Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety

Reliability: Your Secret Superpower

The English Sisters - Violeta & Jutka Zuggo Episode 138

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Can reliability really be your superpower? Join us on "Get Real with the English Sisters" this week as we uncover how this essential soft skill can transform your life. Learn how being reliable not only builds self-confidence and reduces anxiety but also fosters a sense of control and commitment. Through our personal stories, we expose the negative consequences of being unreliable and highlight the importance of consistency in both personal and professional realms. You’ll hear how our dedication to consistently bringing you this podcast has been a game-changer, illustrating the profound impact of reliability.

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Speaker 1:

Being reliable, yes, and how that can really have a super good impact on your life and on the lives of others. It's a bit like having a superpower if you're reliable. Yes, it is. It's one of those soft skills that really should be. You know, it's Commended, it's a brilliant skill to have and to learn, and that's what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters. So happy you joined us. Thank you for all your support.

Speaker 1:

Yes, being reliable, yeah, I mean we're reliable, aren't we? We come up with this podcast every week. Come snow, come rain? Yes, definitely, and we do our best to make sure. Like I was thinking, you know we might not make it this week, but we've managed it. Yes, and that you know that does mean being reliable, because being reliable, you know it can be for a simple appointment, or you know you're just to make it, or just making it in time, or to do what you say you're going to do. Yeah, so we've committed to this and we're doing it.

Speaker 1:

But obviously sometimes you can't, you can't do it, so you shouldn't beat yourself up if you can't or you have to, you know. No, not not go or not do something. But in general, I think if you can be reliable, it'll give you a lot of self-confidence in other areas of your life. Absolutely, because it means you're reliable to yourself, exactly so. If you're not reliable, you know, to make it for something you say you're going to do, then how can you be reliable, say to start a fitness program or to decide to shed a few extra pounds? How can you be reliable to yourself? And you know that? So it makes you feel anxious and uncertain about that? Yeah, so how can you feel as if you have no control of yourself? Yes, because you say you're going to do something and then you flake at the last minute. Yeah, and you don't exactly. So that gives you and others, obviously, especially if you're going to be meeting with others.

Speaker 1:

You know, I remember we had that friend, you remember she would say meet you there at the coffee place at 11. She was never there at 11, no, she'd always be half an hour late, half an hour, one hour, or not come, or just not turn up. No, with no, you know, no, no excuse. And me being the reliable person I am, and you as well, I would always be there on time. Yeah, I suppose she thought, because there's two of us, it didn't matter if she didn't turn up. Well, we made the effort, yeah, we did. We made the effort to get out the house To go there, get to get out the house to go there, get dressed yeah, go there, etc. Etc. So, yes, that that made me think of her like what you were using that word flaky, like not a reliable person, not somebody that I would count on, say, if I needed so, imagine in the workplace.

Speaker 1:

In the workplace, reliable people are. Employees are one of you know. They're highly, highly valued because they're good at the thing they do and then they'll do it on time, and so I mean they're a precious resource to any company they are, but you're also a precious resource to yourself if you can do things. I think that's what's the most important thing is because you think it's to benefit others, but really you're benefiting yourself by being reliable. Yeah, so like it's like okay, you know, I, if you don't, if you don't, you know, if you can't rely on yourself for doing something that you said you're going to do, yeah, then that does question other areas of your life, doesn't it? It does, and it can make you feel anxious.

Speaker 1:

So if you're somebody that's not good at being reliable and you haven't developed this skill? Yeah, because it's a skill, isn't it? It's a skill and sometimes it's taught as well, because our parents, for instance, were very reliable. If they said they were going to do something, it was true, they would do it. Yeah, but how many parents have we seen that say they're going to do something with their kids, oh, I'll take you there tomorrow, I'll take you to the park tomorrow then they never do it. So they just flake on their kids. They do, yeah, and they just think it's normal and they just think it's because the child has like a short memory or something. I mean they definitely, they definitely do not. I mean, you know, obviously, maybe if they're five months old and you say, tomorrow I'm taking you to see your little friend, and then obviously that's a different case. But however, if they're older, they are certainly going to know what you promised and they're going to know it did not turn out. You know the way they planned and they can learn those kind of behaviors. They will learn to model that and to think it's okay not to be reliable and not to, you know, not to go ahead with what was said and this. Obviously, it's okay if it happens. Once you've got some problem happen. You know you can't do it today, but we'll program it for the next week or something. We're not being. You know, there's always that certain amount of flexibility in life that's required. Yes, the balance once again.

Speaker 1:

However, in most cases, I think you can learn to be reliable to yourself by taking very small steps. But how do you learn to be reliable? Let's say you've've, the doctor has told you, for example, you're supposed to be drinking two liters of water a day. Yeah, let's see, get that done. You know how do you get it done. You can help yourself, can't you? By measuring it. You can measure it, yeah, or you could buy yourself, you know, even one of those cheap water bottles, or just keep it there, like measured, somewhere in your workplace where you can see and think right, that's it. You get through your first liter and then you go to your second liter and then what are you laughing at? That's what I've got to do. Yeah, I do it and I find I'm reliable. You know, I tick it off. I have to do it. You have to do it as well.

Speaker 1:

So, so okay, it's probably good for most of you, you know people out there so you can say, okay, I can commit to that. You commit to small things the same way you commit to, you know, washing your face in the morning. But you start with small stuff, don't you? Yes, that's right. You start and then don't like, don't sabotage yourself by saying, make it too difficult by saying to a friend, yeah, sure, I'll meet you on thursday, when you know, fine, well, that on thursday after work you're going to be absolutely exhausted and you won't want to go. So how can you? Well, you, what you do is you don't know, you, don't you either plan ahead and make sure you're not exhausted, or you say to that friend, no, let's meet on a saturday, when I know I, you know, I've had time to rest in the morning, or whatever.

