Breaking Free from Worry: Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Finding Peace

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of worry, unable to break free as it spirals into anxiety over things that may never even happen? We explore the art of managing concerns that consume mental space and time, offering insights and strategies to help shift your mental soundtrack away from negativity. From personal stories about seemingly trivial worries that grow out of proportion to the importance of taking action where you can and letting go when you can't, we guide you on how to steer your thoughts toward positivity and productivity. Our discussion also delves into the power of childhood memories, like using worry dolls or gratitude journals, as tools for managing anxiety and procrastination.

Rediscover how the simple act of helping others, whether through volunteering or just lending a hand to those around you, can effectively alleviate personal anxieties. We provide practical advice on creating a bedroom sanctuary to enhance well-being, underscoring the impact of sleep patterns on our daily lives. The conversation touches on evolving empathy and adopting a balanced perspective on life's challenges, particularly health-related ones. Tune in to understand how a mindful approach and small symbolic gestures can reclaim your mental peace and make a profound difference in overcoming daily stresses.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Managing Worry and Anxiety
• 6:50 Childhood Memories
• 15:59 Overcoming Worry and Anxiety Daily

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Worrying. I think worrying takes up so much of our time every day and we don't really realise how much it's actually robbing us of our lives. Yeah, and it takes up so much mental space as well. It's like our mind can be so full of worry that we don't have time for other things, and we literally can't. Most of us can think of one thing that we worry about every day. Yes, the same thing. If you add that up over in the next five years or 10 years, you know how many it might it might have taken a whole year away from your life, I know. Just worrying about it, yeah, something that you really I mean worrying in per se is okay if you think, oh, okay, I've had like a warning. It's like a little timer that goes off, but then how long do we have to worry about it? How long? So that's what we're going to be chatting about in this week's episode on get real with the english sisters. Join us and thank you so much for always subscribing and following the show. Yeah, and do come and say hi on instagram too, where you can have all the latest updates, and come watch us on youtube, where you can see the video. Today, we've got our shiny blouses on, haven't we do? Yes, indeed, we do have our shinies for the new year. Yes, new year, still keeping joy, I'm not going to worry as much. No, that's a good, good new year's resolution.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Definitely because I found in my personal life yeah, me too, the more I worry, I mean most things I worry about, they don't even they don't come true. Most of the stuff, yeah. Then afterwards, when you actually and I think, why did I worry so much about this? When the time comes, you think, oh gosh, that wasn't even worth it. Yeah, most of the time it wasn't worth the worry. I mean, is it ever worth worrying about? Not what I don't think complete worrying? I think when the thought comes in your mind that you're worried about something, yes, then you say it's time to take action about it. Yeah, that's when you have to take action. And if there is something you can do about it, well then you do it. You do it, yeah. But then the worst thing is when you don't do it and you just continue worrying about yeah, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it, because it's a health issue or it's something that you cannot address that in that day, or it's a fight you've had with someone and you can't solve it, so there's no point worrying about it. You think I'll do it, and you just go and do it and you say sorry, or you. It's easier said than done, though, isn't it? We do know it's so easy, but it's all about being in the present moment again. It is we have to take charge to direct our minds into a more helpful state of mind for ourselves. That's what it is.

