Embracing Adulthood: Balancing Maturity, Curiosity, and Self-Expression

What does it truly mean to be a grown-up? Let's unravel this complex journey together and explore the subtleties of adulthood. We promise you'll walk away with a richer understanding of self-awareness, responsibility, and the impact we have on others. Our conversation ventures into the soul of maturity, highlighting how maintaining a childlike enthusiasm can enhance our adult lives, especially through our interactions with children and pets. We confront societal pressures to maintain a youthful appearance and emphasize the profound mind-body connection, reminding us how emotions can manifest physically, as seen in broken heart syndrome.

As we navigate the path to adulthood, we spotlight the concept of "adulting" and the nuances of personal growth and maturity. Our discussion reflects on the balance between independence and parental influence, acknowledging how certain childlike behaviors persist into adulthood. We dive into the challenges of achieving financial independence today and its impact on maturity. Fashion emerges as a unique lens to define our maturity, advocating for personal taste at any age. Ultimately, we celebrate the freedom to embrace both our grown-up selves and our inner child, urging you to wear what makes you feel good and to cherish that playful curiosity that keeps life joyous.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Chapters

• 0:00 What It Means to Be Grown-Up
• 10:13 Journey to Adulthood and Responsibility
• 19:01 Defining Adulthood Through Fashion

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Growing up, being grown up. What does it mean? What does it mean? We should know, we're certainly grown up, and what I can tell you is that growing up is certainly more than just the ageing process, isn't it? I think so, yeah, it's not really to do about age Well, it does have to do with age as well, but it's. I don't think so, because I meet people that like a 60 and they, you know, they don't act grown up at all. They're so totally irresponsible, and that's true, like I don't know, like you wouldn't say they were like real grown-ups. For what we? A real grown-up is someone that takes care of themselves and others Right, takes responsibility for their actions, kind of, and is self-aware as well of what you know, the effect that they have on other people. So they're not just living in their own bubble, they know how they make people feel. Well, that's a big one. Yeah, definitely. So that is what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode of get real with the english sisters. And, of course, there's a famous peter pan that never wanted to grow up. And there you go, yeah, and I think in some respects, I, I, am a grown-up.

Speaker 1: 1:21

Of course, you know we've had children. Oh, yes, we're definitely grown. Not that having children defines you being grown up. No, I think when you have children, though, you see yourself through their eyes, you like, you like regress back into when you were little and you kind of grow up again through them, if you know what I mean. That's an interesting way of putting it. Yeah, because you relive everything Like you have to. You play again, for instance, because you play with them. Yes, yeah, you remember that you used to play certain things and then you play it again and you can find that childlike enthusiasm within your own inner child. Yeah, you don't have to have children for that. No, you can. Of course, there's many ways in which you can discover that playful element. A lot of the times, it's with pets as well. Pets the same. Well, they like children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see how they play with a little cardboard box or something and you can become enchanted by that as well. But, yeah, definitely the whole thing is today.

Speaker 1: 2:28

I think you know we talk about ageing a lot. You know, and you don't want to age and trying to keep yourself looking young and keeping young. But, yeah, but keeping yourself young doesn't mean that you're not grown up. Exactly that's where there's the difference. I mean they say young at heart, don't they?

Speaker 1: 2:51

Yes, I think there's these reasons why these expressions exist. Yes, because young at heart means, yes, you're grown up and you're responsible. But you also have that childlike enthusiasm within you and curiosity that children have. Yes, yes, and you, you, you haven't hardened and become cynical, bitter, yes, and sarcastic and that's sort of like you think, oh, when? When I see a grown-up like that, I think, oh dear, you know that's that, that's a hardened soul in there. You know it's like there's. You know the heart's got like a coconut shell, it's, there's something that hasn't quite, you know, gone, gone, not the way it should have.

Speaker 1: 3:39

But you know certain things in life can make you hard. Of course, you know grief, yes, there's lots of things that can cause. I mean, I'm just making me think about it because it's actually a syndrome called the broken heart syndrome, where you can actually medical, where you can actually apparently die. I mean this is just something I saw on a fiction in television, but I've heard about it. I mean I've, it's like two, one of these, you know these doctor fiction things really famous like gray's anatomy and stuff like and the resident.

