Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Feeling Anxious? Feel calmer and get much needed anxiety relief! Listen to Get Real with The English Sisters the No. 1 podcast show for mental health that will give you anxiety relief leaving you smiling. Anxiety is on the rise and most of us experience it in some form or other. The English Sisters, Violeta and Jutka Zuggo are clinical hypnotherapists, business women, authors, wives and mother’s of wonderful grown up children! As hosts of their show they chat about real stuff that empowers, excites and inspires well-being! Always looking to share their point of view and expertise on how you can manage your anxiety and mental health so as to enjoy life! Sharing their experiences to help you live a calmer, happier, fuller and more relaxed life. If you are in need of anxiety relief and want to learn how to manage your mental health, follow Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety so as not to miss an episode! New episode weekly every Wednesday!
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
The Power of Mindset: Overcoming Fear and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
Ever felt the icy tendrils of fear creep into your mind, whispering predictions of doom that, somehow, always seem to come true? Embark with us on a revealing exploration of self-fulfilling prophecies and the staggering power of fear to shape our reality. From the anxious golfer who dreads the water hazard only to splash their ball into it, to the worry that a gray cloud spells certain picnic disaster, we dissect the intricate ways our mindset can truly make or break our experiences. Along the way, The English Sisters celebrate the podcast's milestones and warmly extend an invitation for you to become part of our journey, sharing your own stories of fear and triumph.
Flip the script and join us in unlocking the formidable force of positive thought. Ponder with us as we sift through life's challenges, whether it's the foreboding of misfortune on the golf course or the stress of caring for a loved one battling cancer. Peppered with personal narratives, we delve into how dread can not only invite unwanted outcomes but also rob us of seizing moments of joy and progress. Gain insights on the art of awareness in recognizing our fears to keep them from directing our life's script and learn strategies to foster a mental environment where opportunity thrives.
Wrapping up our heartfelt session, we navigate the crucial act of facing down our fears across life's diverse stages, especially within the intricate dance of relationships. Taking cues from 'The Ultimatum' show, we highlight the necessity of honest communication to circumvent the buildup of resentment. We also tackle the everyday anxieties, like those pesky administrative tasks that, left unattended, can close doors to potential paths. Through our shared experiences and candid reflections, we illustrate that tackling fears head-on isn't just courageous—it's the blueprint for a rich and rewarding existence. And remember, our virtual doors are always open for you to continue this dialogue on social platforms, where we foster a community of support and encouragement.
Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety. Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!
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You know, when you're scared of something, when you really fear something, you kind of keep on thinking about it all the time, don't you? Yeah, and it kind of becomes sometimes it actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, doesn't it? That was a mouthful, wasn't it? Yeah, it does. It's because you keep on thinking about the thing that you're scared of and then it actually happens and you think, oh, my god, I knew it. I mean, it could be something as stupid as it's gonna pour this afternoon when I've gone out for a lovely picnic, and then it does pour and you say I knew it, I brought it on. Yeah, well, I mean, in that case, it's a bit silly really, but but, whatever it, where it's not if you live in London, we do have past trauma about that, even though I'm joking about the word trauma, but yes, there's been many a shower. So that's what we're going to be chatting about in this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters. And, exciting news, we can now receive direct texts from you. So all you have to do is in the description, wherever you get your podcast. At the top of the description it says text the show and you can text us and we will be able to answer your questions on the podcast because at the moment there's no direct, you can't answer your text, but we can answer you in the podcast or otherwise. You can get in touch with us on instagram, at get real with english sisters, and we'll youtube wherever you are. Just send us a message, comment.
Speaker 1:We love it and so many of you do listen and follow the podcast. Someone the other day said I watch you online and we never heard of it. When they saw us in real life they said oh my gosh, it's like watching you on the podcast. I've never heard from you. So there's lots of you that listen and obviously enjoy the podcast. So please, you know, do come and say hi, because we really love to hear from you. We really do. It's really that. And also tell a friend because the podcast is growing. It's almost doubled. We've had double the amount of downloads.
