Balancing Gratitude and Ambition: A Journey to Emotional Well-Being

Can you truly feel grateful while still yearning for more? Absolutely, and we’re here to reassure you that it’s perfectly okay to want more without guilt, as long as it doesn’t lead to hedonism. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of how gratitude can act as the "spice of life," enriching our daily experiences and emotional well-being. We dissect the delicate balance between gratitude and ambition, and dive into the complexities of entitlement and hidden struggles behind seemingly perfect lives. By embracing a mindset of gratitude, even in challenging circumstances, we can build resilience and foster a healthier emotional state for ourselves and those around us.

Imagine missing loved ones even while enjoying your personal experiences—it's more common than you think, and it’s a topic we tackle with empathy and insight. We celebrate the importance of self-awareness and gratitude, recognizing that our complex emotional states can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life. Reflecting on the bond between siblings and the effort our mother put into fostering close relationships, we underscore the significance of family and mutual support. Join us as we express our gratitude for you, our listeners, and relish in the joy of sharing these meaningful conversations.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Gratitude and Ambition
• 9:28 Embracing Gratitude and Self-Acceptance

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What if gratitude was actually the spice of life, which actually really could be the spice of life? It could be, definitely. It could be the sprinkles on the cake, the thing that makes everything better. Yes, because when you're in that state of feeling grateful for something, it is hard to be annoyed, or? But can you still be annoyed and frustrated and grateful at the same time? That's what we're going to be annoyed, or but can you still be like, annoyed and frustrated and grateful at the same time? That's what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode of get real with the english sisters. And it's okay to be grateful and perhaps want more too. Yes, yes, because that could be very inspirational. So it's not like you're saying, well, I'm not grateful for everything that I have in my life at this moment, I love it, I love it and I'm thankful for it and I'm happy to have it, but at the same time, I want more. And is it okay not to feel guilty for wanting more? Yes, so it is okay, I think, to want more. I think so too, and I don't really think we should feel guilty for it either.

Speaker 1: 1:11

No, guilty is a funny thing. Yeah, it's not very helpful. I don't think. No, it's not a helpful emotion. I mean it can be if you've done something wrong, absolutely, and and it can be very helpful to make you realise not to repeat it. Yeah, but in the case of just normal, you know things that I think there's just too much of this guilt going around already. Anyway. Well, maybe too little guilt.

Speaker 1: 1:41

People become like hedonistic and just want everything for themselves. But why should they feel guilty for that? I mean not everything for themselves. They could be not thinking about others and just thinking about themselves all the time, which in the end, makes them feel ungrateful. No, not only ungrateful, but unhappy. Yeah, because if you're not grateful for what you do have, in the end you can have these, these feelings of unsatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness and anger. And anger, yes, because you feel that it's not what kind of like what you deserve. You're not getting what you deserve. But what do you deserve? I mean, where does all this entitlement come from? Why do we look? I think I don't know.

Speaker 1: 2:30

These are very two different discussions here. I think everyone deserves yes, everyone deserves to have be respected. Yes, everyone deserves to, um, to feel okay about themselves and to be accepted for who they are, no matter what religion or what inclination they have. So that's let's just put you know, make that, you know that, that that that is just a given for where I'm coming from. Well, me too, yeah, obviously, um, but I mean sometimes.

Speaker 1: 3:11

What I mean is that sometimes we feel as if, like the next door neighbor again has got everything. They've got the car, they've got the house, they've got this, and why don't I have it? Without realizing the effort that was put in for them to get that in the first place. They might not have had any effort. They might have just been born into a really wealthy family and have had everything given to them. Yeah, but there's still some kind of story going on there that you know we're not aware of, are we? No, we don't know. Perhaps they're suffering, perhaps they're they've been made to be feel guilty about this from their family, or perhaps they have to. They feel as if they owe something. You know they have to perform. Sometimes money is heavy as well, you know, when you're not completely free, whereas you might be just working regularly and you know feeling proud of it as well, do you know? I mean, there's so many facets that we don't see behind those doors either Behind that garden gate.