Speaker 1: 4:16

Yeah, and there was this one episode where this person came in with this broken heart syndrome and I, I didn't actually. No, they have got, you have got physical symptoms when you have a broken heart syndrome. And I, I didn't actually. No, they have got, you have got physical symptoms when you have a broken heart. Yes, of course, because I mean we can't really separate our minds and bodies. I don't care what anyone says, no matter how much we try. Yeah, we're one, aren't we? We are one.

Speaker 1: 4:38

We're going to be holding a lot of tension and upset from something it's going to. We're obviously going to feel it in our bodies in some way, either in back pain or headaches, or you're clenching your teeth, or you you get tummy aches, you know, high blood pressure, whatever it's gonna all come out, isn't it? Yeah, it's. It's actually very, it's very ridiculous when you're thinking of just treating the symptom without understanding how the mind is Exactly. It's quite ridiculous.

Speaker 1: 5:07

That's not very grown up, no, I mean, you go to a doctor and you say, oh, I've got this. But hey, you know, you've got to think, well, how's the rest of your life going? You can't just treat the acid reflux, you know, maybe there are like what you were saying. You know there's lots of other areas in your life that are giving you anxiety and you might not realise it, because you remember that time that you had acid reflux. Oh, that's why I said it. And when the doctors said it, you said no, I'm not stressed, no, I'm fine. And yet you were actually and they said I was super stressed. Is there anything stressful going Well? She asked me that and you said no, not really.

Speaker 1: 5:42

But then you started thinking about it and there was a whole load of stuff, there was tons of stuff, and I thought, gosh, it's amazing how I just sort of Because sometimes you can't feel it, can you? You don't, you have the symptom but you think you're fine, you don't actually feel Because it wasn't sort of I mean it was, but I wasn't like really you weren't that aware of, I wasn't that aware of it or really really freaked out. I mean I didn't kind of realize the massive impact it would have actually had on our family, probably if I'd seen it, you know, in the future. But yeah, it was pretty bad, my acid reflux at the time. Yeah, and perhaps if I'd when, when she actually did ask me that question, it made me think about it. But, yes, so all of this.

Speaker 1: 6:31

But you mean, and now you see a lot of phenomena of, like, grown-up children going back to live with their parents again and like, like, we had that. You know, we had that friend that you were telling me about. Yes, the daughter's come back now when she's in her 40s. Well, she's 43. Yeah, and she's moved back home. I know that, I don't know, with the excuse that she's going to look after her so-called elderly, grown-up parents. But they're not that. No, I mean, they're both in their. I think one is in their early 60s and the other, the mother, is like she's like our age. I mean, I'm 57, now I'm going to be 58. Yeah, so I mean we don't consider them elderly just yet. No, not just yet. And so, yeah, he was telling us oh my gosh, my daughter's coming back home. And you know that was that.

Speaker 1: 7:26

That's not that common, though, surely is it? I think it is now, yeah, yeah, I think it's getting more and more common as people are also, with the housing crisis and everything, people are struggling more financially and so they're thinking it's quite nice to move back in with your parents. I mean, for me, that would have been horrific. Yes, for us it would have been, because we're very independent. No, no, no, no, not from our generation, definitely not. But I think things are changing now. They're finding it quite cushy just to be back with mummy and daddy.

Speaker 1: 7:56

So what are you saying? I'm saying maybe some people don't really want to grow up that much, because I think also, growing up I think you have grown up it's like taking care of yourself and of your, wherever you live, of your own food and your own shopping. Exactly, yeah, you know, taking responsibility for your health, for your bills, for your financial situation, for your love life, not just blaming others. Yeah, it's not just about being, um, I don't know. It's not just about being serious. People think grown-ups are serious. Well, when we were little, I used to think grown-ups were serious, but now that we have officially grown up, we see that they're not. They're not.