Speaker 1:

The problem is that a lot of people that are typically not that reliable are not very good about thinking ahead about how they're going to be feeling. I'm thinking of my husband, for example. He is definitely reliable in lots of areas of his life, but there's one thing like planning ahead and saying, oh, I'll meet you, like like he said to you know, do you remember that day? He said, I said we'll see you Sunday afternoon and I knew it wouldn't happen because he had tons of work to do. I knew he had you know, we have our own business, family business as well and I knew he had loads of admin and paperwork to do and I thought why is he telling Violetta? You know that we're gonna go there and play games. What was it? These, these cards? Yeah, he said, yeah, we'll play games on Sunday afternoon.

Speaker 1:

I looked at him and I thought are you sure that? You know? You? There's no way in hell you're gonna get all that stuff done that you need to be taking to to the accountant for monday, yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course, come sunday at one, two o'clock. Oh gosh, I'm not going to make it. There's so much paperwork. Can you just call it off? Oh gosh, I'm not going to make it. I don't like calling things off once you know they've been said because, like what you know we said before their expectation, people are expecting you, family, friends. They've planned their day in their life that is special, yes, because days are special in each person, each. So if you have respect for that, then you understand how you know, changing plans or just being flaky can hurt people. Yeah, so you did come in the end. In the end we convinced no. I said no, darling, you know. You said you want to do this and I actually said to you, in front of your letter and her husband and her family, I said do you think you're going to be able to make it on time? And you said yes, so now we're gonna have to.

Speaker 1:

What happens to your hubby is that he, he feels like he didn't want to say goodbye on saturday night because my daughter, our daughter's leaving maybe, and so he said no, no, to make it like seem softer for him. He'll say no, no, we'll meet tomorrow and we'll play games. Yeah, as she, my daughter, said I bet you, uncle jojo, doesn't come. Yeah, there you go. But I and I said, well, he might not because he might be busy, but let's see. But I think they he was really convinced that he wanted to come, yeah, and, and so I said they might come. But then obviously I mean, when I wrote to you and you said you were coming, we were quite surprised. Well, yes, that's because because of me, because he was saying what I can't remember. I go, yes, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So that's the kind of personality type that he can never seem to think ahead of how he's going to be feeling or he has no concern for that in, I don't think. I think it's like what you say. He doesn't. Actually, it's not good that he didn't want to hurt us a day before by saying goodbye because he felt as if it was like too harsh because then he's not going to see you know, see my daughter for ages. But then he doesn't think ahead and say, well, if I don't go the next day, they're going to feel bad about it because they plan their day. He doesn't go that far ahead to think that, like what you said, you're're letting. You're actually letting people down. You do because they plan their day.

Speaker 1:

Yes, whether this was a family like a personality trait, yes, I think that if you're someone like that, you should maybe work on that, because you will let your friends and family down. If you said you're going and then you don't go because they, they have planned their day around you, they do plan their day. Everybody does, because otherwise we would get nothing done. You all have to plan your day. You have to think okay, at three o'clock I'm going to be meeting so and so or whatever it is you're going to be doing you plan. You expect, if you're going to have people home, you might have gone shopping and bought food for them. Yeah, I mean, come on, there are lots of things to take into consideration. So, yeah, I think being reliable is also being respectful and but I can understand why, if you are like my husband, who I love dearly, I can totally understand where you're coming from and but I think you know, if you're listening to this, maybe you can think, oh yeah, maybe I do that sometimes. You know, and try and just have a thought about it next time you plan something with somebody, because you know it's good, it's good, it's good to be reliable, it's good to start being. It's one of those valuable skills to have in your life. Yes, it's super valuable skill. I mean just be reliable.

Speaker 1:

Like the doctor says, you've got to take certain meds. Oh, that, not only the water, but look, let's think about blood pressure medication. You're reliable to yourself because you, you know you take it at the certain time you're supposed to be taking it. Yeah, whatever this is, you know. Yeah, it goes into so many areas, doesn't it so many? You've got to have a tooth out. You have to have your antibiotic. You're reliable to yourself to take it this time and that time. Any age of your life. It doesn't necessarily mean you know. Yeah, it really does go into every aspect of your working life, your personal life. You've got kids, all ages. Yeah, even when you're little, when you're young, you're at school or whatever university, definitely showing up to your lectures, showing up, you know, giving your essays in on time, and it all.

Speaker 1:

It all starts with being reliable to yourself, doesn't it saying I'm going to put my alarm on and I will get up at that time? Yeah, I will do this because you get up within five minutes. Yeah, because I am going to start to be a reliable person from now on, because, see, the, the rippling effect of being unreliable is devastating. Yeah, to your own life. So much anxiety and grief, a lot of grief and a lot to your life and to others, to others, yeah, and then miss out. People miss out on your company as well. If you flake on them at the last minute, you could miss out on love, meeting somebody you know, whoever it is, because you, you're not being reliable to yourself. So so, let's, let's get on that real being. I can't even say the word no. Okay, let us know what you think.

Speaker 1:

Remember, this podcast, get Real with the English Sisters, is also on YouTube. Come and say hi on Spotify. You can leave us a comment and you can also text the show directly. Oh, yes, so we will see the text. Yeah, lots of love and smiles from the English Sisters. Bye for now.

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