How to Stop Poisoning Your Mind With Negative Thinking

We explore how negative thoughts poison not just our own minds but spread to those around us, creating a toxic cycle that leads to isolation and poor mental health.

• The "Five C's" of negative thinking: complaining, criticizing, concerning, commiserating, and catastrophizing
• Negative thought patterns are contagious and can cause others to unconsciously avoid us
• Simple techniques like wearing a rubber band on your wrist to catch yourself complaining
• The power of gratitude to interrupt negative thought loops
• How language choices directly impact your mental state
• Taking concrete action as an antidote to catastrophic thinking
• Breaking the habit of negative thinking through mindfulness and meditation
• Start with small periods of practicing gratitude to retrain your brain

If you find yourself struggling with these negative thought patterns, we'd love to hear from you in the comments. Our podcast is now heard in over 99 countries, and we're sending love to all our listeners!

Chapters

• 0:00 Negative Thoughts as Mental Poison
• 3:22 The Five C's of Negativity
• 5:20 Complaining and How to Stop
• 8:52 Breaking the Criticism Habit
• 11:55 Language's Effect on Mindset
• 15:22 Taking Action Against Catastrophizing
• 18:45 Becoming the Master of Your Mind

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

How to stop poisoning your mind With negative thoughts that aren't going to be of any help to you at all and they may end up making you feel depressed or feeling low or increase anxiety in you. Yeah, so we're therapists and we're here to help. So listen to this week's episode of get real with the english sisters mind, health and anxiety podcast. That will leave you smiling, absolutely smiling, because do you know that when you start smiling, you already start feeling better about yourself? Well, I think that's the first step to changing negative thoughts is start smiling and, even if it's a fake smile, change your physical appearance, so, even to yourself, so that your body will send a signal to your brain and saying hey, why are they smiling? I thought I felt rotten this morning. Yes, but you're smiling, and that will send signals over. Yeah, and it'll stop you from thinking negative thoughts. Yes, it'll stop you feeling. So it'll stop you poisoning your own mind. I mean, that's a strong word to say, but you know there are so many. It is poison. It is. It is because it leads to disease. Exactly. Yes, toxicity yes, difficult word yeah, it goes into your body, into your entire system. So it goes into your psyche and into your physical body as well and it spreads around other people. So this is something that you, once you become aware of, you can really take action.

Speaker 1: 1:44

Um, what you've said've said, jukka, is a good point that it's not just you, don't just keep it within yourself, this negativity. You do spread it to those around you. Oh, you absolutely spread it, people. They can intuitively feel sort of what's going on in your body. So if there's somebody that's around us that's feeling good and calm, we can perceive that energy, without knowing why we don't have to. As an unconscious unconscious, you know, animal beings that we are, we perceive that we are mammals, yeah, whereas if, if it's coming from you know, if that person has all these thoughts in their head that they're not doing them any good. You know, we kind of feel that as well, don't we? We can feel it and sadly, what can happen often is that we can isolate that person and not want to be around them. So, unconsciously or consciously too, we can say oh, no. And they might say do you want to do this? And we say, oh no, I'm busy, I'm not. No, no, you tend to push. Do you want to do this? And we'll say oh no, I'm busy I'm not. No, I'm not doing it. You tend to push them away. You push them away because they're not like, they're not fun, friendly people to be around. No, because you're picking up on all this negative energy.

Speaker 1: 2:55

So if this is you, you know you've got to become aware of the five C's, I think, that are going criticizing, if you find yourself always concerned, or commiserating, or cast catastrophizing, catastrophizing everything you know. Those are the five things you've got to become aware of. Look out for them, look out for them. So the first one is complaining. Yeah, how many?

