like. Yeah, leave windows open instead of closing them all and thinking I've done everything. Now, instead of saying no to things, start saying yes to different things, different experiences, because I think we really do stay stuck in ruts a lot of the time. We don't realize we're in those ruts and that's what's making life harder in a way. You'd think it'd be the opposite.

Speaker 1:

You think when you start studying something new you're going to be like overwhelmed. How can I do that? I've already got so much to do. But I mean, you'll find that that when you do something new it stimulates your brain and your mind and you'll feel more encouraged afterwards. You'll set aside that half an hour but then afterwards, when you have to clean up after your kids on it or or whatever, you're whizzing around, just doing it all happily, whereas before you might have been moaning and saying, oh no, not this again, I'm so tired, yeah, I'm so tired, I haven't got the because it's a mental. It's a mental when you're not mentally like I don't know how to say it yeah stimulated. When you're not mentally I wouldn't say alive, but, like you know, stimulated and your brain isn't like energized, then everything is like heavy, it gets.

Speaker 1:

Things are harder to do, like what you were saying, and even mundane things that are quite easy. You know, normally they're easy because when you're going, if you're cleaning, if you're cleaning up, say after your kids are doing housework or doing something, but you're thinking your mind is that thing that you studied? And you're thinking how can I put that into action? What are the next steps? You're just picking up the rags or polishing or doing the hoovering or the vacuuming, however you call it. You're not thinking, oh no, look at this floor, it's got dirty again. You're all happy thinking about the thing that you've got to study and learn and you think I've got to go and study that and put that into action. Yeah, yeah, and you'll feel so energized.

Speaker 1:

Things are more and, yeah, you get as you study and as you learn and grow and do different things. You have to be studying but doing something new sport or anything, a hobby, even if it's like going for a walk every day you go for I'm going to set myself a goal of going for. Like now it's mental health, um awareness year. They said it's for exercise. Yeah, exercise is super. So if you set yourself a goal, I'm going to start going for a five minute walk every day around the block, yeah, oh. Or 10 minute, 15 minute, and build it up to 15, 20, 25, 30 minutes in the end.

Speaker 1:

And when you get back from that walk, first of all, if it's freezing, you'll be happy to get back in the house and you'll be really grateful that it's lovely and warm. And if it's sunny, you'll have seen the lovely sunny air and you know, yeah, absolutely, you get that sunny disposition in you, don't you? You do, and then you feel that sense of pride because you've done it. Thus, the self-belief starts forming inside you, like slowly, like it's moulding in there, and you're shaping yourself into believing in yourself. That's how you do it. That's how you do it through looking back and seeing what you've done in the past and through, you know, not not criticizing yourself all the time if you haven't done anything.

Speaker 1:

You're one of these people that, well, then, set yourself down, then set a little goal, like what you said. It doesn't have to be a big thing, because then you can measure it, can't you? If it's a little thing? Because if you're that kind of person and you know who you are, yeah, that does amazing things, because some of you are amazing, and you're all amazing in your own way, but some of you really have had, you know, higher, your high achievers, that you've done things, that and but. And you're still looking and saying, oh, but I haven't done this yet and I haven't done that yet.

Speaker 1:

Well, look at yourself and look back on yourself and, you know, actually see what you have achieved. Maybe look through someone else's eyes, because you probably won't see what you. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Look through you know somebody else's eyes, if you can, if you know what we mean. Like, how would your best friend look at you, even though the other last week we did an episode about being your own best friend, or I can't remember when it was. But, yeah, if you can't, just imagine what would somebody that loves you, how would they look at you? What would they say to you?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I mean, you watch these programmes like Queer Eye, for instance, and things like that, and you see these people on there. They're, they're like always, oh no, but I've done nothing. I'm, you know, wow, and you see that they've been an incredible support to so many people and they've done incredible things. You know for emotional support and hard work, and they say, yeah, but I'm not, like I'm not an astronaut or I'm not. That's exaggerating, but that's how. That's who they measure up to who they think. That's the equivalent of it. You can't.

Speaker 1:

You have to see how many lives you've affected and who you know, who you, what? If you haven't affected all those lives, you have not all affected lives, because these people on Queer Eye no, not them. I mean, like, what about if you're not on queer I am, I'm sure you've affected the lives of people around you. Yes, that's what I'm trying to get to, even though you're not on a television program thing, but I'm sure you're a help to your mom or dad that has to go and you go and do the shopping for them. Yes, there are things that you do your granny or to, to whoever, to the neighbor. Yeah, you do nice things for them. Yes, there are things that you do your granny or to to whoever, to the neighbor. Yeah, you do nice things for people. Yes, and if you find that you haven't done anything nice like that because you've been under the weather yourself, they, they say that there's a lot of science in just getting up and doing a nice deed for someone, just for someone else, right, you're gonna feel a lot better about yourself, because it's not always easy.

Speaker 1:

Obviously, we're not talking here about if you're suffering from depression or you've had. You know, you've had no. That if you, if you are a person that's suffering from depression. Obviously it's going to be totally different for you, but in your own way, you've managed your, your illness, and you've managed to. You know, you're still here and you're listening, you're listening to this podcast and you're you. You, you're helping yourself, you're helping yourself and you've also helped the people around you by showing up to do things for you. Know, for yourself. Yes, yes, if you can at that moment in time.

Speaker 1:

Obviously, yeah, it depends on on the situation, but, yes, generally, I suppose we all do, don't we? We all count. Even though we might think we don't count, even if we don't think we count for anything, we always count for something, because when we're not here, we're missed, we're missed, yeah. Why do people count? Why only when they see, like here in Italy, they put up these posters, like people that die and with their name, yeah, and like in the in the villages, it's all these posters and you see name and surname and then the age and they, and underneath it's written beloved by the family and and mourned by many friends, etc.

