Turning Chaos into Calm: Mindfulness and Techniques for Managing Anxiety

This episode focuses on mastering the art of staying calm despite life's challenges. We discuss practical techniques for managing anxiety, including mindfulness practice, breathing exercises, and the importance of preparation.

• Exploring mindfulness as a tool for staying centered 
• Recognizing and addressing anxiety triggers 
• The significance of deep breathing and power poses 
• Visualization techniques for self-soothing 
• Developing daily habits that promote calmness 
• Using distraction methods to stay present 
• Preparing for stressful interactions with mindful strategies 
• Encouraging a proactive approach to mental well-being 
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Chapters

• 0:00 Tips for Staying Calm During Anxiety
• 6:58 Calm Techniques for Anxiety Relief

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

staying calm when you're feeling anxious or in like in a situation where you really need to be calm. What's the secret to that, and why are some people so calm all the time? Yeah, well, other people you know seem to really freak out more. And how? How? Perhaps to learn some of that behavior? Because it's very useful to have yep. So we're going to give you some tips on staying calm in this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters Mind, health and anxiety.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Yes, yes, staying calm is a lot about. I think it's about centring yourself and being in yourself and not out in the world. Going back to more mindfulness, it is about being in yourself, but I think a lot of the times, in order to not freak out, it's useful to look outside of yourself. Yes, so, because if you're in your own mind and you're in a situation which you're going to find really stressful you know there are so many out there you know there could be anything really Health reasons, job interviews, oh, come on. There are so many things that most people find rather stressful and are going to cause us to to feel a certain amount of anxiety, and so in those cases, sometimes it's best not to be in your mind, isn't it? How can you get out of your mind? Well, it's best not to be in your mind if your mind is an anxious mind. But I think, in order to stay calm, you have to like, practice, like, have a practice of calm, like a practice of yoga. You have to have a practice of calm every day. So you have to be mindful every day. Yeah, so stay in the present, do not freak out, do not go 100, you know 100 breaths ahead of yourself, right? So you think it's more a breathing thing? Yeah, sort of like, take a few deep breaths and be in that moment, be in your own a presence, without having a runaway mind. Yeah, but how do you stop the mind from running away? And you have to practice, don't you? Yes, it's, it's a breathing practice, it's listening to meditation, it's a hypnotherapy practice. It's been being in the present. Yes, I mean, the reason why I'm laughing is because I'm I.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I know that for us, that we've, we've, we've done this for so many years it seems like it's easy and it's more natural. But if you think about it, you know it's not that easy really. You know, it's easier said than done is what I mean, but it's not really. It is actually just as easy, as it's said, as it's said, once you know how to do it which is like remembering that you could to stay in the moment and what that really does mean for somebody. What does that actually mean?

Speaker 1: 3:10

That stay in the moment, like if, say, if there's an, say, if you see a car crash and there's a there's, there's, it's an emergency, okay, and you're not, and you're not a first responder. If you start going in your own mind and you start panicking and thinking, oh, this could have been me. Oh, my god, I hope they're okay, I hope they haven't got kids, I hope that this, I hope that I hope they're alive, and all of this, then you're gonna panic, whereas if you, you, you stay, you take a deep breath and you stay in yourself and say, okay, what do I, what do I have to do? I have to call nine, you know the emergency service. I have to go and see if I can do anything to help without hurting the person and you just say, okay, how am I going to deal with this? Stay centered, stay calm, and you go and do and take action. Then you'll be okay. But if you allow your mind to run away with itself. You're going to start feeling palpitations. Yeah, you'll feel paralyzed.

Speaker 1: 4:07

Yes, yes, you'll get all the typical anxiety responses, which is exactly what you don't want in those circumstances, and that's the kind of response you also get in everyday life if you, if you are anxious yeah, that's where panic attacks come from, and you know this over thinking things and allowing your mind to just go like run riot. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Yeah, there is, there is a technique, isn't it? Yeah, that the it's. It is a bit like like what you were talking about first responders. They are actually trained to overcome situations of anxiety and there's a whole training involved to help these people, to help them, save us, and they have to go through this kind of training. We don't actually go through it in normal life. We kind of do, because, if you think about ever since you're little, you do go through situations that can cause you a lot of stress.

Speaker 1: 5:08

For example, I was thinking about myself only when I was five years old. I was called up to the headmaster's office at school because I was apparently being naughty or something. Yeah, and I remember waiting outside that massive door you know, I was tiny and and thinking, oh my gosh. And I remember waiting outside that massive door. You know I was tiny and thinking, oh my gosh. And I remember feeling like for the first time in my life, I think, I felt like my heart beating fast. I remember that and I was thinking, gosh, this is going to be really scary. You know the headmaster he's like a big, scary person and and so what if you were tiny?