Speaker 1: 4:09

You know, it's not all what appears to be. It's not all roses, is it? The roses have thorns, and sure they do hurt those thorns as well. So, yes, it's not all roses. I've still got one in my finger from about a week ago. I can't get it out. Yes, exactly. So I mean, it's a tiny thorn, yeah, but it can hurt. Yeah, and it can hurt. So I mean, let's get back to what we were talking about. I'm getting distracted here with the thorns.

Speaker 1: 4:41

Um, it's okay, it's okay to be, to have a thorn and still be grateful for it. Well, of course, I mean, then you're like some kind of spiritual leader. You've got thorns and you're grateful for the misgivings you're given. Well, a lot of people that suffer from like, even have like, serious conditions, health conditions, they do feel as if it's almost a blessing in disguise, because it's made them realise how important life is and how grateful they are to have to spend time with their families and their friends. Well, yeah, I can get that. So that is like if you have a thorn in your finger and you just carry on then and it's making you, it's enriching you, it's giving you more resilience and strength.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Yes, yes, instead of the opposite yes, no, no, that is so true. It's true, isn't it? It can, it can. And if you do think like that, you're obviously going to be able to accept and cope with it better than if you're in a constant anger, because it's normal for you to be in anger at first and denial about whatever. But then if you're in a constant state of why me, why me, why me, why did this happen to me, then obviously it's not going to be helpful for you or for the other people that love you around you, because they can't help you that way. And we have to think that we're not robots either. So we do have these malaises, these illnesses. Yes, we do. We have problems, absolutely lots of problems.

Speaker 1: 6:15

We spice our lives up with gratitude. It can make such a difference, I feel. Oh, yes, it can make an enormous difference. I mean, we were brought up that way, weren't we? To always think well, I'm grateful. To give thanks all the time. Yes, to give thanks, yes, that was very typical in our childhood. It was always, you know, well, let's give thanks to this and let's give thanks for that. No, I mean, I'm saying it so casually, but it has made a massive impact in our lives. Well, it has. Yes, yes, it definitely has. Yeah, really really has. It's always made us so grateful for everything that we have. Yeah, truly so.

Speaker 1: 6:58

But but we still want more. Yes, we still want more. Yeah, we've always wanted more. We've had this like ambition as well. Yeah, to grow to want more, to want, you know I. I mean that's fine, otherwise you turn out okay. You know what. What? Why? Why would you have to feel guilty for that? I don't feel guilty for it. No, for wanting more either and still feeling grateful. So there's two feelings at the same time. Yeah, I know you're proud because you're grateful and you want more. Yeah, and that's okay, it's. You know what we're actually getting at here.

Speaker 1: 7:41

I think more, but I want, maybe. I want, I want more in different areas of my life. But you're grateful for the things you have, but I'm grateful for what I have. But I'm always looking to improve on what I have. Yes, right, because I think, because for me, that makes it doesn't give me a wanting, it gives me, like a sense of Inspiration. Inspiration, yeah, it's a fill, it's a filling the cup, not emptying the cup. No, it's like. For me it's like inspiring to want more. Yeah, for me too, yeah, and that way is. It's not making me feel miserable, no, so, for, like my, for for our career as the English sisters, I want more for for my, for my partnership, for my children. I want to be more loving, more, more caring. I want to make it more enriched, to have richer experiences.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Um, in my fitness journey, I want to be getting fitter and stronger. How much fitter you want to get to? Yeah, you're already doing it every day. I always want to get fitter and stronger. Yeah, yeah, stronger, definitely stronger. I mean, I couldn't start that lawnmower. That's so annoying. Yeah, but they're really me. They are difficult, but it's got that easy. It's got this red button. Don't beat yourself up about that because it doesn't work. You're really strong. I want to be stronger though. Yes, well, so do I, but that doesn't mean we have to be grateful for how strong we are. I mean, I did manage to cut the entire grass, so I'm pretty strong, but I want to start it on my own to be grateful for what how strong we are. I mean, I did manage to cut the entire grass, you know, so I'm pretty strong, but I want to start it on my own. I'm annoyed, and that's despite your allergies and your hair. Yeah, yeah, everything else, yeah, shiitake, that you had all of that. Yeah, despite everything, all right, yeah, okay, be grateful that I managed to cut the grass, but, yes, yes, but still wanting more. I think it's.