Speaker 1: 3:13

I'm thinking about one of the um, the short stories we wrote in stress free in three minutes in our book, and it's your favorite playlist. Would you put worry into your favorite playlist? Would you put a song into your favorite playlist that you hated or that made you worry, that made you feel ill every time, physically, mentally? If you think of your thoughts like a playlist, why on earth would you torture yourself with something you did not enjoy listening to? I think the answer is people say I don't want to torture myself, but that thought just keeps on coming up and there is nothing I can do about it. That's what people would say. That's where you're wrong, because there is something, yeah about it. You can make it stop, just like you would stop at a red light and you wouldn't go through it. Yes, that's right, you can make it stop. Or you can stop when I'm listening to a playlist. If I'm listening to some music and then suddenly something else comes on, I don't like. I stop it. Yes, and I change it to the music that I like, which at the moment is Taylor Swift. It could be anybody. It could be anybody, yeah, anybody. I go back to who I want to listen to so you can do the same with your own mind. You can't just let your mind go nuts on, you run loose and just go wild, because then, if you're, if you start worrying about one thing, what happens is that other things will pop up. Your, your brain will start focusing on everything that's like concerning to you at the moment. So you've got economical issues and then maybe some health issues and then maybe family issues, and it can all add up and all this worrying. Ultimately, in the end, it's it's not healthy.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Do you remember the other day, some insect bit your husband and he started staring at it and really worrying about it. He was worried. He was so worried and so then I got bitten. I got bitten a few days after recently, and I was looking at it and it was getting me worried, just like what happened to Georgia. And I was looking at it and it was getting me worried. Just like what happened to Georgia. Yeah, and I was thinking here I am worrying about this. No, stop it, put the cream on it, take an antihistamine and you're going to be fine. Yeah, it's nothing. Fine, it's nothing. You were worried because you got stung by the bees, yeah, and, and I had no allergic reactions. I know, but I just think it's our minds.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Just go to these places, yes, and if you do not know how to control them and put them in check of your own mind, you will be in trouble. You will be in trouble and a lot of the times, these things happen just when you want to rest the most, your brain will start. When you want to go to sleep and you want to have the most your brain will start, yes, when you want to go to sleep and you want to have a good night's sleep. So how can you like? If you, you know what would you say? How can you?

Speaker 1: 6:14

The other day, I was watching the the empress and they came up with the netflix yeah, the netflix one, and they came up with these worry dolls and apparently they originated in um, guatemala and little children. They're given to little children and they they're cute, as cute as anything. Little dolls, they're nothing to do with with anything you know bad. And you have this little doll and you, you tell your worry to the doll and then you put it under your pillow. Oh, that's so sweet, and then that's it. So you're free of your worry, you're free of it.

Speaker 1: 6:50

So what you can do with your mind, as we've learned as a hypnotherapist, is you can say to your worry I've heard you, I'm listening to you, it's okay, you're going to be okay, we're going to deal with it. We'll deal with it if we can, like tomorrow, if it's a health issue, if it's possible, I'll make an appointment or I'll do something I have to do. If I have to do it, if I don't, and it's just waiting, because a lot of the time with health issues you know it is just a question or you put them off. So then, if you find yourself putting stuff off, you can ask for help. So you can ask a friend or a family member. You can say look, I'm procrastinating, I'm worried about this thing, but I'm actually doing it really difficult and I'm procrastinating with it. Can you help me? Can you check on me, check up on me and either help me make the phone call or make the appointment or, you know, ask me if I've done it, so that I'll do it?

Speaker 1: 7:50

And because sometimes we just we're like these people, we're not computers. No, we're not, we're not. Well, we are in a way, yes, because you can program your mind. Yes, only if you know how to, only if you know how to, only if you know how to, if you have the tools. Absolutely yes, it's all a question of knowing. So I mean, we're adults, so we don't have these little dolls, or maybe we still do.

Speaker 1: 8:15

If you belong to that culture, you can buy them online, really, yes, the little tiny, little traditional little dolls. Or you can make them if you like making stuff, and you place all your worries into that little doll and, yeah, you have one for each worry, but I would just have one for all of them. Yeah, it seems easier, but the actual symbolism of it is that you are putting them away, aren't you? Yeah, or sometimes, if you're like you like crystals or you like you've got a little favorite thing, that you like a little soft toy or anything. I would just say you know, use the, the um or a power of prayer. You know, if you're religious, wonderful, you know you, you send off that prayer and you can. You can, sort of like, help yourself, relieve yourself of some of your worries. So let them be, so that you can let them be for the evening, for the night, put them to one side. Yeah, I think that's where journaling helps, because you can write it in your journal and then you say okay tomorrow, and you close the diary, yes, out to sleep.

Speaker 1: 9:20

We used to do that when we were little, didn't we? We would write a diary. Yeah, our mothers used our mom. I would never. I would always edit it, though Because you were scared somebody would read it. Yeah, never, true. But if it was true, who would ever read it? Nobody, it was just me and you. I would certainly not go snooping into your diary. I was not interested and not no one would have read it.

