Social Media: The Hidden Anxiety Machine

Discover how social media shapes our perceptions and contributes to anxiety overload. This enlightening talk highlights crucial strategies to regain control and prioritize mental wellness amidst curated online realities.

• Discussion around how social media impacts mental health and anxiety 
• Understanding the façade of perfection on social media 
• Strategies on curating your social media feeds for better mental health 

If you have any questions or anything you want us to talk about, definitely write to us, leave us a comment and we'd love to get inspired by you. 

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom. Buy our BookStress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

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Chapters

• 0:22 Is social media killing your vibe?
• 18:03 Chatting about anxiety caused by social media
• 5:04:25 Simple strategies to stop social media anxiety

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Is social media killing your vibe? Is social media making you anxious? I think that's something we've got to become aware of, isn't it, as it is the number one cause of anxiety today? It is, and that's what we're going to be chatting about. So stay tuned for this week's episode of get real with the english sisters, and we're going to give you three really easy ways of stopping you becoming anxious because of social media, and the first, the first, yes, is what is the first? Because I don't know, I can't remember it.

Speaker 1: 0:44

The first is there's nothing to remember. The first is that it's not real. Yeah, there's nothing to remember. The only thing that we have to remember is it's fake. There's nothing to remember. It's fake.

Speaker 1: 0:56

It's not a real life situation, it's just something that's being staged, and a lot of time they put filters on it and a lot of time it's all. Do you know what? It made a really good point there, because I think in the past, when we used to watch movies and films, we would kind of know they were movies and films and we knew it was there. There was a stage. Yeah, you know, they'd be like in hollywood, far removed lives, yes, and so we did not expect that. I mean we might. If you're watching a romantic comedy, we might come out feeling, oh romantic, and you get the vibe. But you didn't actually expect to relive that exact situation. Well, you didn't expect to have to look like the female or the male lead. You would want to, you'd probably want to aspire, you might be inspired to, but you wouldn't expect you would think that was far removed from your reality. Yes, that was I don't know that famous, you know actress or actor, and that was it. You know, you didn't expect I have to look like that. No, no, that was a movie, or I have to behave like that. That's like the, it's like almost like a fairy tale. It's a Cinderella. Yes, it was like that, wasn't it? You'd all oh, lovely, beautiful, she's beautiful, he's beautiful, but that was kind of it. Then you'd get back into your real life and know that that was on the movie screen. Yeah, but today and there was no expectations of you to look like that I mean, you'd get photos taken of you with a little tiny camera and and you see them like three weeks later, and you'd think, oh, that's okay and you'd put it in an album, but you wouldn't have to show it to the whole world, and it wasn't all the time photos, it was rarely you'd get a picture taken and so life was. It was different.

Speaker 1: 2:40

But nowadays we actually have, you know, cameras on us all the time and so there's so much pressure. There is, you know, there's a lot of pressure going around when you always think you have to look great, you know, camera ready, as to say, the food you eat has to be camera ready, everything has to be staged. Your home, yes, your home, come on, what about, you know, the dirty socks in the corner there? That's everyday life, you know, for most people it's not perfect, you know, come on, we've got to realize that it's fake. Yeah, we have to realize that these are, you know, they're normal people like us, but they've got profiles and there's, these profiles are staged and curated a lot of the time, especially if they're very popular. Yes, and even if they're not very popular, if you are following somebody that's perhaps your own age, maybe they put a lot of filters on that, you know, make sure and then make a big effort to have all the lights. It is becoming something that people are becoming aware of.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Yeah, I think, you know, there's a part of everybody that knows it's not real, but yet you still aspire, you still want it, you still think it is real. There's a part of your brain that's like tricked into thinking it's real. That's what's so toxic and dangerous. Yes, you that, you're right. Yeah, that is a toxic part of it. And how? Because how many hours do we spend looking at those images? Yes, on the phone. Yes, they're conditioning our brains to think that is what my home should look like, that's what my garden if you've got home in a garden, if otherwise, if you're, uh, you know, that's what I should look like yeah, which can become very, very dangerous if you start thinking I want to look like that person there, like, like, look at her, she's so thin, or she's got this hair and, whatever it is, you know, hasn't got any wrinkles, or oh, that can become extremely dangerous because you're comparing yourself to somebody else and you're comparing yourself to something that is not real. So how could you ever compare? You can't, you can't, you can't compare to that, can you? That's why it's so dangerous, yeah, and then I think also so how do we stop this happening? Well, stop spending so much time on your phone, that's the first thing, and then start being a curator yourself.

Speaker 1: 5:10

So curate your feed. Don't follow people that are showing the perfect perfection in in the way you know for, for if you want to follow someone, follow a more normal person. That's going to be, you know. Show them. It's going to inspire you. It's going to inspire you and show them themselves as they really are, and I think more and more people are appreciating that today. Yeah, they are. That's a good. That's a good, that's something good that's coming. You know that we're becoming more aware, becoming more, I think, more fed up and more like we're realizing how anxious we're actually becoming and we're starting to fight back on on that, thank goodness, and we've got to become more and more aware.