Speaker 1: 9:28

It's it's a question of not let's not feel guilty about having different feelings at the same time. Like it's okay for you to miss somebody but, at the same time, enjoy your time without them. So, like you go on a holiday and you're missing. You might be missing your partner, but at the same time, you're having a great time. Yeah, or your children. How many parents miss their children when they leave them for a few days? Yeah, but they might be having fun and that's okay, that's okay. You don't have to beat yourself up for that. No, like for feeling good and and thinking, oh gosh, no, because there is a part of you that does miss them. Yes, and there's so many different parts of you.

Speaker 1: 10:13

I think, yeah, I think that's what we have to understand. We're made up of many different facets and that's what makes us a whole person, and the more we nurture each side of us, the richer we become spiritually, emotionally and probably financially as well. The more we nurture ourselves and our relationships, the more we thrive, and they shouldn't feel guilty about that. No, absolutely not. Yeah, we can allow, we can feel grateful for that and say, well, I have many different. I can feel different emotions about the same thing.

Speaker 1: 10:51

I can still miss the person I love terribly and I'd want them to see that beautiful view, for example, like you're going out somewhere, but at the same time, you can still really love it and enjoy it and enjoy whatever you're doing. So, yes, it's two different things. Yes, and you can still maybe want a life partner, but still enjoy going on holiday by yourself, for instance, or going out to dinner by yourself and just giving yourself. Well, yes, why wouldn't you, you know? Yeah, definitely. So it's like the two kind of go together, don they? They can't be isolated, no, no, they can't be separated. No, I mean, it's the same way. You know.

Speaker 1: 11:36

You can accept yourself and still want to grow. Yes, but accept yourself for the, for who you are right now, with all your weaknesses and your strengths and your insecurities. And your insecurities, yes, so well, I'm a bit insecure at the moment, but I'm grateful that I'm aware of it. I guess you know. I suppose, if you're aware of it, then that's already like what we always say awareness is key, because once you know it, you can really try and do something about it, and actually do it you can. So what do you think? Are you trying to improve? Do you still want more? Are you grateful for what you already have?

Speaker 1: 12:24

I think, if we all think, I think every day, if we're all a little bit more grateful than we already are, it will make us a lot happier and more fulfilled in life, definitely. And happier doesn't necessarily mean smiling Content, though. Yes, it means that lovely peaceful feeling that we have inside that we're just okay. We're just okay, we're just okay. Exactly, it's a lovely feeling, yeah, yeah, that is a lovely feeling, and it's not one to be taken for granted, for that's something to be grateful for as well. Yeah, because it's um, at peace.

Speaker 1: 13:01

It's what everyone says. It's in the little things as well, isn't it? Totally, everybody says that there's a reason, there's a reason for it, there's a reason why, you know, they say take the time to smell the roses. The roses once again, they're coming back into this podcast because they're just, they're a flower and they're everywhere. But if you if you might not necessarily take the time to smell them and enjoy them. What are you thinking? It's a different thing.

Speaker 1: 13:32

I think I've got one in my garden, not one, I've got loads of them, but I picked some and put them in the house. Lovely, that's where I got the thorn from. Oh dear, you touched it. No, you do not touch them. I also got stung by a boss or something with it with that rose. Is that the reason why you got stung? Because I was pruning them and then I picked one and then I got stung. Oh my gosh. But I'm still grateful for having all the beautiful roses in the garden. Yeah, but you planted yes, I did plant them. Anyway, that's gone.

Speaker 1: 14:09

I feel very grateful with my life and I feel grateful for all of you that listen, in all the different countries around the world, and I feel truly blessed. I feel blessed too, and I feel grateful for you sister. Yes, me too, very much, very grateful to have a sister, sister like you. Yes, we do have a very unique and special bond and we're very grateful for that. I feel very grateful to our mom as well.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Okay, we'll always talk about her, but I think she made such a big effort to make us close, to make us like each other. Yeah, to make us like each other. She put this massive effort into it, always making sure we weren't jealous of one another, making sure you were probably not jealous of me because I'm one year younger and so, of course, you were around that extra one year and you're going to be jealous of the baby, even though you were a baby yourself. But that's very common and so, yeah, she made a special effort not to do that. She put in all of the work she could into that she did, for she always made it like we were just exactly the same, on the same level, like twins.

