The Power of a Smile: Transforming Connections Through Expression

Your resting face conveys powerful messages about your emotional state, impacting both your well-being and the moods of those around you. By consciously managing our expressions and embracing genuine connection, we can transform our interactions and foster warmer relationships.

• Exploring the unconscious signals of facial expressions
• Impact of smiling on children and households
• Creating a friendly environment through body language
• The reciprocal nature of friendliness and connection
• The significance of eye contact in communication
• Using humor to strengthen interpersonal relationships
• Mindfulness in engagement for positive interactions
• Real-life examples showcasing the power of expressions

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Sending Messages Through Resting Faces
• 6:37 Connecting Through Genuine Presence
• 14:52 Enhancing Human Connection Through Eye Contact

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What your resting face tells people around you about you, about how you're feeling. Even when you might not even realise it, you know that you're actually sending off all these unconscious messages. Yes, and they can either be really like, oh, she's really happy, or he's really happy, they're really happy, or oh no, what a mood they're in. Yeah, it can actually be so contagious as well, super contagious. Absolutely. That's what we're going to be talking about in this week's episode of get real with the English sisters. So, watch out, your face is telling a lot about you. Ah, yes, absolutely. When we realized this, it was an epic moment that changed our lives forever. I like the way you say that it did. Actually, it't. It Changed everything. Absolutely. We didn't really realise that our faces had so much to say about ourselves. No, I don't think I realised that either. I kind of just would go around my you know everyday life. At the time when we first learnt it, we had small young children and I didn't really realise how much. Also, you know, the kids were actually looking at me as well, because I kind of just thought, yeah, they don't really, but no, they look at every single thing. You're all the micro expressions you have on your face. Children look at it, and but it's not only children, it everybody. But I do remember when I first started thinking about especially about the children and I remember I was actually I made the conscious choice of actually having like a little smile on my resting face while I was making these pancakes in the morning for them to go to school. And I remember I turned around with this little smile on my face instead of just being in my normal resting face, which was quite probably tired and stressed, thinking god, rush, rush, get them to school. And I turned around and I saw my little five-year-old instantly beam with a massive smile, and the other little six-year-old as well. I mean, they were both so small. They were instantly happy and I thought, goodness me, this is amazing. It wasn't like I was beaming, you know, laughing, I just had just a little smile, like a little smile like this. If you're watching us on YouTube you can see it just like, just like that, you know, just just like made a conscious. It wasn't a fake smile, was it like a real smile kind of, but really inside it was manufactured, it was conscious, but it wasn't fake. No, obviously, I mean maybe it was a little bit fake because I just started learning, but it was still valid. It was now. But I think it was like a bit cheeky because you were thinking what effect is this going to have on them? Well, probably, yeah, because apparently you can tell if it's a fake smile. People will not react to it. Well, no, that's like the air hostess smile.

Speaker 1: 3:14

I was also an air hostess for many, many years and I know what the air hostess said Hello, welcome on board. Hello welcome on board. I mean, if you say it, sometimes you say it with a real, genuine, but other times, when you're really exhausted, you know, I mean, I can remember. I always trying to make a bit of an effort because I was always kind of like conscious about these things. Obviously that's a profession I ended up in. I wouldn't have ended up in this profession otherwise, yes, it was a service, it was uh, yes, but the of service, well, no, to end up in the psychology kind of yeah, no, when I was an air hostess, it wasn't. You know, that was just and just turned out to be an air hostess forever. Yeah, but it was still telling you a lot about people working with people. You learn so much, so much. Goodness, yeah, it was a massive learning experience. And to keep calm as well when you had irate passengers oh yes, you know, weren't very happy with the service or what well, you can certainly tell from their resting faces whether they were happy or not, that's for sure. But apparently, people that, uh, the people that are liked the most.