Speaker 1: 9:41

But I don't know, it's just these things, like I wouldn't actually really say what I've really felt I do if I look through my diaries. Oh, I would worry a lot, you know, I would write down my worries. I'm so worried about my math test. I'm so worried I would write things like that. I'm worried, I would say things like that, but I mean really, I suppose, really personal things I wouldn't write just in case someone read them. Yes, obviously, yeah, if it was something really personal, what can be that person when you're a tiny, you know, when you're like nine? Well, I wrote them till I was older. Yes, yes, so did I actually. Yeah, but so did I, not just when I was nine. No, no, you're right. No, it's true, it's funny to read. Now you have to go and have a look at them and see what. But I used to mostly write. It was a bit like a gratitude journal. Really, most of the time I would say how grateful I was, how much I loved my family, my husband, when you were older, when I was older, as a teenager, teenager, I can't remember I'd have to go and have a look, but I do remember worrying about people reading them. Yes, so that's another worry that you don't want to add on to the worry list. Yeah, and if I just told a little doll, it would have probably been better, really. Yeah, because the doll's not gonna say anything.

Speaker 1: 11:00

We did actually used to sleep with our dolls, didn't we? All of them? Yeah, none of them would be left out, no, the bed would be covered in them and they were hard like. They were like hard plastic, these lovely soft ones, no, no, even the actual, like teddy bears. You know, I remember in our days they weren't like these lovely and soft and plush like they are. No, they were quite hard. They had like hard little arms and Wire inside and they used to stick all over you but you'd stuff them all in under the bed covers. I remember, you know, every single toy I ever possessed, because they would get cold. Yes, if we didn't, yeah, it was probably a way for having comfort as well from them, from the dolls, sometimes pretty uncomfortable, it was uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 11:51

I do remember those little hands, my big and hard. It was a doll I'm talking about. It was. This gets worse. We were little. We used to play with six. We were six. When we were like we used to play with. This is getting. We were six.

Speaker 1: 12:13

We had dollies that they had in those days, so that not so much now. There was barbies as well, but barbies are pretty well. Yeah, they were tough, little, to use the same word. No, they were tough, and it was. It was difficult. It was difficult sleeping with them because I remember they would take ages to warm up. It was cold for ages because the rooms were cold as well. We didn't have central heating when we were really tiny, no, but later on we did, but they were still cold. But I remember when we used to sleep with them we didn't have central heating.

Speaker 1: 12:45

The central heating came when we were quite older. Really, goodness me, I can't remember the days before central heating came, when we were quite older. Really, goodness me, I can't remember the days before central heating. Oh, I can. It was bloody freezing, was it? I just can't remember that. Was it that room with the wallpaper? We had that green flowery wall the first time we had central heating in there. How on earth would the rooms warm up? It was just freezing cold. Did we have an electric little heater or something? Nothing, gosh, it must have been freezing, goodness me. No wonder people used to have to wear hats in bed, like the woolly hats and things. Did we have them? We didn't have hats, but I don't know what we had. I don't think we had. I think we might have had a little radiator in the room. Yeah, I think so. We had electric radiators and things like that. There must have been something in there to warm up that house. Because the house was big, it must have got really cold.

Speaker 1: 13:44

I do remember the big deal about the central heating. The central heating was a big deal. Mum and Dad made a big deal about it, and there was this boiler room upstairs. Yeah, the man came and put all the radiators in. Oh, yeah, I remember that, but kind of yeah, maybe a bit younger. Obviously I was a year younger and I just probably didn't remember it.

Speaker 1: 14:05

I do remember the house feeling nice and cosy afterwards, though, yes, it was cosy. Oh gosh, what a difference. I think we were just used to cooler temperatures. Yeah, absolutely, I mean, the babies used to sleep, like my husband, his sister, who's like 15 years older than he is, or 20 years older, she's much, much older when she had her children, she remembers that they used to sleep in woolly hats and coats, the babies, the babies would be all wrapped up like if they were in the streets. Well, what about? You would put the prams outside to let them sleep in the garden? Yeah, you would actually put babies and let them sleep, especially if it was a nice cool you know, not cool. It was like a nice winter's day. Even in the winter, though, you would put the baby outside. I remember Mum she would sometimes leave, you know, she was a childminder and she would look after like five babies at a time, and then one would always be parked outside the front door and, you know, just sleeping. That sounds terrible, it sounds terrible, but it was like the fresh air. She was saying it's good for babies. Well, it's like what they do in Sweden or something, or in Denmark, in these Nordic countries. They all leave them outside in the freezing cold. Yeah, because they're all wrapped up in their. Yeah, they're all super wrapped up and everything. But yeah, so obviously it was different times.