Speaker 1:I mean it's thrilling to hear, to hear that it's actually growing, because it is one of our little projects, isn't it this? I mean it's not a little project, it's a big project at the moment and we are investing time in it and um and energy. Yeah, because it makes us think, hope. It makes you think sometimes about what you're getting up to, a lot about our lives, about your mental state of mind. Absolutely. What is this fear thing then? I mean, it's like now that I'm learning to play golf if, when there's a lake, if you fear that your ball's gonna go in the lake, it certainly will go in there. Right, really, yeah. And so they and all the mental coaches say as well do not focus on what you fear. Focus on what you want to have happen. So kind of visualize, if you're talking about golf, seeing that the little ball going exactly where you want it to go. See it in your mind. Stop talking about the water. Next time you're gonna fall in the water. I mean, I work because I'm not good enough, so I'm not that scared of the water. Oh right, it's like you're kind of juicing it.
Speaker 1:A lot of people that are really good at golf, one of their main fears is going in the water, and they bring it on themselves because they think it's going to go in the water this time it's going to go in the water and their body makes in the water yeah, their body and their unconscious mind actually makes that happen. It turns into actions. I mean this is serious stuff, isn't it? I mean, it sounds almost magical. How could this really happen, just because you fear something?
Speaker 1:But to what extent do you have to fear it? Look at hypochondriacs, for instance. When they have, they're always fearing they're going to get ill. And then they get ill, don't they? And they might get something really serious like cancer, god forbid. But how many of us in real life, not in real life how many other people that do not fear these things get that? So is it just? You know? Are you actually ruining your life by just thinking that something bad is going to happen to you or that you fear something?
Speaker 1:Well, look, I think, if something bad, like some kind of illness, genetic mutation, whatever it is, if it's going to happen, it's probably going to happen, because maybe it was in the family or something. So, you know, really, I don't think it's got anything, it's different, but I do think. I mean. You know what you've said about the cancer thing. Do you remember when we had our father with cancer? Yeah, somebody told us be careful, please, because the caretakers are the ones that are often so worried and preoccupied that they themselves very often may get sick with a form of cancer Because their immune system goes down. Yes, yeah, and I remember thinking about that and thinking well, you know, that's something you could. We have to be careful and make sure we de-stress as well and not just take it all on. So, yeah, I could have been, I think.
Speaker 1:Also, on a lighter note, I think that if you're fearing whatever, um like even that it's going to rain that afternoon, you know you might not even go out, you might just stay in and say, oh, I'm not even going to bother. Of course my luck, trust my luck. How annoying it's going to rain today. And then it might not even rain, it might be just a few drops or maybe, yeah, just a one, two drops, literally a tree for a second, and then you're back out and you miss the time of your life and a laugh and whatever, being with friends, socialising, because of that, and you could have met the man or woman of your life.
Speaker 1:Why is it always when it rains? You're supposed to meet the man and your woman? Because they say that in the film? Yeah, but do you think that? I mean, it's always like that, isn't it? It always has to be raining Because that's when the love of your life appears, because it appears under an umbrella and wet and ragged, and then they come to save you.
Speaker 1:What is this rain thing? It's never, I mean, I don't think anything nice has really happened to me in the rain before. I don't think Something so really happened to me in the rain before I don't think Something so romantic that's happened in the rain. Come on, I'm not happy about that, not really. No, I mean, I guess Now we live in Italy so we don't really. You know people, when it rains here sometimes you really do have to be careful. Well, here they say when it rains, don't go out. Yeah, it can be quite, it can get quite intense, even though it's a europe, I mean, you wouldn't think it would get. But lately it's going a bit like that in london now as well. Really, the rainfalls, floods, well, anyway, yes.
Speaker 1:So going back to this thing, do you think that we have to be more aware of what we kind of like processing in our mind and you know we might not be aware that we're frightened of something, but we're always. I bet you, if you're frightened of your next promotion, you'll never get it. Well, I think if you're, if you're frightened of it, it means that you won't take the necessary actions. You won't fill in the application, you won't talk to your boss about it. You won't you the application, you won't talk to your boss about it, you won't, you're frightened of it. That's. It's something that you need. It won't happen. Probably you have to get out there and say, okay, I'm not going to be, I'll be okay by the time I get there, I'll be able to do it. Yeah, what about if you're frightened of, like, taking your exams or something? I was terrified of taking my exams, but in the end I went, I still, I still got up and I put the alarm on and I was there at the time of the exams.