Speaker 1: 5:49

I think we have to be so careful because there's so much stuff out there as well that's just, it's. It's also not true, it's fake and it's not true. There's so many influencers that are going around spreading, like all this, false information, making you think that that's that's how it really is and and it's. It's not like that. No, and it's and it's. It is quite, very dangerous. It's dangerous and it's quite.

Speaker 1: 6:13

You know, if you think you're growing up with this kind of you know feed that's going into your brain. It can be quite you know it. It's tough and it causes anxiety because you're never really going to look like that. Oh, you will be like that, or have that house or that room and you have no control over looking like that either. There's no way in hell you're going to be able to look like that Exactly Because it's not you for a start. You're a different person. So why would you want to look like that in the first place? That's, that's. That's a real question.

Speaker 1: 6:43

And and to become obsessed with that can become, you know, pretty, pretty pretty something we've got to become aware of. I think, if it's happening to us or if it's happening to the people that we love around us, like if you're a parent, you've definitely got to become aware of this. You probably already it, but it's even more subtle sometimes and you think, no, my, you know, my kids aren't affected by that at all, but it's almost impossible not to be affected by it. It is, it is, but it's. It's something that we've got to become aware of. So we have to really keep telling ourselves that it's not real and that it's fake, and that it's it's even though it looks so real, because it just like you know they're like they're, they're probably the same age as we are, and you know we're following people the same age, they've got the same like, they've gone through the same studies we have, maybe.

Speaker 1: 7:32

And then and then look, but look, look where they are, they're, they're so far ahead. You know they've got all this money or they've got all these beautiful things and I haven't got it. Why haven't I got it? And then you start the. You know so. So don't compare. I mean, that's the third thing. Do not compare yourself.

Speaker 1: 7:51

It's harder, you know, it's harder said than done, isn't it? Because it's like what you said, it's so. It appears to be so real and so subtle. Yeah, but we have to really think of it as like, like when you stop drinking, I think I have to stop doing this. Yeah, I think like, almost like an addiction. You're saying it's like I have to stop. I have to like limit myself. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna curate my feed. I'm gonna turn off notifications. I'm going to turn off notifications. I'm going to, you know, make a real effort.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Leave those people that make you feel bad when you watch a reel or you read a story or whatever. You look through a story and you find that it's actually making you feel anxious and, you know, making you feel like, you know, I really want this thing. You know, just say, okay, this is someone that I'm not going to follow anymore. Exactly, yes, you can sort of tune in to the emotions that they're bringing up. Are they making you smile? Are they making you feel good about yourself as well, relaxed? Is it inspiring to you, but in a good way, yeah, you know thinking, oh, yeah, that was a great idea. Actually I could try, you know, that, or baking that, or making that, or something that's inspiring to you.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Is this generally giving you something, or is it creepily, taking away, cutting out bits of your own self-esteem day by day, by day, without you realising it? You know that's a creepy part. That's why it becomes so subtle. It like sets in, you know, and starts taking away until you do what it wants you to do, which is to buy, to purchase, to become a victim of, you know, consuming whatever that feed really wants you to do, which is to spend money in it.

Speaker 1: 9:46

Come on, ultimately, even a lot of these influencers they are sponsoring things, yeah, and so some of them aren't, and they just, you know, they maybe get their money from something else and they're not. They might not be there, yeah, that might not be their intention. So you might think, oh, but they're not. The person I'm following isn't doing that. But you have to think, yeah, but how's? How is that person making me feel like what you said? Are they making me feel good after I watch them, or is? Do I feel a lack and do I feel bad about something? And am I yes, that's right am I in a place of abundance, like I feel oh, or do I feel like, like lacking, there is something lacking.

Speaker 1: 10:29

When you're in that state of lacking, it's really difficult for you to see the abundance that's already around you. It becomes so difficult because your mind is concentrated. You know it's like what you give your mind is what your mind will focus on. So what you eat will, you know, reflect in how you feel exactly. So if you're always in the I don't have that and I don't have that and I wish I had that and I wish I was there, and you're in this place of you know lacking, you lack everything, then you'll just look for more things that you lack in. You know you don't have that partner that gives you roses on St Valentine's Day and you lack it.

Speaker 1: 11:10

What social media does as well, you know the anxiety it causes. It makes you feel as if you're alone, that you're not connected to other people Isolation, isolation, and that's another cause of anxiety today, exactly. Yes, you become more and more isolated because you stop doing things, because you think what I'm, what I'm doing, isn't good enough, so I'm not going to bother. You know, I'm not even going to go and do things, go out or do anything. I've got nobody to go with. Yeah, there's no. Who am I going to go out with? You know, I haven't got a whole gang here to start taking pictures. Yeah, having the perfect shot and at the perfect club and doing all of this. No, what am I doing? I'm just at home and, you know, gonna invite a few friends around.