Speaker 1: 8:42

There's a lot of people that aren't that grown up. Some people even manifest very childish behaviours. That one time you said that the owner of a massive company was hiding under his desk because someone came in. I remember you told me that story one day. Gosh, yeah, he was hiding under his desk so as not to be seen so as not to be seen. I mean, that's what you would consider a child would do. I remember when we were little little, we would run up the stairs if anyone was coming that we didn't want to see. Yes, yeah, yeah, because because the fact that he had this instinct to hide it's like, yes, very, very childlike and also very well, yeah, it's, it's very not grown-uppy. If we want to say because it's, yes, I mean that was grown up, because a grown-up would just say hello, can I help you? And yet he certainly was a grown-up by definition, over 50 or something you know. So, definitely, we've also had that. Yeah, I've.

Speaker 1: 9:46

I'm remembering other cases with um, one of our publishers, once as well, and there are very many different occasions. It does happen a lot, it does indeed. So, yes, that was quite unusual as well. That circumstance, do you remember? We were rather surprised by that. That circumstance, do you remember? We were rather surprised by that.

Speaker 1: 10:13

So there are certain behaviors that grown-ups, can you know, adopt that very childlike, yeah, and it makes you wonder why, what happens to that person? Why is it that they don't want to take, yeah, responsibility, yeah, and, and it's it's sometimes, you know they do. People do behave like a child when you would think, hey, what's? You know that kind of what's going on you're supposed to be grown up and mature about this or people that lose their temper very quickly and that very that they have like childlike tantrums, yeah, throwing stuff around, yeah, and you think, goodness me, what aren't you the ceo of this? You know this business? What on earth is going on? Yes, you can see these things. Does that mean that they're not grown up or does it mean that they just have some struggling?

Speaker 1: 11:03

Yeah, perhaps all of us have adulting. It's called adulting. There was, I think there's, a program where they said you're an actual adult. You know, you're supposed to become an adult when you're over 18, at least in New York. I think that's not true, is it? It's an ongoing process. It's an ongoing process. I think it's a lifelong thing really. Yeah, you can be continuously growing up, every day.

Speaker 1: 11:29

I think you need help as well with it To grow up. Well, you definitely need help growing up. You need a whole community, and you know they used to say that you had to be pushed out of the nest. Children had to be like pushed out of the nest In order to grow. In order to grow, because sometimes you know, children don't want to be, they don't want to go and grow up because it's hard. No, it's hard, it's tough, definitely, yeah, they don't want to go and grow up because it's hard. No, it's hard, it's tough, definitely, yeah, it's tough.

Speaker 1: 12:04

But then there are so many rewards and and when you actually it helps your self-esteem, doesn't it? Once you actually manage to manage to overcome, get out there really, their fears, their fears, yeah, fears of everything, fears of just just doing stuff alone, I think, just growing up, going in and opening your bank account, and I mean you don't even have to do that now, you just do it all online. Yeah, it's easier now, basically, in a way, it's easier. In a way it's harder. Yeah, it's harder now because it's harder to gain financial independence at an earlier age, which was easier before. Yeah, for our financial independence at an earlier age, which was easier before. Yeah, for, like, for our generations. Now it's harder.

Speaker 1: 12:43

But I think, you know, financial independence does come with growing up as well. But there's a lot of, like, really young people that aren't financially independent. And then you look at them and you think, gosh, you're so responsible, you're such an old soul, yeah, yeah. So what do you think it is? I don't, I mean, it's a. It's a delicate balance.

Speaker 1: 13:09

I think of learning how to become more self-aware and become responsible for your own actions, which is something that you learn if you, if you have a good community around you, you do learn how to do that. As a child, you learn that if good friends well, yeah, you learn how to treat your friends well. You learn how to. If you've got to complete a task, you learn that you get. You get that task done, you know you're, you feel good about yourself and you probably get other people start relying on you, and that becomes part of the growing up process. You have people who rely on you, they depend on you, you know and, and they make it's like when they say you know you get your first pet. Going back to pets again once you know that there is a living being that depends on you, that you have to be, then you'll go out, you buy the food, you make sure they, you know they're comfortable, etc. So this whole thing makes you grow up.

Speaker 1: 14:10

So what is it that actually makes you grow up? It's living life and taking responsibility exactly getting through, getting talks, tasks done, accomplished. You know that that's what makes you grow up, I think, and some of us have to grow up sooner than others, because life is harder. It's harder, yes, and some people never grow up because they haven't. Also because, in a way, it's selfish of I, of parents, not to allow their children to grow up Because you think they may be thinking they're protecting them, but they're really doing the opposite. The fact is that parents want to be needed and that's one of their issues. That comes into play when they won't allow their child to grow up. It's because of their need to be needed, to be wanted. So that's something you got to think about is.