Speaker 1:If you're so scared because you're, you physically become ill and you sort of like, get panic attacks, make yourself ill or you get a panic attack, then, yeah, and that, yeah, it's a horrible vicious circle. What, what can we say to you to give you a tip so that that doesn't happen? Become more aware of what's going on in your head and mind, your mental state, become more aware, realize that, what you're fearful of, and and try and see in a different light as to say, or try and break it down, ask. You can ask yourself what's the worst thing that would happen. If so, what's the worst thing that would happen? If I asked for that promotion? Yeah, you could get rejected. Yeah, your boss might snub you and reject you.
Speaker 1:Who do you think you are to ask for a promotion, which is very unlikely, but I mean that's the worst thing that could happen. Do you know what? I bet you? Afterwards they'll go away and say, oh, that person's got, you know, they're feisty. They're feisty, you know, like in the sense that they've got. They're determined, aren't they? They're pretty assertive, though I mean, they've got guts, kind of coming to me, they're only like junior or whatever, even if you're senior and you're asking for one. Well, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1:A lot of people that, like they get to a plateau in their lives and they think I've had enough now, like I've had enough and I fear the rest. You know why should I have to put myself out of my comfort zone to want to get something that's better for me and for my family? Probably when I'm okay, when I'm okay now, yeah, well, do you think they should? Yeah, because they should go for it. Because it's just low self-esteem in the end and you're fearing something that's not even it's like fearing something that's not even it's like. It's like fearing something that's not really it's especially it's not real, especially if you want, especially if you could, if you kind of really want to do it secretly. Obviously, if it's something that you, you fear because it's something you would never want to do, you will know. If you want to do it, because all you, all you have to do is ask yourself the question if I was perfectly capable of doing that job, would I want to do it? And they handed it on a plate, would I say, yeah, I'm capable of doing that.
Speaker 1:What about in life, you know, in other realms of our lives, not just business? How about in relationships? Well, relationships are the same. You have to ask for what you want and not be frightened. Yeah, so if you want, if you secretly want to get married, but you're fearful of that, you're, the partner may not be ready for the commitment, for example, something like that.
Speaker 1:There's that program I'm half watching now, while I'm doing, while I'm working. Oh, it's give it's all called the ultimatum, or something that you have to. You have to just speak. Couples that have been together for ages and one of them isn't proposing right? They say I'm giving you an ultimatum now and you have to come and propose, otherwise I'm going to have they have like a trial managed with someone else in the program. Right, okay, and so, because that could happen a lot of times, one of you could be ready either for, perhaps, parenthood or moving ahead. You know, you really are ready for moving ahead. I think you should. You should ask for it me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because if you don't ask for it, then in the end what's going to happen is that you're going to have this fear and resentment just building up inside you and it's going to ruin the relationship. It's going to fester. Why it's going to fester? Yeah, why, absolutely yeah. And and it's no good, is it? No, no, no, because it'll just fester in there, causing trouble. It causes a lot of trouble. So, definitely, definitely, think about that. So it's work and relationships.
Speaker 1:What else are we fearful of in our lives? Everything, I think. At first we're like scared of everything. Everybody is. We're all scaredy cats, we're feeling our forms. Those are people don't like doing that. Yeah, right, they're just simple things. I get kind of scared of that as well. Yeah, I hate that sometimes. All these forms, you have to do it, don't you do certain things for everything. Basically, if you don't do it, then you're missing out as well. You can be missing out on loads of opportunities or benefits, a passport form, for example, then you can't travel. You can't travel. I mean it's intense, those passport forms. They are intense. I mean this, I mean a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:Say, if you are really, you know, if you are frightened, there's also you can also ask for help. You don't have to do everything on your own. No, because you know, I remember I asked your husband for help. Yeah, ask for help, so get someone to help you, yeah, but there will be like obstacles. You know nothing's ever that everything is full of challenges. Life is full of challenges. You've, yeah, I mean you, I, you, just you.
Speaker 1:You kind of, when you're a kid, you you kind of think that, like, school is your challenge, and then once you're over that, then it's kind of and it's finished, yeah, but it's not. That's when it all starts. That's well, it just continues. It just continues in a different format. You know, when you're at school, you have all your school challenges and when you grow up, it's got all your different other kind of challenges. It's just really one challenge after another and if you're fearful, you can't really get to have that rich, full life.
