Why Anxiety FEELS So Bad (Decoding Anxiety's Physical Symptoms)

Anxiety doesn't just affect our minds – it manifests physically through chronic pain, headaches, fatigue, and even digestive issues that can severely impact our daily lives.

• Case study of a client experiencing debilitating weekend migraines after accumulating stress throughout the week
• How pleasant social situations can still trigger physical anxiety symptoms like tension headaches
• The importance of acknowledging and verbalizing anxiety to reduce its power
• Why showing vulnerability often creates connection and relieves tension
• Simple mindfulness techniques like the "mirroring hands" exercise to interrupt stress cycles
• Breaking the addiction to stress when being "on edge" becomes our normal state
• How digital scrolling prevents natural mind-wandering and relaxation
• Creating regular moments throughout the day to release tension before it accumulates

Take a moment to notice where your body might be holding tension right now. Try the mirroring hands technique we describe – simply observe your hands with curiosity and notice how your breathing naturally slows. Remember that awareness is the first step toward managing anxiety's physical manifestations.

Chapters

• 0:00 Anxiety's Physical Manifestations
• 3:35 Client Case Study: Weekend Migraines
• 5:53 Social Anxiety in Everyday Situations
• 10:40 The Power of Vulnerability
• 11:23 Fight or Flight Accumulation
• 12:58 The Mirroring Hands Technique
• 14:47 Breaking the Stress Addiction
• 16:30 Mindless Scrolling vs. Mindfulness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

The number one reason why you should listen to this is because we're going to be talking about anxiety and why it isn't just in your mind, it's also carried in your body and it can cause chronic pain, chronic fatigue, all kind of illnesses, immune system everything, leg ache, headaches, jaw headache, jaw pain, jaw pain. So if you're thinking, oh, my head hurt today, migraines ask yourself am I actually feeling anxious and stressed as well? Is that causing, could this be one of the reasons why I'm experiencing this kind of pain in my body? Yeah, so join us in this week's episode of get real with the English sisters. I mean, we had a client the other day. We are therapists and we had a client come to us saying they were experiencing pain and headaches and migraine, and especially not just during the week, but every weekend. Yes, it was. It was like worse at the weekends, during the week they weren't they. They weren't so much aware of the actual pain in their body until we questioned them about it and then they realized it. Then they came back to us at the second time. They said you know what? You were actually right about the jaw. Yeah, and they had been the tension. Obviously they'd been to their doctor and they talked about it so they they'd had. There was no underlying like condition, like high blood pressure or anything that was causing the migraines. No, no. So the doctor said it's probably due to the fact that you are actually stressed and anxious. So look, you know, look at your life, maybe go and see a therapist about it if you are feeling overwhelmed, and see what they say. And, yes and well, I was very pleased to actually be able to help, to be able to help that person so much in their life, because I do think this is what can happen to all of us, even us, I mean, we're therapists and we know about it. But there are many times when you just have to sort of become aware of what your body's actually telling you, because you might feel anxiety in your mind and you know that you've got lots of like you know things you have to do and and recurring thoughts that are coming through. But the fact that the anxiety can be expressed in our bodies too, we can feel it, I know, but it's just like.

Speaker 1: 2:43

I remember there was a time when I would just go and do anything like social, like when I first had a baby, and I would go and do anything like there was a little bit of social, and I would come back with this awful headache, like a migraine, yeah, and I would think why? Why I'm actually doing something nice. Yeah, it was supposed to be a pleasant thing, like go to a baby group or something, but I would always come back with this horrible headache. I used to get those headaches too when I used to come to your mummy and baby. Yeah, and it was because we were like making such an effort like to be sociable and maybe we were tense because it was like our first child.

Speaker 1: 3:19

It was anxiety and there was anxiety. It was your first baby. I was just coming along, because I was coming along with you, but the anxiety was, I think, to sort of like talk to other mothers. I mean, why would you think you're supposed to be having a coffee? Yeah, it was just like a coffee morning.