Speaker 1: 15:25

Yes, on your birthday, I was given a gift, so that I would not feel left out my birthday, you were given a gift. So when you woke up, you I remember thinking, yeah, it's Violetta's birthday. It's not like, oh, it's Violetta's birthday, you know, it was right. Yeah, I get a gift too, and and of course, it was a gift that was identical, same to your gift. Yeah, if you got a doll, I got a doll. If you got whatever, normally in those days we were given dolls.

Speaker 1: 15:53

Yeah, they were like these baby dolls, because that's what we loved, we thought we loved it. We were conditioned yeah, once again, but we did happen. I don't know. We were that conditioned because mum did have all cars and because she used to be a she was a childminder and she had little cars yeah, but the way she spoke about those dolls and the way she would make the clothing for the dolls and everything it was, we were heavily conditioned. Come on, let's face it, especially in our time it was little girls would be played with dolls and cooking pots and pans, because when I first got that playdough I went nuts about it. Mum was very forward thinking because she wouldn't let. She would let the boys play with the dolls. She would, yeah, and she would let us play with cars if we wanted to, yes, so she wasn't, no, really like, oh no, you got to play with the dolls, no, no, and she would be very proud of the little boys would cook or use a cooker or in the little doll's house it is.

Speaker 1: 16:47

It is true that mum, being a child minder, she was a nanny. We used to see her doing that so that it to look after little babies. So I guess it was normal for us to mimic that. Yeah, and we like babies a lot as well. Yeah, they were very cute. We saw the cute side of them. Yes, obviously, yeah, so, anyway, that's it. That's it. That's off on a reminiscence, but no, but it's just to say we're grateful for each other and grateful of the way we were brought up.

Speaker 1: 17:19

Parents very much, yeah, for our parents, yeah, and for our pets have taught us so much. Our pets have taught us a lot more than what I would have imagined, because I didn't even think I would like pets that much. No, me neither, because we did grow up with just one cat, yeah, and you know it was a cat that mainly lived outside and, yes, we liked the little cat, but we didn't come in much. I can't even remember petting the cat much. Didn't like the cat much because, no, because he was like very wild, not that wild, the morita, the little, the little black one, I don't know, remember, we can't remember her mom loved her a lot, she had little kittens and that, but I can't remember her as much.

Speaker 1: 18:01

I remember the little kitten we got, tiger, but he was a little boy kitten and in those days they didn't neuter them or anything, so he was very wild and feral and he'd go off all the time? Yeah, he would. Then, once he came back without the eye, gosh, it was all a bit of a A bit traumatic. Yeah, we didn't really enjoy growing up with them. But then, as we were scared of dogs as well, yeah, but then as an adult, when you know, I finally decided to adopt the little dog. That was a big learning curve.

Speaker 1: 18:32

Wow, enriched our life so much. Yeah, now I can't really imagine my life without a dog. Yeah, part of the family they are, yes, so much. I used to think I could never get a dog, because then I'd cry too much when they passed away, and they did cry a lot. Oh, never cry so much. You do cry a lot when they pass away, gosh, and they die so much. It's, but it's. It's wonderful how, you know, allowing love to enter your life can give you so much, so much, even though the pain of losing it has still enriched your life so much, and it's like it's made your heart grow. It does that. It's definitely worth it. I think it's worth it. So do I definitely, if you can. Anyway, that's it for today, so text us and let us know, and please also do vote for us in the women in podcasting awards. From the 1st of august, you'll be able to vote and there will be a link so you can go to it. It'll be easy.

Speaker 1: 19:34

Yes, yes, and what else? What else? Come and see us on instagram, at get real with the english sisters. On facebook Facebook, the English Sisters. And on Twitter, the English Sisters. Oh, big surprise, the English Sisters. English Sisters on Twitter, I think it is. Anyway, also on our website, we do have EnglishSisterscom. So, wherever, wherever you like, come and see us, come and say hi On YouTube too, too. You can see the video version on youtube which we always put up. Yes, that's so true. Yes, yeah. So bye from violetta and yutka, the english sisters. Bye, bye, see you soon.