Discovering Self Value: The Importance of Your Inner Dialogue

We unpack the profound impact of inner dialogue on mental and physical wellbeing, exploring how the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives.

• Your inner dialogue shapes both mental health and physical wellbeing
• Negative self-talk creates a cycle that grows increasingly difficult to break
• Using your inner dialogue to seek solutions transforms your daily experience
• Active self-listening helps identify and modify harmful thought patterns
• Positive affirmation repetition works even when you don't initially believe them
• The "law of attraction" connects your thoughts to experiences and relationships
• Simple hacks like associating positive thoughts with daily activities create lasting change

We challenge you to notice your negative self-talk today and actively turn it around—whether you believe it or not doesn't matter, the repetition itself will create powerful changes in your life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Discovering Self-Value and Inner Dialogue
• 1:36 The Power of Healthy Inner Thoughts
• 4:43 Using Inner Dialogue for Problem Solving
• 7:36 Becoming an Active Listener to Yourself
• 10:31 Attracting Positivity Through Self-Talk
• 13:52 The Hack: You Don't Need to Believe

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Discovering self-value and the importance of your inner dialogue. That's what we're going to be chatting about today in this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters. How much do you actually value yourself and how much do you actually listen to your own inner dialogue? That's what is? I mean, I think that's a million dollar question, isn't it? Yeah, because, and it also it depends what kind of inner dialogue. You know what we're actually saying to ourselves. Do you have a positive inner dialogue or do you have a an inner dialogue that's actually not helping your self-worth? It's making you feel bad about yourself every day, exactly so. So I mean, it's really important to understand that what we're constantly saying to ourself is going to be affecting how we feel physically and mentally throughout our days. I know, because you wouldn't think it would affect you physically, would you? No, you wouldn't, but you think it's like a, a mental thing. Well, and, and a lot of the times, I think you know, you you're just not aware of it, because it's something that, as humans, we have, this inner dialogue, and I don't think even you know, we don't quite realize at what age we kind of I don't, you know, there hadn't actually been studies on children. But I, I'm, I'm pretty safe. It's pretty safe to say that we all have it, and kids have it, and we all have it. We all have the inner dialogue because otherwise we wouldn't be able to do any planning. No, we wouldn't be able to. We wouldn't be able to do anything, would we without our inner dialogue? If you think about it, if you think about it, it would be like very peaceful when, if you didn't have it, oh my gosh, yes, so peaceful. It'll be like that carpet silence, you know, just silence. I think that is probably why people do use substances to try and get away from the inner dialogue and not to push, to push it away. However, you know, we have to think about the importance of a healthy inner dialogue and how to get that. Yeah, I like that word healthy, healthy, yes, healthy in a dialogue, just like a healthy diet, yes, yes, you want to be like eating healthy words, exactly. You want to be digesting healthy thoughts in your mind that go on and and go through into your body and into how physically you're going to be feeling, because just imagine how light you'd be able to feel if you do get up in the morning and all the thoughts that go through your mind are ones that are going to be helpful to you throughout your day. I mean bathing you in good thoughts. Yeah, so today, as I move, I'm going to feel healthier and healthier. My body is going to be strong and be able to support me throughout my day. Everything is going to go my way. It sounds like I'm crying to myself yeah, I, I, I'm good, I, I, I feel strong and beautiful, exactly. Um, all of these thoughts that you're thinking, how much my hair is growing, my nails are growing, growing stronger yeah, for you, ladies out there, my nails are growing. I'm getting younger and younger each day.

Speaker 1: 3:37

All of these thoughts that go through our mind are so critical and we can forget that't we, we can forget how important they are. I think. I think like 80 percent of people forget it exactly, or more probably by 999. And even those people that are really mindful, they I'm sure they have relapses. I mean, just think about how important it is for problem solving as well.

Speaker 1: 4:05

How much of our inner dialogue is also spent solving problems, apart from creating them. Because a lot of the times, if you're saying to yourself, I look disgusting today, I look terrible in everything I wear Today is going to be a disgusting, horrible day. You know that's going to cause a lot of problems, but you can also use this inner dialogue to think, no, I'm going to be solving problems today, yes, so everything about my day is going to be looking for solutions. So, your own inner dialogue, look for a solution. Yeah, imagine how many solutions you'll find. It's just amazing, isn't it? It is amazing. It's like when you think I'm going to look for a yellow car today, on the road Exactly, and you see millions of yellow cars. You look for solutions Whereas you wouldn't have found them otherwise.