Speaker 1: 4:21

I was listening to a podcast and it was saying that the people that are like this expert was saying, the people that are like the most are the ones that like people the most. So if you like people, you're going to be liked. Well, yeah, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, obviously, if you you don't like obvious, but you might not when you're going about your daily lives, you might not actually realize how much your body language is affecting the people around you, whereas if you show an interest in people and you really like them, they're gonna like you back. Well, you mean, if you like, if you're not like closed off, like you enter a room where, whatever it is, and you're not like closed off in your own thoughts, but you're, you kind of look around and have a little smile here and there obviously acknowledge people around you.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Yeah, it's that famous unconscious hello, isn't it that we learned? Yeah, that we learned that years ago from Barbara Stepp and her wonderful husband? Yes, yes, and that is so true. That's also like an unconscious, unconsciously you're sending off that vibe, that you're saying hello, I'm open to listening to you. Yeah, you're like giving off. You know you could say friendly vibe nowadays. You know, just say you're giving off a friendly, friendly. That's a bit of a tongue twister friendly vibe, friendly vibe. I can't say that now. Yeah, you're giving that off and I think that's what. But what if you don't feel like giving that off? You know well, you don't feel like it. You won't get friendly vibes back exactly.

Speaker 1: 5:59

So sometimes I think it may be it may be more worth your effort to make an effort to to be friendly than than not be friendly, because that if you're going to go into a meeting and you're completely closed off, you might as well not have gone. Well, yeah, yeah, you'll be wasting everyone's time and your own in the end. Yeah, I know you have to, sometimes you have to. But why not go with the attitude, with a good attitude, and say look, I know I can't be bothered with this meeting or whatever, but I'm going to make the most out of it and you might actually learn something, and, well, something might actually be beneficial to you, or you might form a new connection with someone that's going to be helpful to you in the future.

Speaker 1: 6:37

And so, what is this resting face, then, that we have to sort of put a little smile on? Well, yeah, have this little smile, that sort of creeps up. Sure, because some people we have, we have resting faces, and I think as we get older, our mouths tend to, you know, they droop down, don't they? Not only as you get older, I think in any age. Yeah, but I think when you're younger you tend to have more puffy cheeks. Oh right, your face doesn't seem to.

Speaker 1: 7:03

I remember mum's face when she got older, especially after she had a few strokes. She used to look so miserable. She did look really miserable, yeah, but whenever I used to see her, it used to put me like into a mood of sadness or I would feel upset, whereas if she'd had a little smile, obviously she'd had a stroke, though I mean to be fair, yeah, but even before the stroke, she did tend to do that. Yeah, she did, because she did tend to have that face that she wasn't making an effort to. She didn't really know about it. No, she didn't know about it, and she wasn't making an effort to try and be smiley no, she wasn't.

Speaker 1: 7:41

I mean, I think it's really important to make that effort with people that you know, not only about meetings and things when you obviously need it for your benefit, but also in the family environment. I really do think it's crucial. You don't know how important it actually is. Even like the moment you enter a room, like when you you come home from work, you've got other people looking at you, other people that you're, you know, you've chosen to live with and you know your face immediately sends off vibes, doesn't it? You know, yeah, and sometimes I think we do tend to make more of an effort with people we don't know, whereas with the people we do know and the people we love the most, we tend to make the least effort. And it's okay to have. It's okay, yeah, because you know you don't always have to be, you know, but it's.

Speaker 1: 8:25

It's also nice to make the effort to be just in the present moment and just say hello and just acknowledge, and then you can say, oh, I'm really tired, darling, or whatever. Yes, but it starts off with a, with a nice, warm welcome. Yes, it does without like just throwing all your your stress and anxiety onto the other person and shouting at them maybe, or being really which is very common say, oh, it was hell, I had a horrible day at work and there was traffic and everything's gone wrong. And you know, you think, goodness me, the other person can become overwhelmed, yeah, and then you know, and then what happens is, instead of the other person being able to comfort you, they have some kind of resentment because they get, like this anxiety off you and this stress and this like that they, they don't know how to deal with it, so that it makes them stressed out. Yeah, it's so fundamental to learn how to communicate. But you can communicate these things, you know, as you meet the person. But you can still have that kind of not super grumpy look on your face. You know it can be. Oh, yes, it was an awful day. But you can. You know you can. You can have a try and look at the light side of life as well. You can have a little chuckle about it and say, yeah, it was awful, but this happened. Try and look for the funny side in life and I think that'll help you as well. Yes, definitely that will help you, won't it? Well, yeah, if you start seeing other human beings as humorous, as humorous and, as you know, kind of, each one of us has our funny little quirks in the end, and you know, no matter who they are.