Speaker 1: 3:37

I don't know why all this anxiety, but that's a point about anxiety. You don't have to justify it and say why, what's wrong with me? Hey, you feel it. There's a reason, exactly, and you just just accept it. You know, accept that. That's a good point. I think when you do, we did. I mean, we both said it was because we were anxious. I mean, I, I came to the conclusion myself I wasn't a therapist at the time, but I came to the conclusion myself.

Speaker 1: 4:03

I wasn't a therapist at the time, but I came to the conclusion myself. It was because I was like feeling really tense and it was manifesting in my body. So I was obviously, you know, clenching up, yes, hunching my shoulders. I don't know what I was doing, but I was obviously doing something. So I mean, maybe you too, if you're feeling like particularly, you feel some kind of physical pain or, you know, problem after you've been doing something, ask yourself could it be because I was actually tense and I'm actually experiencing anxiety?

Speaker 1: 4:36

The reason why we're telling you about this kind of anxiety is because we were supposed to be having fun. It was, and it's not because all the babies were screaming. So don't imagine a scenario like that. All the babies were really cute and just being really calm, even Violetta's baby at the time. She was adorable, she was actually enjoying and she was just one or something. She was enjoying, socializing with the other babies. The that's the. That's the point of it. It was a pleasant thing. It wasn't like we had a job interview or a medical examination we were really worried about. It was something that was supposed to be fun.

Speaker 1: 5:16

So what I'm saying is that sometimes, even like before you go out to a party or something and it doesn't mean you have to be like somebody that suffers from social anxiety it can just be that at that moment in your life you might need something else and you're going against what you naturally need. I don't know if I've made myself, I think it is. I think you, yes, you've said yeah, you've said it right. Yeah, I think it is that you, because I think what happens is that you're pushing yourself against what you would normally want to do. Yes, yes. So you're thinking like, even though it was supposed to be a fun thing, if I hadn't had a baby, I might not have, I wouldn't have gone to a stranger's house, exactly, and having to like explain myself and say who I am and everything, yeah, yeah, hello, I'm this, and that I mean it was kind of weird and it was kind of forced, because it wasn't like your friends having a baby. It was like all the people you didn't know had no idea you were entering their home, but it was supposed to be pleasant, like a coffee morning or something.

Speaker 1: 6:24

I think you're right, it doesn't have to be. You know, you can ask. You don't have to think that you're weird or abnormal because you are suffering anxiety or feeling stressed at a certain time in your life. Exactly, I think you just have to accept that you are stressed and you are anxious and then, once you accept it, take a deep breath. Everything becomes easier. Like, don't be so hard on yourself, know that sometimes situations are a little bit stressful, even when they are supposed to be fun, like what you at cuss is, yes, there that you, you, at that moment in time in your life you are doing something, you're pushing your own boundaries.

Speaker 1: 7:03

Now, whether it's something that you want to continue doing or it's something that you can think about and think, uh no, is this just giving me too much anxiety? Is it something I can do without? Then you can analyze that and think about. Think about it. Is it worth it? Is it not worth it in my life at the moment? I think the letter in the end you said it was worth it. So you pushed yourself and I think eventually the headaches did. Yeah, they got better. They just kind of went away once I got to know all these women. Yes, you got to know the new environment, yeah, and it was fun. Afterwards we used to enjoy it and my daughter, jasmine, loved it. She loved playing with other kids, she loved playing with the other babies and I made good friends with some of the mums. So it was really it was worth it.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Yeah, and maybe you in your life you might be like going on dates and you might be getting headaches after your date because you're stressed yes, that's very common actually and you think why, why? You know why, I mean why it's not, why it just happens because you're putting a lot of effort into it. You may be experiencing anxiety about the fact that you're going on. You have to meet new people. I mean, let's face it, we're tribal. You know, as human beings, we were born into these small tribes. Anyone else that would come along, we would either try and attack them or you know that's who we are. Yeah, but we don't acknowledge that now. No, we forget to go and see perfect strangers and think, oh, yeah, we're going to be perfectly cool with this isn't going to give me, but some. For some people it might not give them anxiety.