Speaker 1:

And you know my husband, who's italian, he like reads these all the time and at first I was terrified of them. I go what are they. Is it like weddings? He said no, no, it's people that die. Gosh, how odd. But he said no, no, it's a sign of respect. Then you think of them and if you want, you go to their funeral. No, whoever couldn't attend their funeral.

Speaker 1:

And so you know, obviously, now it's been I've been living here for 30 years I'm quite surprised when he looks at them and then I say, like the other day he saw this poor lady, I mean um, the name and the surname, and then 49 years old, and he said, oh my gosh, I knew her. And you know, you just think, yes, you knew her. And you know, you just think, yes, you knew her. And he probably thought of her for just a few minutes. And you know, just when we walked to go and get a coffee, because it's those kind of things, he only knew her like an acquaintance. He remembered her from being a shop owner.

Speaker 1:

But then, you know, I think, maybe if we all kind of realise that we're not eternal, you know, if we have this feeling not a feeling that you're going to die all the time, but like if we realise our own mortality, it would make us appreciate even that shop owner, because what would you have given to give that shop owner Say, oh hi, ciao, how are you? Yeah, and just like, oh, I see you and you know, like. So when I went to the coffee shop afterwards I like had another massive chat with a bartender, thinking I can see you, I know your name, I you will, I will miss you if your presence isn't here anymore. You know, I, I think if we, we kind of lived a bit like that anyway, we, we're going a bit off topic here, but I guess it's all in that you believe in yourself because there are people, even though you think there might not be people, that will miss you. Well, everybody's missed in the end, anybody that's. You know, if you're a good person, you'll be missed Exactly, exactly. You know you're a good person, you'll be missed, exactly exactly. You know we're all, we're all. We're gonna start crying now. Okay, yes, you will be missed where.

Speaker 1:

I mean, you know, I think that's what you want. You want to get arrive to your deathbed in the end of a long, long happy life. You want to arrive and and and and it would. It's nice to think that people will miss you because you were a loving presence in their life. That's even that, like what you said, just being a loving presence. Just being a presence, it doesn't mean you have, doesn't mean you have to be, do big things or be great or anything. You just have to be a nice person, basically just be kind and nice.

Speaker 1:

It's so easy and I think, if we do take time a little bit more to connect to these, your local people, your community, just a little bit more, even though you may not belong to a church or to you know a particular uh thing, you know just just the people, just just the regular, the guy that gives you your ticket on the train or whatever. You buy it online nowadays, yeah, I mean, yes, everything's basically online, but there's still humans around. I mean there are humans and they, they need to connect. And so you know, if you take the time to connect with them a little bit more, I think and that makes you feel special as well, because it's going to make you feel good if you connect with robots, because if you're like buying something online and there's a robot helping you out and you, but you're nice to the robot, you'll still feel better in the end anyway, because you know you've been nice. You know why.

Speaker 1:

I know why you're talking about that? Because I got yeah, I got a bot chatting to me and it was and it was ultra, ultra friendly and ultra helpful. And at the end of it I saw myself smiling and I thought, oh wow, I'm actually reacting to this. I know it's a bot, but I'm I'm having this kind of obviously I'm a human, are you, am I? And so I was having like this human reaction to what the bot was writing to me. It was something that obviously pleased me, it was something it was nice, it was helpful. Well, it was helpful, wasn't it? In that situation, it was helpful anyway.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, let us know what you think. Do you believe in yourself or do you have to work on believing in yourself, because sometimes it doesn't come easy? No, it doesn't come easy. Most of the time it doesn't, especially if you haven't been brought up in a culture that really believes in you. And sometimes it can be the other way. If you have been brought up in a culture that believes in you too much, it's too much pressure and then you can't stand it kind of thing you just want to go the other way. Yeah, exactly. So let us know what you think and please do come and comment on apple podcasts and on no, I think. On apple podcasts, you can leave us a lovely review. That would be great, oh yeah, and on spotify, there's actually a comment section so you can comment on there.

Speaker 1:

And, of course, always come and see us on instagram, at get real with the english sisters, and on youtube too, where you can see the video and there's also the podcast. We've got the video. Yeah, the podcast is also. We're always in matching outfits and what we do is the podcast goes on first with the rss feed and then that's audio only and then it's a video. I usually upload that a day later or the same day, depending on how much time I have, and what else.

Speaker 1:

What else? What else? Uh, probably going to be applying for the podcast award soon, so that'll be exciting. The international one, right? Yeah, the international one.

Speaker 1:

And other news for the English sisters. What other news is there? I can't think of anything. Summer is coming. Summer is coming. What does that mean? I don't know. I can't think of it. Oh, come and support us by getting our book Get Real not Get Real Stress-Free in Three Minutes by the English sisters. We should probably write a get real book. Get real would be good. Yeah, get real with the english sister's book. Yeah, never to just sort that. Now. Get real with yourself. Get real with yourself and don't tell yourself lies. You believe in yourself. We're telling you now believe we're your sisters and we're telling you to believe in yourself. Yes, we are your sisters, we're real sisters, but we also want to grow our. We're real sisters, not twins, aren't we? No, we're real sisters, not twins. If you see us on the video, you'll realize it. We're not actually twins. One's taller than the other. Oh, yes, I am taller me. Yes, yes, anyway, lots of love and smiles, as always, and get back. Let's hear from you this week. Yes, bye-bye, bye.

Believing in Yourself
Embracing Change and Personal Growth
Believe in Yourself and Take Action
Importance of Being Kind and Connecting