Speaker 1: 4:59

And if your mind is in a quiet, calm place, you will find solutions. You're asking your mind to give you solutions. You're asking your own inner dialogue to find a solution for you, and you're looking for them consciously and unconsciously. It comes to think about it. Your mind is there to help you, yes, and solve problems and make your day the best day possible. But if you're constantly sabotaging your own self-value and your self-worth with this negative inner dialogue, you will have like you know you'll, you'll have disastrous results, whereas if you will feel horrible by the end of it, what do you put in the machine? I mean, if you're going to put something positive in the machines, I think positive is going to come out. Our mind is a bit like a computer. If you program your computer effectively, you'll get good coding. You know your coding will be good and everything will be fine, whereas if it's the opposite, yeah, it won't be.

Speaker 1: 6:03

You're going to be just digesting viruses and bugs and just all kind of things that are just gonna ruin, ruin your, your whole, your whole system. I mean so many, I just I mean mean it's sad. Really it is sad because we're not aware of it, because relationships are ruined by it, everything. You just you can just sabotage yourself in just so many ways, whereas you have the potential to be great, you have the potential to fulfil and live your best life. If you only just change those words and I know it can be tricky to change them because you're used to it so it's kind of comforting in a way. You know, in quotes it's like comforting because you're used to hearing all this negative, you know bad dialogue all the time, whereas if you just change it, it's just, it's just amazing.

Speaker 1: 7:01

So you can start little, just notice, pick up on every negative thing you're saying to yourself and turn it around. Yes, think you can. Actually, once you're aware of it, you can. You can notice it and and think okay, is this helpful to me? Now? Is it helpful for me to think I'm going to work now and I hate my job, for example? Is that helpful? Or is it more helpful for me to think, ok, I'm going to do the best that I can of today and I'm going to look for solutions? I mean, what kind of day are you going to have if you go ahead thinking like that, well, you're going to have an amazing day. Yes, well, I don't know if it certainly won't be a horrible day. It's going to be a more calm day, it's going to be a more serene. You're going to be looking and you're going to surprise yourself, I think, and surprise others around you, because people pick up on your energy. They do so if you go into work thinking like that, everyone else around you is going to pick up on that exactly. So they're going to be finding you, you know. And obviously, if you really aren't happy with your, with your work situation, you know, you think, okay, I'm going to go in, I'm going to find a solution. Yeah, I can today, and then this evening I'm going to look for another job or something.

Speaker 1: 8:19

You're going to become more aware of the emotions that are going through your mind because you're going to actively be listening to your own internal monologue that's going through. Once you become an active listener, it means that you can start understanding the thoughts, who you are, who you are, what's going through your mind, what are you saying to yourself constantly. If you, if you become an active listener, you can understand that and you can do your own self-regulating as well. You can calm yourself down, you can understand your emotions better and think okay, now if I'm having really angry words going through my mind, what can I do about that? You know, how can I regulate my own emotions at the moment? How can I take a deep breath and turn them around and be kind to myself?

Speaker 1: 9:12

Yes, and we're saying this from experience, because we are therapists and we're also human beings and we have these. We have these feelings ourself and like personally, I know I can start my day by thinking negative thoughts and I can become aware of them as well. I know I can say, oh no, I don't want to go into work today and I, but I can also begin to notice other things about my day that are nice, that are good, that they're gonna make me feel good and I can change my own internal dialogue around and I can actually feel healthier in every single way, mentally and physically. Well, I think it's shocking how much physically you can feel better if you, if you program your mind to feel better as well. I think that's the key to freedom really, because you're like you're not free if you have all this, all this negative self-talk. You're not, you're not allowing yourself to free, you're not freeing up your mind, you're not allowing good things to come to you. No, you're not.