Speaker 1: 8:39

For some people, it does provoke anxiety, yeah, and so you just have to acknowledge that and realise that your shoulders are tense, I was saying before your breathing might be a little bit rapid. You know you may be your digestive system. Take a deep breath, yeah, become aware of these things and then I think, if you're aware of them, you can let go. Well, awareness is like the key to all success. Once you're aware of something, you've practically got the answers. It's like the magic box, because once you become aware of it, you can do something. If you notice that your jaw is tight or you're speaking too fast, you can take a deep breath and slow down. If you notice that, you know maybe your bowels are starting to move, you can take a deep breath and slow down. If you notice that you know maybe your bowels are starting to move, you can just say I need to go to the, to the ladies a minute, and you know, and and just take, have a deep breath. You know, do, maybe do a power pose and just recompose yourself and you know, just relax.

Speaker 1: 9:44

And I think the best way that we didn't realize it at the time, but I think if, if you had openly said to these other mothers gosh, I was so nervous about coming here. I don't know why I was feeling so nervous about it. I'm sure all the other mothers would have said hey, me too, yeah, and that would have immediately, you know, dissip the anxiety. You would have shown your vulnerability and and that immediately helps the other person too, yeah, you know. So I think, like if you're on a date and you can say I don't know why I was so nervous about coming on this day, you know I feel really anxious about it. You know they might to say God, are you joking? You know I've been sweating. You know I, I'm just so nervous about this. You know I've been sweating. You know I, I'm just so nervous about this. You know you immediately show your vulnerability and that can help you just as much as the other people you're around, absolutely incredibly. So that's also another thing to notice, just to accept it and to and to verbalize it. Open up, open up, show your vulnerability about it. That would be good. Yeah, because I think we are taught not to show our vulnerability a lot, aren't we?

Speaker 1: 10:53

Yeah, and I think with our client, as he was saying once, we told them that you can say that you get these headaches at the weekend. You can tell your partner that you're feeling a bit, a bit vulnerable, you're stressed out. The particular case of this is the classical migraine at the weekend is because of all the tension that was accumulating all throughout the week. This particular client was in fight and flight mode all week, so that's actually quite a dangerous position to be in. She did have so much stress in her life, so much adrenaline, so much so that during the week she was so concentrated and focused on her work and the family and the kids she didn't even have time to realize what was going on in her body until saturday morning when everything broke down. Everything broke down. There was no way, everything. And then the migraine, yeah, and you know, and then I once.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Now she is, she's in therapy with us, she's done two sessions and she's beginning to feel the release. So what can happen is that, if she learns how to manage her stress every day and have moments throughout her day where she can relieve the stress, yeah, she can have, like we taught her, this thing called the, the mirroring hands technique, which is if you're you know, if you're, if you're driving, don't do it, because it's, it's, um, it can be distracting, but all you have to do is just look, put your hands in front of you and look at them and then start observing the lines in them and the way they are, and your fingers, and just you know, just Notice them as if they're not even your hands, as if you've never seen them before, and notice how your breathing starts to slow down and maybe one hand might feel slightly heavier than the other or slightly warmer than the other, and that will immediately put you into a state of calm, relaxation. And the reason is because your mind is focused on something else you are. You pay your full attention on to what your hands look like, the skin color. Maybe it's slightly different in one hand than the other, maybe you can see some blue or green veins. You notice every single thing about the hand and your mind begins to relax and calm. And and it's one of the easiest ways because your hands are always with you to be able to instantly feel that kind of relaxation.