Speaker 1: 10:14

The other day I was in a bank meeting and I suddenly saw the bank director. He looked hilarious because he started scratching his head meeting. And I suddenly saw the bank director. He looked hilarious because he's like squashing his head. You know, I was noticing all these unconscious cues he was giving off, like really trying to find a solution, but it was. It almost looked like a, I mean, comic, comical. Yes, he's, he's. You know, yes, that's it, he's just, thank you, it almost looked. Yeah, it was comical, and I, and I was, you know, in the end I had this little smile on my face and he looked delighted to see that, the jolliness.

Speaker 1: 10:48

I wasn't laughing at him at all because he was a lovely person, but I was just noticing certain humorous aspects of his behavior and we've all got them. We've all got them, you know, like we, sometimes we looked our fun, we have funny expressions on our faces and they're aren't, they're really like you know, they can be really quite bizarre and and you can enjoy them as well I do, you and we enjoy them. But but, yes, it's important, I think, to to learn to see the humorous side, that's it and to learn to look into people's eyes as well and learn to communicate effectively, like by really giving people your attention. The simplest thing about communicating effectively is just giving people the time of day, yes, just listening to them and just being there with them in the moment and, can you know, considering their feelings and just and people. The amazing thing is that people will actually respond very, very positively to that. Very well, because they will feel that there's real, genuine interest and connection there and they won't, they won't, they'll be like, they'll almost be like, yeah, disarmed. They'll think, oh, what's happened? You know something I can. I mean the other day I we're a lovely person.

Speaker 1: 12:08

Today I was taking my son for a visit, a medical visit, and in the end my son popped out a minute and and the doctor obviously I'd given him all you know lovely vibes and unconscious hello and everything and he started telling me about his situation, his medical situation, and saying, oh, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. But you know, I also have a similar problem blah, blah, blah, and he went on and on and I was giving him eye contact. He could see he was connecting and I was thinking, isn't this lovely? You were actually connecting on a human level. It's not just a medical, sterile environment. He's actually sharing something that could be of help also to my son, because it was kind of related and that. But it was really really sweet and I thought this is because of the way I said hello at the beginning, the way I acknowledged him as a human being, not just as a doctor, get on with it, sort of thing. Yeah, check me out and off, I'm on my way. I just want to get that clinical record. No, it was more than that. There was a human being there and he was being a knowledge.

Speaker 1: 13:18

I think sometimes we might be so stressed in our own lives that we tend to forget that. But if you do look around and look at the people that are helping you, whatever that you the servers, the restaurant or people in the back, you know and you kind of look at them, really it's different. You'll get a different. You will notice a massive difference in your life. You will and it'll be. It'll be a. It'll be life changing. It will be life changing. It'll generally change your life if you start doing it. Yes, it does. It did us. It just opens up a new world. It's almost like if you haven't seen life before. It's like it's suddenly a multi-color. You notice so many things down in your own mind. Yeah, you can't actually see outside and and express yourself with other people and and share the love. Share the love. It is like having a superpower once you learn how to attune to it.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Because if I think about that doctor's face, I can still remember the shape of his eyebrows, the whole shape of the face. I mean, there are, there are particular details I can still remember now. So I was really focusing into that person and I know that obviously I'm a hypnotherapist. You know we're hypnotherapists, but it's easy for you to learn how to do it as well, like, give that more mindful of them. Yeah, that's it. Just be mindful, then you'll notice the person that you know gets your ticket at the train station, if you, if you still have somebody that actually validates tickets. It's so cute. It's unusual. Now, it is unusual.

Speaker 1: 14:52

Yeah, there are machines, but sometimes that's why it's almost more important. Yes, the human connection we do get is fundamental. It's really healing for us as well when you actually look into somebody else's eyes and get that connection. It's important, but it's really important to do it as well with our loved ones. It is. So let us know what you think. Are you going to try this, or do you do this already? Many of you probably already know about this and do it on a regular basis, but maybe some of you are struggling and you're struggling to make friends or form good connections at work. If you try this, you'll notice how things will turn around for you. Let us know. Please do message us on our podcast. There's a little message that says message us, text us, send us a text. And also, please do come and give us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, and you can come and see our facial expressions on YouTube too, if you like. Absolutely Lots of love and smiles from the English Sisters. Bye.