Speaker 1: 3:35

So what you do is you end up complaining about the situation around you. You become a victim and you start complaining about your own personal. You know the things that you do as well, don't you? Well, you can complain about your personal appearance. You can complain there's nothing in the fridge. You can complain that you don't have enough money or finances, or that you don't like your job, or that there's a lot of rubbish in the street. It could be anything. So there's a lot of victimizing, isn't there? You have to notice that when you are in that mode and we all do it complaining yes, we all do there's not one of us on the planet that doesn't do it. No, no, but you can catch yourself, unless you're a buddhist monk or something. Yes, and even if you are a buddhist monk, today you had a journey that took you to get there to where you were. You didn't just become a buddhist mom, exactly, you know it. You went on this journey of self-awareness, yeah, in order to get right there. Yeah, so that would be to nip it in the bud straight away. Yeah, you know, just just end, stop complaining. And so how can you stop complaining?

Speaker 1: 4:42

Some people put a rubber band on their hands, on their wrist, a pink rubber band or blue or whatever color you want, and every time they hear themselves complaining, they swap it to the other hand, or they give themselves a little pull and a little ping, yeah, so that you can just become aware of it, and then turn it around and look for something that you're grateful for that you think, okay, I'm complaining about, yeah, uh, not having anything nice to wear, but let me look around. Oh, look, I do actually have that and that and that you know that I could wear if I wanted to. Or I'm complaining about the traffic. Yeah, I'm complaining about the traffic, but there's actually, I'm really lucky that I'm on public transport or that I'm in a car. You know, there's always something that you can be grateful for. Just the same way, you can complain about things. You can say nice things about things as well. And do you know what it's like? Contagious, because if you start saying nice things about a place or about a person yeah, that is your notice other people will join in and they'll say, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1: 5:47

And when I, the other day, I had I had I had a hospital visit and there were so many people waiting and I I could everyone was complaining, and then some I've been here, I've been here like for four hours and I said, yeah, I know. However, you know, once you actually get seen to, the doctors are great here. They really did help me. Honestly, that started this whole little murmur. Oh no, that is true, they are very good here. Oh yes, we're fortunate to have this hospital. We don't have to travel for miles and miles. Yeah, I started saying things like that and then it kind of spread because it was true, because I thought, yes, I can complain about the situation, but you know, I'm also very, very grateful for the help I've received from them. So you can.

Speaker 1: 6:35

You can become aware of the complaining, even your inner complaining, and you can remove that sort of or understand it. I think, yeah, definitely yeah. And and another thing to become aware of is, as we were saying, is criticizing. Do you find yourself criticizing others, criticizing yourself, criticizing yourself? A lot criticizing, yeah, food, everything, yeah. Like we were having a lovely meal the other day and the lady I was with she was, uh, saying that something wasn't right and this wasn't right and the other thing wasn't right. And I go, yeah, but well, you know, we've got lovely company, the you know the weather's been amazing, yeah, yeah. And then she said, oh, yes, that's true, well, who cares anyway, kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 7:22

So I think criticizing and and the first one, which is complaining, sort of go, they go all together, don't they? Because if you're complaining about something, you're also criticizing it. I think it's just another way of saying the same thing. Basically, you know, if you're somebody that's always going to be criticizing other people, criticizing your friends, criticizing the choice of, like what you were saying restaurants, foods, criticizing the whole wide world, there's so much to criticize if we want to. At the same time, we can also have, we can also look away and decide to see something else. We see the rubbish on the floor, or we see the daisies on the grass. What are we going to see? You know, in the end it's our choice, isn't it? It is, it is as we always say, it's our choice.

Speaker 1: 8:09

You can listen to bad news all the time, but you can also, you know, find out things, beautiful things that are happening in the world, people helping others, miracles that happen every day. It's it's well. Just being alive is a miracle really. So if we just go from that point, you know, if we just start from that perspective, that we can get out bed and up, and I mean we're already living with an attitude of gratitude, which already helps our day get along well and it stops poisoning our mind. If we just think I'm going to live with an attitude of gratitude today, you will find so many things to be grateful for. You do find so many things. It's practically impossible not to feel better if you do live in that state or try and be there for a couple of hours a day. You can start with half an hour, let's say like 30 minutes. You say for the first 30 minutes, or you know, whenever you want to, I'm. I'm not going to criticize, complain. I'm going to look around me and live with that attitude of gratitude. You know, I think it's Wow that does make such a difference. We can promise you it will change how you feel. It changes your life if you actually practice it. Yes, it does change your life. You're absolutely right. And the other one that we're going back to it was commiserating, commiserating, feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, they're all, basically all part of these. You know, these five C's are basically the same Poor me. Yes, they're all, basically all part of these. You know, these five C's are basically the same Poor me. Yes, poor me.