Speaker 1: 11:52

That's boring, you know, everything just appears to be like boring compared to all the things which is so difficult, like if you want to organize a birthday party and you haven't got millions of balloons or a massive cake. What's the point? I mean, you've just had your birthday. We had it at home, here with this, just a family. Yeah, just ordered. I made the cake which, luckily, was very delicious and it turned out really well. But if it hadn't, who cares? We would have still eaten it.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Even if there's many a past birthday cake that has come out as hard as a rock, I can say like 90% we just dip them in the tea, yeah, and that's fine. And the photo we have a big laugh about it yeah, and that's fine. That's perfectly fine. Why? Because it's real, because you're surrounded with real people, real emotions, people that love you and they're real. And if you don't have that, you know you, you find it, you can find all the real people around you.

Speaker 1: 12:50

But the more isolated you become, then it becomes harder. So you've got to become aware of it. It doesn't matter and there are so many if you are. If you do feel isolated, you feel as if you haven't got any friends, or you haven't. You know, start looking for things to do. You know there's so many places that have games, nights, or you know you can join a community of something, or there's so many things. There's walks for lonely people, there's your. If you look, oh, there are walks for lonely people. Yeah, if you look at I'm lonely and I want to go, I want to go and do something, you'll say what can I do if I'm loaning? You know you can look that up. You can use social media for your own advantage, for your own advantage, for your benefit, for you to actually get something from it.

Speaker 1: 13:34

Because when I go through my feed, I'm always inspired. Yeah, mine as well. I put a smile on my face, I'm inspired. There's usually somebody either they're doing like some kind of exercise because I want to become more flexible and like lately I've been suffering from sciatica pain, so normally I wrote that down and I get all these lovely, you know, exercises, make yourself more flexible, or healthy eating, and so I get ideas on how to cook things which are really really dirt easy. And you know something easy for me to make? Well, yeah, and I'm inspired by that.

Speaker 1: 14:07

Yesterday I was inspired by what you told me about something you'd seen on instagram. It was how to make those little cakes, those cakes that you made with carrots, yeah, and egg. She just grated that. They were like high protein, like literally I found she was the girl on Instagram was grating the carrots and she put some cottage cheese or some kind of cheese in it and two eggs and then she's like rolled it all out. She didn't even roll it, she just put it with a spoon on some greaseproof paper and she put them in the oven. So I did my own version.

Speaker 1: 14:40

I opened the fridge and I saw I had lots of carrots. Some of them were going a bit bad, so I peeled them, grated them, put two eggs, put some soft cheese I had in it and then I just lumped them on this greaseproof, you know paper and put them in the oven, put some parmigiano on the top and actually they came out really nice. So that was inspiring and something healthy for me to eat. Parmesan for those who speak oh, parmesan, I said it in italian. Okay, some parmesan cheese, because that's what I had in the fridge. If I didn't have that, I would have just been flexible and got any old piece of cheese I had.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Well, I was inspired by what you told me, and yesterday for lunch, when I was on my own, I just had an old salad that was going. It wasn't bad, but it was like past its best, so it was all in it. I just put, lumped it in a frying pan with a tiny bit of olive oil, yeah, salad, and then I added two eggs to it and that's what I had for lunch and a little bit of cheese, like what you said. Yeah, you put some, so it turned up like a bit of a like. It was like a bit of a stir fry, yeah, because it was like a mixed salad, exactly. So there you go, and then I ate that, but that was inspiring to you. So it's not, but that was inspired by you.

Speaker 1: 15:53

It was the second hand inspiration from your Instagram feed, yeah, so what I mean is that make you feel good, how you feel after, after watching, or, yeah, when you put your phone down. You know you've got to have moments with no phone as well. Yeah, and just be conscious of that. Get inspired on your own. Well, just go and do more than yeah, scroll more than scroll. Yeah, you have to do more than scroll. That's it, because this constant scrolling can keep you so busy that your days pass by and you think what have I done? Yeah, you know a lot of the time. You know how have I spent my free time when I'm not working or studying or doing something else, how have I spent my free time? Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1: 16:42

I mean, this podcast is about mind health, and anxieties are going to do something good for your mind something that's healthy and something that's going to help you feel anxiety free. Yes, whatever that. Yeah, whatever that is exactly so, have a little think about it and let us know, and please do share with your friends and family so you can help us grow. And what were you going to say, youka? What was I gonna say? Are you putting me on the spot now? I don't know.

Speaker 1: 17:11

You said you said you wanted to ask them to write to us. Oh, yes, yes, yes, that's right. If you do have any questions or anything you want us to talk about, you know, definitely write to us, leave us a comment and we'd love to. You know, get inspired by you, by your needs as well, and we, hopefully, will be able to give you some good ideas, some advice, maybe from our lives that we've lived. And you know, life, life's well trodden. Yeah, exactly, from life's well trodden. Yeah, lots of love from lives well trodden, well said, let's go and try some more. Lots of love and smiles from the english sisters. Bye.