Speaker 1: 15:25

Anyway, we are going off topic here, but anyway, what's the point of worrying about worry? Yeah, exactly, you know. Worry. Think about better things. Yeah, if you think you have, you know, your mind, your mind needs space. It needs to be freed up. It's like all cluttered with worry. It's like your iPhone space or your, whatever it is space, your computer space. It needs to be freed up so that you can have space for things that you really want to think about and enjoy and listen to.

Speaker 1: 15:59

I think, and I think a lot of the worry is like past worries. It's things that aren't, they don't even concern you in the future. They're like regrets that turn into worry because it's ah, you regret and then you worry about the regret of not doing it. There is, you know, you are taking up valuable space in your mind which you could be enjoying yourself or helping other people. Yeah, a lot of the times, by helping others, you feel less worried about your own anxieties. Yeah, and it's extraordinary how that works, and that's why volunteering is really good idea as well, to help relieve. Yeah, we're doing something you feel as if you're helping people with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously. Yeah, even if it's not volunteering, if it's helping your neighbor, you think you're being useful to, to whoever? Yeah, your family, your friends, whatever it is, it makes you feel less anxious as well. So, whatever it is. So, even, as you know, we may not have the little worry dolls, but we can sort of like, pretend and get rid of that worry. Yeah, I mean you can even just hold a little handkerchief in your hand or something and say, okay, I will put this under my pillow tissue, put your worry in there under the pillow under the pillow or, you know, in another room. I would say, keep it at bay, flush it down the toilet. That's why you have to have your like.

Speaker 1: 17:36

I think the your room you sleep in has to be a bit of a sanctuary. Yeah, so you have to leave, you will come outside of it. Yeah, so that you. I mean, I love my bed. I absolutely love it. You know, it's like my sanctuary, it's just I love. That's why everything around it, you know I have to make it. That's why everything around it, you know I have to make it. That's why I'm obsessed with the bed, linen and everything. It's always my happy place. The minute I enter it I feel, oh, I love it, that's nice. Yeah, I really do. And you don't. You don't love it as much. I'm not. I like it. I like going to sleep in it and doing things in it.

Speaker 1: 18:20

But the, the actual bed. I don't spend a lot of time in my bed like you do. No, I go to bed at 12 o'clock or 1 o'clock in the morning, or if I set an earlier bedtime, which now I tend to go to bed a bit earlier, like at 11. Yeah, because if time which now I tend to go to bed a bit earlier, like at 11. Yeah, because it's because if you go to bed too late then you want to get up. Like, since I work online and I've got I don't with people I don't want to get, it makes me get up earlier if I go to bed earlier. Well, of course it does. Yeah, that makes sense. So you mean, you don't want to get up too early. I do want to get up earlier now in the winter, all right, okay, you want to have a longer early. I do want to get up earlier now in the winter, all right. Okay, you want to have a longer day. I want it to be sunny outside, but lucky, it's mostly sunny. Yeah, me too, even, like on a sunday. I want to, like, enjoy my sunday. Yeah, I think. Oh no, it's all right.

Speaker 1: 19:09

I used to want to sleep in more and I didn't care about the light so much, but now, yeah, I'm older, I like to see the light more. You did care about the light, you much, but now, because I'm older, I like to see the light more. You did care about the light. You were always moaning about how early it was and how dark it was In the evenings, but I didn't care if I slept until 12 or something. Well, really, yeah, I used to sleep in loads. I remember always caring about that. Maybe you were different. I always used to sleep in until 11 or 12. I didn't care. Yeah, I always used to get a headache by sleeping too much and I'd be annoyed. Yeah, if I sleep in too much and if I got a headache, I don't get headaches. Oh, no, yeah, because you don't sleep in that much. Probably, yeah, and you know, but sometimes I do.