Speaker 1: 9:48

You go back, you're finding ways to feel sorry for yourself and for your situation. So, oh dear, you know there's nothing I can do. I married this person. Now, look, I'm stuck with him. Look, I'm stuck with him. I'm stuck with you know, yeah, what can I do that? My kids are just rude. What can I do? There's nothing I can do about it.

Speaker 1: 10:11

You know you, you hear this all the time with people that do tend to have a lot of, you know, negative and negative, yeah, negative language, yes, absolutely so. The language you use, I think as well, um, really affects you. So if you're using a lot of negative words all the time, complaining words you know, watch out for, for the language that you're speaking, the words that you're using, you may notice that if you're learning a new language, that your, your whole personality might change because you don't know all the negative words. So I see that personally with my husband whenever he's at, because he's Italian. But whenever I I sort of want to lighten the mood, I might start saying a few words in English and then he might start answering me and have a little laugh and then start answering me in English If I ever say answer me in English.

Speaker 1: 11:05

His English still isn't very good, but he finds that that will change how he's. You know he Well, it makes him laugh immediately. It makes, yeah, puts him in a good mood. It does, and then he can't use the Italian words that he would put him in a bad mood. No Negative words For, like commiserating himself. He does not know them. He knows only the good ones actually. So he doesn't know. He knows the worst of. When he first met you yeah, he had to be delightful to you. Yeah, dancing in the night. He says all these little things that are quite, you know, cliche, but he always has a little laugh with them. Oh, my beautiful, you know, and little cute things, and and that that puts him in a good mood. Yeah, because it's a different language. The language you use definitely does affect your mind and your brain, so it's so important to change it. Yeah, so that's another one.

Speaker 1: 11:58

And then the last one was what we were saying catastrophizing. You find yourself catastrophizing, you know. Oh no, if I do that exam, it's going to go wrong, because this, this, you know who you are out there, there are lots of you that do that. You've got to become aware of it, yeah, yeah, because it's going to be like the world's going to end if I don't, you know, this is going to happen and the world's going to end, end and I'm not gonna be able to get up tomorrow morning. I just can't. You know, if I get, if I lose this job, I'll never be able to find another job. I'll never, never, never. I can't find it. What, what I don't have, I don't know what to do. Leave me, I'll never, I'll go and god knows what I'll do. I can't, I can't cope, you know.

Speaker 1: 12:38

Be be aware of also these if you are in in a relationship with someone that's very, very negative, you know, get them to go and seek help, because it will affect your life as well. Yes, it will be. You know it will stop you from living a full and happy, mindful life too. Absolutely, yes, because it can. Yeah, it does affect you, whether it's you yourself that's doing it will certainly get to you and to the others. But it's also true that if you are living with somebody that does tend to have a very you know, doom and gloom and everything is, oh, such a catastrophe all the time and everything's so heavy, yes, like the world's gonna end. Yes, also, even if you're really influenced by the political situation as well and you end up having someone that's always catastrophizing, it's very, um, it's also very hard on your mental health because in the end, it gets to you as well. So you have to ask it to you, you have to look, stop doing it and then look for, look for yes, because it will. In in the end, what happens is it puts you into that fight or flight mode as well, instead of being into that calm mode because you're, you kind of feel like you're not. You can't be relaxed if you do have somebody that is catastrophizing all the time, or not all the time, but a lot of the time. They tend to do that. You know it's.

Speaker 1: 14:05

It's difficult for you as well, especially if you find yourself being like pulled in by all the negative also negative talk on the, on the news and things, and you're constantly watching how you find you. You're like looking for it because that's what your mind is used to. You're used to all this negativity so you just keep looking for it. It's a habit. It doesn't necessarily make you feel good, but you become used to this thing of. You know always criticizing, always complaining, always catastrophizing. You know all of these things become part of your habit and if you don't do them, you think, well, you know, what do I do? You know the world isn't all roses and beautiful. You know enjoyable moments, there's horror out there and there's meanness and nasty stuff. That goes on all the time. And so what do I do? You know well, you have to be.