Speaker 1: 5:46

Because, because I was literally five years old and the teacher was screaming at me and I, I remember it was just because I wasn't, wasn't good, I could not understand maths, and in those days unfortunately it was a Catholic school they were extremely strict and, um, I had dyslexia, which I didn't, that, nobody knew about in those days. So, or dyspraxia, I can't remember the one with the numbers Dyscalculus, dyscalculus, and I couldn't, I couldn't, the numbers wouldn't stay still and anyway, so I was, obviously. I remember hiding under the desk and then being pulled out and then taken to the headmaster and expecting, literally, I think you know we were hit in those days. You know it sounds terrible, it sounds terrible, but they would give you the slipper, wouldn't they? I think, yeah, it was like for girls. It was like this shoe that you would get hit with. And for boys, yeah, it was this big long stick, a bamboo stick or something, a cane, a cane. You were hit. So I remember thinking, gosh, I'm going to get hit now. I mean that is horrifying, and that was the first time I ever felt my heart beating like that.

Speaker 1: 6:58

And then I do remember thinking, obviously, about my mum, because I was five, and I remember thinking, oh, my mum, because I was five, and I remember thinking, oh, my mum's gonna help me. You know, somehow thinking about my mum, and I managed to calm myself down so that when I went into the the office I wasn't actually crying and in a state of, and I managed to explain to him what had happened. I said I was hiding under the desk. In the end he turned out to be a really nice guy. I mean, he was a, he was as sweet as ever. He said, okay, don't worry about it, you know, tell me. And he was actually really kind and surprisingly and um so, but I mean I would see him many times after that. He would just say, oh, hello, it's you again.

Speaker 1: 7:43

What did you do? You know, unfortunately, I was always sent to him because you had that abusive teacher? Yes, and and. Because I just couldn't understand the numbers, I couldn't literally understand them, so I was always being told off and being bullied by that teacher. I remember I'd always see outside the classroom. It was horrific. Yeah, that was a horrible time.

Speaker 1: 8:04

Anyway, that's not what we're talking about, no, but I think I kind of learned a technique on my own is like I like saw my mum's face self-soothe. Yes, I managed to self-soothe. So what I'm saying is now, as grown-ups, what we can do is, when we are feeling really anxious, we can also like take the deep breaths, as what you were saying, but also go to a place where it is happier in our minds, like a safe place, a safe place. Some people can like imagine seeing a pet, their loved pets, and they can imagine that. Or you can see, you know, somebody else's face or hear somebody's words that are going to be reassuring.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I think our mom used to always see her mom who'd who'd passed away, yes, but she would get great comfort from that. Yes, she would, yeah, so, yeah, exactly. So, you see, even though she was no longer here, but she would imagine her, like, yeah, she would have, she would have her in her mind saying that she was protecting her. And and our mom always used to say I remember also, like when I was a child, going to the dentist, that was another way, when I used to have to overcome my fear of the injection, because we used to be so scared of injections and um, and mum would always say go to the beach, because that was obviously her happy place. You know, go to the beach.

Speaker 1: 9:24

When I was a kid I would think go to the beach, you know, go to the beach. But somehow, with her words telling us she would describe it Listen to the sound of the waves, you're walking in the water, you know there's the sun shining and I would think, look, I'm just about that would help. So it's like this. She was a bit like a hypnotherapy. She would always do that with me. I never used to really understand it. I didn't understand it either, but it was obviously of great comfort. It's not like I thought, oh, mum is actually using some kind of technique To tell you the truth. I think it was just so natural to her that she just said I think of the beach. Yeah, she'd go to a different place. Yes, go to a different place. So you're not actually in the dentist chair. Now, go somewhere else, close your eyes. She would say Close your eyes, because when you close your eyes you can go to different places. See, you can't like you're going before a meeting or something where you're feeling really anxious, but you can take the deep breaths and go somewhere else.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Literally, you can also use not literally, imagine, not literally. Stay that, figuratively, exactly. You can also use your body, though, can't you? You can use your physicality to. Yes, to like, like there's a, there's lots of studies on the famous power pose. Oh, yes, you know, you put your hands or by the side. You know, the wonder woman, yeah, the wonder woman. Yeah, that'll actually embody calmness in you and confidence. You can also breathe. Remember to breathe properly. Yes, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 11:06

And you know, if you, if you find that at the moment you can't seem to think of somebody that calms you down or some place, a happy place, you can also just literally start focusing on something you can see that's right, like right in front of you in the room. Yes, you know, you can focus on a dot on the wall, the crack on the wall. You can focus on something that will get your mind out of that place. Yeah, that'll keep you in the present moment. Keep you in the present moment. See, feel what the chair feels like if you're sitting down. What do the surroundings look like? What are the curtains? What do they look like? What does the door look like?