Speaker 1: 19:52

I do recuperate, like if I've been out on a night, on a, if we've been out, I do sleep in. Yes, obviously, you get up at 10, 11. I suppose if you go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning, that's normal. Yeah, it's a normal way. It's something else? Yep, absolutely it is. So is that what you do to control your worry at night? What do you do to control your worry at night? What do you do? I try not to worry at all about things. Now, yeah, I've become very philosophical about things and I just think if there's something I can do about it, I'll do it and I don't go to the worst situation, like the worst scenario. I think I'm like worried out.

Speaker 1: 20:39

I've done so much worry in the past, goodness me, yeah, but now, especially with health, and that I just take it very just, one day at a time, kind of thing I'm not going to. I mean, I've had new reasons to worry now with my son's. You know, health, yeah, but even with them, like before, I would have been worried sick about your sons, and now I don't worry like that. No, thank goodness you did. You used to worry a tad too much. I used to be so empathetic about people and I'd worry more than necessary about other people as well and about their health. Gosh, yes, you did, and now I don't do that anymore. No, thank goodness. Yes, absolutely, and in the end most of it turns out, it's always okay, and if it isn't, there's nothing you can do about it. Anyway, that's life. So I must say, yeah, that is true.

Speaker 1: 21:33

Yeah, I even though, like you know, I've had my son's diagnosis he's has he's been diet recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer and that was pretty scary, really, really scary as a mom. He's so young, he's 27, and I thought, gosh, how am I gonna ever overcome this worry now? And it's just constant, because then it's another test and then he has to do. You know, it's just, but I've managed to somehow somehow take it day by day. You know, and and and sort of live from, for my health experience as well. Just understand that. You know these things are what they are transitory're transitory as well, aren't they? I hope they're transitory and I hope they go away. And I mean, he's had an operation and everything.

Speaker 1: 22:26

But then it is easy to go down that spiral, isn't it? With things like cancer, you know, you worry and worry and worry. You can go down. But I've managed to put it like to one side and only think about it when it's necessary. When he comes and he talks to me about it, then I'll think about it, or when it's the next test or something. But I've managed to somehow separate things in my mind so I can still have a lovely hot chocolate and really enjoy that hot chocolate without it overtaking.

Speaker 1: 23:00

I think it's something I have learned to do. It's something, it's a skill. You learn how to do this through things that happen to you in life, yeah, and through the tools that you have. Obviously, yes, yes, through the tools, yeah, absolutely yeah, you have to go, you have to do it, don't you? You you think, how else would you manage to do it? Well, yeah, you, otherwise you don't. You don't manage that what you said. It's not easy to do these things.

Speaker 1: 23:30

No, with loved ones, with yourself, with, with you know, anybody else, you, you end up just having a whole day of worry. And what's the point? There is absolutely nothing that you can do. Most of the time you can follow the doctor's orders and everything, but that's it. Then you, your, your duty is to to live your life, your life and thing with worry as well. It's if you, if you're worried about I say if you're worried about your son, you're not able to enjoy your son as he is now. No, it's always thinking of the future, worrying about something that might not even happen. Another test, when is the next test? You're not, you're like. You're like stealing the moment away.

Speaker 1: 24:14

It is difficult to do. I I must admit it's harder when it is one of your kids. You know that is affected. It is tough. However, it is possible to do and I am living proof of this. It really is possible. So you can do it. You can put aside, you can enjoy yourself as well. And you know, keep things separate, things separate. I think yeah, and not go down the spiral. Yes, yes, and I think everyone has their own journey as well. So if we, if, if you're a person that's very empathetic and you're taking on everyone else's problems and journeys, it's going to be far too much for you to handle and it's not a good thing, it's really. It's just.

Speaker 1: 24:59

You just have to be like thinking I'm just that, I'm just just free and like, just now, in the moment. Am I okay, right now, in the moment, sitting on this chair, talking to you? Yes, I'm fine. No, there's nothing otherwise. You're like're like Always in the future, aren't you Always in the future? But also you're like imprisoning yourself, you're like enslaving yourself in this thing. That's not even real. So like you're incarcerating yourself in a thought that's not even real. It's an imaginary thought that you're not. You know who would you be without that thought? You would be free. You would be free without that thought. So, absolutely so, free yourselves. Free yourselves from worry, free yourselves from worry and obviously take the necessary actions that you need to take and just be, be joyful. Absolutely. See you next week. Next week, next episode. Lots of love and smiles from the english sisters. Bye.