Speaker 1: 13:32

And she's begun to do this throughout her day at regular intervals, when she can just take a moment and do this hand meditation relaxation. Do this hand meditation relaxation, and and and it's beginning to work for her so that by the time the evening comes, she can unwind and feel very relaxed and feel much more relaxed and before be able to sleep better. Thus, when the weekend comes, it's time for relaxation and not for a headache. Her brain doesn't have to be over, you know, over excited and over, yes, hormones all the time, because I mean, our minds are like our brains are like little chemical laboratories, yes, and they can produce beautiful, feel-good chemicals or the opposite the fight-or-flight chemicals that make us feel very adrenalized and they reduce, they put cortisol in our bodies that give us stress and anxiety and put our sack into fight or flight, into the protective mode.

Speaker 1: 14:37

You want to relieve that? Don't so. We don't want to be. No, no, we don't need that. We have to become aware of it and manage it. You know it's like the pressure cooker.

Speaker 1: 14:47

You want to relieve the, you know, release the steam off every hour or so, especially in the beginning, when you're so. Do you know what? You know, sometimes stress also become, can become like an addiction. You become addicted to feeling that way and it becomes unusual not to feel. You know, you think what's wrong with me? Yeah, why aren't I sort of like sharp and on edge and you know, really with it all the time.

Speaker 1: 15:16

No, you don't have to be like that. That's not your natural state of mind. That that's when you're in hyper mode, that's when you're in full adrenaline. You know adrenaline mode and it's necessary sometimes, but most of your day should be in a calm state of mind and it can be. It can be. It's just like when you were little and you might have been at school or something looking out the window and you know you're daydreaming and your mind goes off and it just starts daydreaming about something.

Speaker 1: 15:51

We really don't have the time to daydream nowadays with all our devices and the fact that we're, most of us, are always on the go all day, and our mind doesn't need that. It needs it. It needs it. It needs so much of just calm and where you, you just allow your mind to drift and just focus on, like, nice things, just anything. You know the window, look outside the window, the raindrops on the window pane, anything mindful, as long as it's not just scrolling through, you know, digesting content that's been made by other people. That's not the right kind of content that you need in your life. Right, you need the content that's around you. That your life.

Speaker 1: 16:35

Yeah, that's what one of the things we always suggest to our clients, don't we? To stop scrolling, yeah, start meditating, exactly, yeah. And yeah, start you start doing something that will actually make you feel good, like this particular client. We suggested she did something and she started listening to audio books in the car. That relaxed her, yes, exactly, and she said that she loved that on her way to work. So, and the mindless scrolling she was doing in the evening, thinking that would make her feel relaxed, it was. It was actually not relaxing her. She said she would spend like about an hour on social media, two, one to two hours of just scrolling and then, even when she was trying to watch a film that you know, she said her and her husband would try and watch films, sometimes she would find that she couldn't focus on the film. She would have to pick up the phone and do scrolling again. So this was just contributing to the fact.

Speaker 1: 17:34

You know, I think a lot of us do that nowadays. Yeah, and before, when, when, when we would be watching a film and we didn't have our devices, our smartphones, there would be moments in that film that were boring and our mind might just naturally wander to something else, and that was essential. We're not allowing ourselves to do that anymore. There's no natural wandering anymore where our minds are allowed to drift off, because we're always Entertained, entertained, digesting content. Yeah, looking for the next kind of fix in what can we buy? What? What's funny? This is a funny, this is a little cat, this is all room for silence anymore. Yes, no, there is no room for our mind to just wonder. And I think it. It's something, he's something fairly easy enough to do.

Speaker 1: 18:26

You know we become aware of it and we can stop. We can stop doing it and change our habits, and you know it may take a while, but it's certainly worth it, especially if you're experiencing chronic pain. You know chronic anxiety. You know it's definitely worth it, definitely 100% worth it. It's definitely worth binging on mindfulness, yes, so let us know what you think. Do you find that you're suffering from stress and anxiety and it's building up in your body and manifesting in certain ways? Get in touch. You can send us a text message or watch the video on youtube. Please do subscribe to the channel and let us know how you feel about things and if you'd like us to talk about anything, send us your suggestions. We are therapists and we are here to help you. Thank you so much for listening love and smiles from the english sisters mind health and anxiety bye.