Speaker 1: 11:46

You start focusing on other things the fabric of the person sitting next to you and, surprisingly, by putting so much attention on something else, you can get your mind out of its own place of anxiety. It's a distraction, yes, it's a distraction technique, but that does work in hypnotherapy as well, doesn't it? Definitely, definitely works, definitely works. So that's another way of you know. That's, that's a great. That's a great way of you know getting immediately out of your own.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Well, you have to, like, take control of your mind, don't you? You do? Your mind is a little bit like a computer, so what you put in will give you the result. Yeah, you'll give the result. So if you're putting runaway, anxious thoughts into your mind, you're going to. Your body will respond like that. Whereas if you, if you're calm, if you, if you practice practice like walking in the forest or in the countryside or in a nice park or you know, you have some kind of fitness practice, you do yoga or running, you'll know what it's like to be in that moment and feel that comforting feeling of just enjoying and like being in the moment of whatever you're doing. And so you can, you can harness that feeling and take it with you when you're in a in a stressful, non-calm situation. Exactly, absolutely, yes, yes, but I think if you take the time to just feel calm every day, whether it's listening to a meditation or, you know, reading a lovely book or doing your favorite um, whatever it is, your favorite hobby, activity, whatever it is, or hobby, you will, you know, you can, you can take those feelings with you and they will allow you to feel calmer in in more stressful situations.

Speaker 1: 13:41

So it's like a skill, isn't it? Like what we were saying about the first responders? It's a skill that can be learned, yes, to then use on a daily practice, even when you know you might think you don't need it. You don't need it, but in reality, in life, you know, even when you're driving, you're stuck in traffic, whatever it is, there's so many, there's so many levels of stress, aren't there that can affect you? Yeah, and it's how you manage to react to these levels. Is you know what, how happy your life will be in the end, how, what kind of a life you're going to have. Well, at the end of each day, it's crucial, isn't it? It's crucial, it is't it? It's crucial, it is crucial. So it's a great skill to you know. Make sure it's a habit. Yeah, practice it every day.

Speaker 1: 14:29

Practice makes perfect, absolutely, it really does. Perfection does not exist. No, it kind of makes it so that you can Makes it okay, I think, yeah, so that you can handle, you know, your, your more stressful things that can trigger you, exactly your triggers. If you know you have a trigger that you know that affects you know, practice it. Practice keeping calm in those situations.

Speaker 1: 15:00

Practice you have someone that like, if you have someone that I'm just thinking, if you have a person that really gets to you every time you see them and makes you feel really anxious, you know, remember, before you prepare yourself, before you're going to see them. So do the power pose, do these little tricks where you put your hands on you, stand up tall and tree as tall as a tree and you have, you have. You know you can imagine a cord holding you up and feeling powerful, put your shoulders back and then go with a deep breath to it. You know, before you talk to them, absolutely, so you can prepare yourself, you prepare yourself, especially if you know you're going to have a meeting with them or or they're just a part of your family, a family member inevitable you're gonna, you're gonna see them most of the time. You can get ready for it, you can get ready, you get ready, you put your, you know, you get ready, you can.

Speaker 1: 15:58

And if you know that it's going to be, you know we used to have this. We wrote about it in one of our books, I think. It was like an invisible umbrella that you can just open and allow a lot of. You know the. It's like a protective shield, isn't it? Yes, to allow the things just to fall off the umbrella as if they were raindrops? Yes, and just drop to the floor and you won't be affected, you won't get wet, you won't get wet, you won't get hurt and you'll be protected. So it's another kind of imaginary tool that you can use. Yes, indeed, yes, indeed. So it's another kind of imaginary tool that you can use. Yes, indeed.

Speaker 1: 16:42

Well, thank you for listening and we're going to be staying calm. Yeah, feel free to share this podcast because you know, our aim is to help as many people as we can that are not feeling calm at the moment and to to feel more calm and um. So, yeah, yeah, it's all about mind, health and anxiety, isn't it how we live our lives? Trying to live our lives in a mindful, healthy and anxiety free way and hopefully being able to transmit some of that calmness onto you as well, that you can share with your family and friends too. Yes, lots of love and smiles from the English sisters. Oh, and please do send us a text message and tell us how you're feeling. Bye for now, bye, bye-bye.