Speaker 1:Yes, because your life is limited. It's limited by fear of like what we were saying before filling up a passport, getting on a plane, trying out something new, perhaps because you've never done it before. Yeah, that you're scared. You're scared of failure. Guitar lessons who's ever held a guitar before? I'm gonna, I'm gonna fail at this. I'm gonna look stupid. Yeah, the fear of looking stupid at something. You know, because everyone else is good at it, like you. You started learning golf. I was terrified. I mean, come on, you were, I was, you were terrified of what? Looking foolish, looking foolish.
Speaker 1:Everyone watches you. Yeah, they kind of watch, you don't? I came to see you on saturday. I mean, it was intense, not because they're mean or anything, because that's what you're supposed to do, you're. It's polite to watch, really. Yeah, when you haven't been used to being watched like that. Yeah, I know we do the podcast and everything, but, but it's different. Yeah, but we can't see you watching us. No, we're just alone in a room, aren't we? And it's watching a job. But if we saw all those people, if we saw you, obviously we would love to see you in person and we would be, but we would be a little bit scared, we would have a little bit of stage.
Speaker 1:What about the first time we did public speaking? I mean that was terrifying. What was that group called that we joined? Um, the famous group it's I can't remember now, but it's the public speaking group the, yeah, famous one. If you've done public speaking you'll know which one it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you just start off by like having to talk for like what was it? One minute? It was like three minutes, three minutes. God, I remember being terrified. You were more scared than me. I was so scared and I was thinking this is not. I mean there was only 30 people in a room. I know, I thought this is just not. My heart it was pounding. I mean, it was the un group, so it was pretty. Okay, it was a un group, yeah, but it was a bit intense. I mean, yeah, but really it was a room because everyone there's learning, they're all doing their little presentations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to learn how to master the art of public speaking, you shouldn't really have to be scared. It's supposed to be a welcoming environment where you can all talk and do your little present. Yeah, but my heart didn't know that my heart was pounding, I thought it was gonna fall out of my chest. Yeah, I thought I feel like some kind of really I'm. This is ridiculous.
Speaker 1:But the more I started speaking, you felt bad the calmer I began to feel. And obviously we did a speech and it was together, so we kind of like ping-ponged off each other. I said something, violetta said something, and I got calmer the more I, you know, verbalized whatever the speech was about. I can't remember. Yeah, but sometimes it's harder when it's two of you because you have to have all the pause. I mean, we're used to it. Yeah, no, it is quite hard if you're doing, you know, public speaking with someone else. Sometimes it can be more difficult as well, because you have to wait for the other person to finish talking, yes, and, and then they might throw you off your game a minute because you might not realize yeah, no, well, yeah, which I would never do, no, no. But I mean I remember being so scared of that, but then if I'd never done that, I would have never known that I could do it, and then we would have never been up on other stages that we've been through in our lives, when we've done public presentations and we would have missed out on those experiences that's so many because of the fit. I still sometimes, oh God, I never want to do that again. One of your letters says there's a chance to do Because the natural tendency is not to want to do these things unless you're so used to doing them, like every week or something. Yeah, yeah, or every three weeks. We're not that used to them but still would probably still think, oh, but I would do it.
Speaker 1:Public fear is public speaking. The number one fear is public speaking about me. Yeah, that's why I was speaking about it. It's not exactly. You know, it's a common thing. It's a common thing that most people do experience. Yeah, so true, so true. But I think we've got to become aware of the things that we're. We became like at a certain point.
Speaker 1:I remember when we started our career we just said, okay, if we're frightened of that, we're going to do it. That's it. We have to do it because we're scared of it. Do you remember when we said, no, I don't want to? It says because we're comfortable doing this right now. We started off with our hypnosis videos. Then we said because we're so comfortable doing this, we're gonna have to. We had to change and do something else. And so we had those interviews where we would they were called chat views and we would interview other speakers and other people, and that was scary. And I remember thinking, oh god, that's scary. We have to talk, because we had all the technological challenges back in the day yes, of if the internet was going to work, of how to use you know, that was many years ago how to record it. I mean, it's like 15 years ago now, it was a long time ago and there was other challenges to be had as well. Yeah, and then we were so frightened of it.