Speaker 1: 15:10

If you change your mindset and you, you throw out all this poison and negativity. You can be like the famous word, the famous phrase you can be the change in the world. If you change your world, the world around you will change, the people around you will start feeling calmer because you will feel you will be aware of what's going on in your mind. You can become the master of your mind. We say this all the time because we know it to be true, not only because we're therapists, because we've done this on ourselves as well and we have years and years of experience in this. And once you can, you can.

Speaker 1: 15:51

It doesn't mean you're going to become a buddha, you know a monk. It means that you're just going to become aware of what, how your mind is working. Is it working in a way that's going to be helpful to you or is it working in a way that's not going to be helpful? It's unhelpful. And you know, if you start with this, you know you can see yourself, you can hear yourself. If you start with a complaining, with a criticizing, catastrophizing all the time, all of these things, you know that it's not going to be a good path for you. No way, no way, no way. It's not the way. It's not the way to go. It's not the way.

Speaker 1: 16:32

If you're living in that state and you're doing a mental exercise, you have to retrain your brain. It's like when you go to the gym you know you're going to have to make an exercise of saying, ok, I'm going to start with living in a state of gratitude for you know, for, yeah, what? For the whole day. It might be a lot for some of you, but you can just chunk it down off track. You will. You will have negative thoughts, but you can turn them around. Yes, you can interrupt the pattern of the thought, because we have thoughts that go like in patterns, loops. You're in loops, yes, you can interrupt them. You can. You can catch yourself thinking, oh, start with a complaining, and then, oh, no, that's it, I've started it, I'm going to stop it now. You can control your mind like that, can't you? Yeah, it's quite fascinating, and then you can actually enjoy doing it. I mean, it can become an exercise you can actually quite enjoy doing. Let me catch for practice. Let me catch myself out. How many times am I going to complain today? How many times am I going to criticize others and myself? How many times am I going to show concern about something or I'm going to commiserate myself? How many times am I going to catastrophize today? Make it an exercise. I'd also like to add to if you find yourself that you're catastrophizing about something, whatever it is.

Speaker 1: 17:57

If you take action, you'll, you'll. You'll feel relief, won't you? Well, normally you do. If you take action, it's action. What's in the mind? So if you're worried about, like, you know, your personal appearance, you know your personal appearance, or you know that your doctor's told you you're overweight or You've had a diagnosis that might be worrying you, you take action. So you go and you take practical steps. So you go for a walk, you start a walking habit, or you go and you book a doctor's appointment, or you go and you, you know if it's a political issue you go and help. Or you go and give aid, you do volunteer, yes. Or if you're doing, you're less in the, you're less inside yourself and more out in the world, helping other people, which will make you feel good and stop negativity. It will absolutely. You have to get out of your own mind and into the world and into the moment, and you will feel a lot calmer.

Speaker 1: 18:58

And obviously, if you practice mindfulness, which is it's easy to practice, just spend a few moments, you know, thinking about your breath and thinking about all the things that you're gratitude, you're grateful for positive affirmations you can use. I mean, there's so much out there. You can listen to one of our meditations on youtube. We have so many longer meditations. Yes, yes, we do. You know meditations you can listen to and or make you feel good and help you with this overthinking. Yes, absolutely well. Well, I think, yes, you know.

Speaker 1: 19:35

If you have any thoughts about this, if you find yourself doing any of these things, please do let us know right in the comment section. We're so happy when we hear your voice and what you have to say about this, because it's it's really special. Yeah, when we do get your messages and we love it and we will answer you as well. Yeah, and the podcast is now being listened to in over 99 countries. Hey, so we're saying hello to all of you and and we're sending you love, love, love, lots and lots of love, love and smiles from the english sisters. We're therapists and we're here to help you. Bye, bye, bye.