Speaker 1: 15:03

But that's becoming self-aware as well, is thinking if I am doing this all the time for my child, my child won't learn how to do it themselves. Thus, who's gaining from this? It's a parent is gaining, they. They're becoming fulfilled by thinking I am needed all the time. But then, in the end, you're not helping. You know, you know you have to think about that. You have to become self-aware with those things as well.

Speaker 1: 15:31

If you're overly protective, perhaps, or you're overly always wanting to do everything, yeah, and if you're on the other side, you have to, you know, maybe say to your parents I need to, you know, be able to grow up. Yeah, if you're listening to this and you're at that age when you need to become, to be more independent, yeah, you know, you want to fly, you want to make your own decisions. Absolutely, it goes both ways, doesn't it? And not have to always second, second, best them as well, because if you make a decision, then your parents say, oh no, I don't think that's the right choice for you. Yes, you have to realize that if you are a young person listening to this, that your parents aren't just because they're adults doesn't mean that they're necessarily. You know, they're not fully grown up yet. They're growing all and every day. So they can grow with you if you learn to communicate together.

Speaker 1: 16:27

Yeah, you have to communicate your wishes and desires and they have to learn how to communicate theirs as well, and listen and listen, yeah, and you will grow. You'll be able to grow together. There's nothing as wonderful as having an adult child. You know that you can grows with you. Yes, because it makes you grow. They always make you grow. Every relationship in your life will make you grow. Yes, if you, if you allow the window of learning to take place. You will learn. You'll learn from every single person you meet and that's how you grow. Yeah, that's a good point. You learn from every person you meet. You do. That's how you grow. Yes, yeah, you have to be open to that. You have to be self-aware once again and think okay, I'm going to listen a little bit more. You know, even though I think that person looks like they have nothing perhaps to offer me or to teach me, they probably do. They probably do more than what you know. Well, let us know what you think if you're grown up. I mean, I think where it?

Speaker 1: 17:34

When it comes to clothes, there's a big discussion about oh, kitty's, come to see us. And we're talking about pets. Yeah, the little cat's come in. The little cat's come to see us. Yeah, she wants to be heard. Okay, oh, hello Kitty, hello Kitty cat.

Speaker 1: 17:52

There's been lots of interruptions today on this podcast. I know, I think there's not that many grown-ups around us. There's apparently everybody wanting our attention. This is funny. If you're watching on YouTube, come on. Yeah, you can hear the purring. She's our little rescue one. Hello, she's a little grown-up one. She to grow up fast. She had a tough beginning. She did, didn't she gosh? Yes, we thought she was a little kitten and then the vet said that she was. She'd already had a litter and everything. Yeah, poor little thing. Yeah, he said, oh way, no, she's had loads of kittens, she likes a podcast. She's coming. I mean, if I put the mic down, you can probably hear her purring. This is ridiculous. Hello, anyway, I think we've got to go and deal with this now. Go and feed her. She's gone to sleep now.

Speaker 1: 19:01

Okay, let us know what you think is growing up. I mean, as far as fashion is concerned, we don't feel grown up yet. We can wear what we want and do what we want, can't we? We don't feel like if anything's off limits just because you've reached a certain age. It's more about taste, really, and what you like, isn't it? Yeah, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel comfortable, you know within your own skin, so it doesn't really matter. Thank goodness they're not that many taboos nowadays. You know it's good. Yeah, okay, let us know what you think. And I think we're going to go off and have a little snooze, because this one little kitty's putting us to sleep here with her purring little nap, like what the babies do.

Speaker 1: 19:45

Well, come and say hi on youtube, please do subscribe. It helps our channel grow. And, of course, we'd love it if you would leave us a five-star review on apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast and just have a good week. And I think growing up is good to feel grown up, but it's also always good to leave that childish curiosity within you that makes you smile and laugh and giggle, whatever age you are. Absolutely agreed, yeah, lots of love and smiles from the english sisters. Bye.