Speaker 1:And then I remember thinking, well, if our mantra is, from now on, if we're scared of it, do it. Well then in the end, but I wouldn't dive off a cliff when I'm terrified of that. No, not that like from two jumping. No, no, oh no, I wouldn't do that. I'm scared of that. No, I wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1:No, no, even though I was listening to someone on a podcast say that if it hadn't been for her friends or her partner or something that made her do this, you know that thing where you jump off the plane like skydiving. Oh, do you know? I actually had a dream about the fact that I was gliding. You know those things where you go on those, yeah, we'll say skydiving, but you go. No, I don't know how, I just know that I was gliding, but and I was sort of like with somebody else, they were helping me and I was thinking, wow, I can do this. It was amazing. Maybe you would like to do that. Yeah, I don't know about the jumping off the airplane thing, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Anyway, she had to get on a plane and then I think she had to. I think it was some kind of skydiving or something, I'm not sure. But anyway, what she said was the most terrifying, horrible experience for her. When she realised she had to do it, because I think she signed up for something I don't know. Yeah, and in the end, in the end, it turned out. She's so passionate about it now and it's become part of her life. Can you believe this? She absolutely loves and adores it. So there you go. And she was terrified and really annoyed at first. So there you go.
Speaker 1:I mean, who knows, sometimes, as long as your life is not at risk, In that case, I don't know how risky that is. Well, it is risky, but I mean loads of people do it. I case, I don't know how risky that is well, it is risky, but I mean loads of people do it. I suppose it's the same as skiing or something else. There are other dangerous things. Riding a horse is dangerous, yeah, people are doing all the time exactly um, yeah, but obviously yeah, so to.
Speaker 1:So the advice is perhaps welcome. Maybe what you're frightened of is Also something that you should be embracing, yeah, and if you're frightened of something like when we started the podcast of failing and we started the whole discussion by saying if you're frightened of that happening, don't think about the negative outcome, think about the positive, think about the positive, visualize the best thing that could happen. Exactly what's the best thing that can happen? If I do this, first of all, I'm going to feel really good about myself because I've done it and I've learned something new. Yeah, then secondly, maybe other people are appreciated too. And thirdly, okay, I could be get some kind of rejection from this. Whatever it is, I could be. You know, I could receive a no, but a no is just a possible yes in the future. It's a no, not yet, it could be not yet, it could be not a definite no. So who knows? And it could be a no that's in the future, like if it is a promotion, for instance, they could keep you in mind for the next time there's a promotion coming up, yeah, so it's a not yet. Really, if you can hear instead of no, it's not yet, Next time, six months time, you can go ahead again, you know, and go for it and think about the best possible outcome.
Speaker 1:And in everyday life, if you think about the best possible outcome and in everyday life, if you think about the best possible outcome that can happen for your day, it's already setting you up for your day in a really good way, absolutely. Do you remember? You had one of your, your nieces, I think from your husband's part, that she would actually, every time she would go to a restaurant or somewhere and it was always packed she would always say, oh no, I can find parking. Oh yeah, I'll find parking. I remember you telling me and she would always find parking. Yeah, because it turns out she parks like half an hour away. I found out that now you're joking really, and she just walks. It all right, but there you go. Her mindset is never mind, never mind, yeah, fine, yeah, you can go, we, she still goes. Yeah, she's still, she's still. She still used to go all the time to wherever she wanted to go. Doesn't bother about no. No, there you go. So your life is more open. Yes, because you don't just say to as well, wouldn't you? Yeah, you don't just say You'd be fitter as well, wouldn't you? Yeah, you don't just say no, it's Sunday, I can't go to that event because it's going to be packed. Sure, sure, she'll park miles away and walk in Exactly. So, there you go.
Speaker 1:So do send us a text, or come and join us on Instagram, at Get Real With the English Sisters, or on YouTube, youtube. Subscribe to our youtube channel, which is growing too, and you can also listen to the podcast there via the r r s s, the rss feed, or there's also the video which we upload a couple of days later, so you can see us in person and come and say hi there too. Yeah, lovely to see you. Yeah, let us know what you, yeah, what you're fearful of. Text us, what you're frightened of and what you're fearful of, what's stopping you from maybe taking that next step. That's going to be really helpful to you. Absolutely lots of love and smiles from the english sisters. Bye.