Speaker 1: 10:17

So I mean, they talk about the law of attraction a lot, but if you're attracting, if you're thinking beautiful things in your mind, you're going to attract beautiful things and beautiful people around you, good people. If you're the opposite, you won't, because you'll be looking for negativity. You won't be connected to that inner kind of source that flows, flows around you know, good energy. It's good. Yeah, call it good energy, call it whatever you want, but it's something we can feel. It's like a dog when, when, when they come across somebody that they know has like aggressive thoughts in their head, the dog will start barking. They won't like that person. We're the same other people. You know you, you find yourself, you're attracted to people that are gonna make you feel like calm.

Speaker 1: 11:10

And you, we can sense that there's no point thinking that we can't, we can. No, we're mammals and we sense we're mammals. We're part of nature and we understand these things subconsciously, exactly. Our subconscious mind picks up on these things and if you are having these kind of thoughts, they will affect your thoughts, affect your day. There's no two ways about it.

Speaker 1: 11:32

The good news is that you can do something about it, because just becoming aware of your inner dialogue already is the key to success. It really is, and it can be a great source of self-motivation, instruction, positive self-reinforcement. It's amazing how much, if you just become aware of what you're saying to yourself, you can use it to your advantage. Yeah, to become strong, to become more and more powerful. You have a little giggle as well. Yeah, hey, don't you dare. I'm not. I'm not going to talk to myself like that today. I'm going to change this around. Yes, exactly, I'm going to change this around. I am a strong, powerful person. I can do this.

Speaker 1: 12:17

I mean, everyone's heard of positive affirmations and, in a kind of a way, they're like when you affirm things verbally, but you can also do these in your own mind. Well, it's like positive self-talk in the end, isn't it exactly? If you're using positive affirmations to talk to yourself, you know quietly inside your mind yes, you're going to have a great day, I can assure you. There's no way in hell you're going to have a bad day. It's just impossible. It is impossible, whereas you will be in hell if you, if you do not and you allow your negative self-talk to you know to take hold, and it and it's insidious.

Speaker 1: 13:00

And once you start doing it to yourself, it can continue for years and years and years and become a habit. And it's a habit that eventually comforts you because you're so used to it and you're so like it's gonna feel weird. There's no way about it. It's gonna feel weird when you first turn it around and you say something lovely about yourself. So if you're saying I look ugly today, if you say I look beautiful today, you're not gonna believe it. No, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, just do it.

Speaker 1: 13:34

That's the thing about that's a powerful thing. You don't have to believe it, you just have to say it to yourself and then laugh and think that's not true. You can even have that thought of thinking that's not true. Okay, I don't care, I can accept. That was a thought that comes. Who cares? I'm going to say it and I'm going to say it to myself and I'm going to believe it.

Speaker 1: 13:56

You know, eventually, yeah, if I don't believe it today, I keep on repeating it. Repetition every time you hear something I'm a bad person. No, you turn it around I'm a good person, yeah, I'm a good person. And you can even repeat it to yourself inside your mind I'm a good person. And you won't believe it. But eventually, day after day, I a good person. You'll start looking for solutions. I am beautiful, I am confident, I feel great, I am deserving, I am deserving. I'm deserving to take care of myself. I deserve to take care of myself because I deserve to be on this planet. I am important.

Speaker 1: 14:41

You know, you say these things to yourself and, yes, they're marvelous, aren't they? They are marvelous. And it's just so easy, really, because you don't really have to believe it. No, that's the good thing about it, that's the easy hack. It is an easy hack. You don't have to believe it, no, and you can have a laugh and you can think you're and you say, oh, what the hell am I saying to myself? This is ridiculous. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 15:08

And you know, like I started saying to myself years ago, every time I went up the stairs, I would say to myself with each step, I'm getting stronger and stronger and healthier and healthier with each step I take, so that when every time I'm in the house I have that, it's like unconscious program, now every time it fires up. Every time I go up a step, eat. With each step I take, I'm getting stronger and stronger and I can assure you I've been through lots of personal health challenges and I'm strong and I'm 58 and I'm here today. You know talking about this and so it does work. It works, I can tell you. You tell yourself these things. They work, they're powerful, it works. It's powerful anything, it's so powerful. So we want you to do this today. We challenge you to do this today. If you have negative self-talk, negative inner dialogue, turn it around, believe it. Don't believe it, we don't care, it doesn't matter. We're therapists and we're here to help you. Love and smiles from the english sisters.