Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Feeling Anxious? Feel calmer and get much needed anxiety relief. Listen to Mind, Health, Anxiety with The English Sisters the podcast show for mental health that will give you the tools you need to manage your life and your anxiety. Anxiety and overwhelm is on the rise today and most of us experience it in some form or other. The English Sisters, Violeta and Jutka Zuggo are clinical hypnotherapists, business women, authors, wives and mother’s of wonderful grown up children! As hosts of their show they chat about real stuff that empowers, excites and inspires well-being! Always looking to share their point of view and expertise on how you can manage your anxiety and mental health so as to enjoy life! Sharing their experiences to help you live a calmer, happier, fuller and more relaxed life. If you are in need of anxiety relief and want to learn how to manage your mental health, follow Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety so as not to miss an episode! New episode weekly every Wednesday!
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
The Hidden Voices That Hold Us Back: Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
That voice in your head saying you're not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough? It's not telling the truth. It's a limiting belief – and it may have been programmed into you decades ago without your knowledge or consent.
We had a lightbulb moment when we first learned about limiting beliefs at a seminar years ago. The life coach asked us to identify beliefs holding us back, and suddenly we realized how many thoughts we'd accepted as truth were actually just installed beliefs from childhood experiences. For me, it was an art teacher who dismissed my creative work at age six, making me believe I had no artistic talent – a belief that later prevented me from pursuing fashion design despite my natural creativity and sewing skills. For my sister, it was struggles with what was likely undiagnosed dyscalculia being treated as stupidity, creating a lifelong belief about her mathematical abilities.
These limiting beliefs don't just create small obstacles – they fundamentally reshape our lives, our choices, and even our dreams. The most insidious part is how they become self-fulfilling prophecies through constant reinforcement. We tell ourselves "I'm not good at that" or "I don't know how to do that" so often that we never even try. We might even forget what we originally wanted to do as our perceived limitations overwhelm our aspirations.
The good news? Once you identify a limiting belief, you can challenge it. Is it actually true? Could you learn? What if you simply added "yet" to the end of "I don't know how to do that"? This small cognitive shift opens doors to possibilities that limiting beliefs had previously closed. Whether it's learning to drive, starting a business, becoming a parent, or pursuing art – the first step is recognizing the belief that's holding you back.
What limiting belief will you break free from this week? Share your journey with us on social media or leave a comment on YouTube. Remember, it's never too late to challenge these beliefs and rediscover dreams you might have abandoned long ago.
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Break free from your limiting beliefs this week. Yay, yay, let's do it. Let's try and become more aware of what's weighing us down and what kind of beliefs that we actually have. Could be a number of them, could be lots of them. We used to have so many, definitely. We did so. Listen to this week's episode on get real with the english sisters. Come and see us on youtube, too, where we have the full video and podcast version, both available and wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening. Take a deep breath.
Speaker 1:I remember when we first how many times have we said this? When we first learned about limiting beliefs, it was a light bulb moment for us. It was such a light bulb moment You're so right because it was a shock. Yeah, I really didn't know they existed. No, when the life coach we went to this like seminar, wasn't it? And he said just each one of you, think about what kind of beliefs do you have that are actually limiting you? And and and there was, there was just so many old beliefs. Well, I just thought, just didn't even know that you had these beliefs in the first place. I thought belief was just like a religious belief or a I don't know. I didn't think that we had we believed things about ourselves that could make such a huge difference to our lives. And to stop our emotional awareness, to stop stopping us from being able to do things, yeah, just like the belief. Um, no, I'm not good enough to do that, I'm not competent enough, I'm not clever enough, I'm not artistic or creative enough. I mean, how many times have we all said these things to ourselves? And where do they actually form these beliefs? Well, they're forming childhood, don't they? A lot of the times, or from past trauma, we have a voice in our head saying that you're not good enough to do that or you're just not that kind of person.
Speaker 1:I mean, I remember in our art lessons, do you remember? We had that art teacher who was all full of herself but really she was not a good teacher. And I remember doing some drawings and I was so little they said she would say they were rubbish. And yeah, she came by and like I think I had a piece of clay and I was doing something. Really she goes well, what are you trying to do with that? And it was that kind of expression on her face that sort of made me start believing. Oh, I'm not good at this, and then afterwards it was just the whole of art in general. You know, if I ever wanted to draw something and I had a natural tendency to want to paint and to want to draw, like 99% of kids do but I was stunted by the belief that was set like six or seven already so young by this very egocentric teacher who who was not a good teacher, it was a contrary and and installed those beliefs.
Speaker 1:There was only one or two children in the class that she loved and she would clap and say, oh, now that's good. Peace, you know, that's what we can define good. And all the rest of the stuff that all of us did was just. And then she wouldn't teach you how to do things either. No, no, because she would just give you a piece of clay and say, yeah, she wouldn't say, look, this is how to draw a house or this is how to give you some structure. To teach you how to do things. Nothing, you, how to do things nothing. I mean now, if you look online on, on YouTube, how to draw a human face, yes, it's so easy. The way they break things down of how to draw things, yes, yes, yes. But that that in me blocked all of my creativity as a kid, you know, and I still think about that today, because there was some.
Speaker 1:I love color, I love, I love painting, I would, but but that kind of limited me and I thought, you know, as an adult that's definitely one limiting belief. So are you going to break free from that this week? I already have, I already have, yeah, but you're going to actually draw something or paint something I might? You said you love colour. I do love it. I love it so much. And you know my husband, he loves painting. Yeah, you know, yes, so much. And you know my husband, he loves painting. Yeah, you know, yes, very much. So maybe you could have that project this week. I could. That would be very relaxing To paint something together.
Speaker 1:Maybe that would be lovely. I think I will. If we've got time, definitely. Well, if that's not good enough, it's making time, it's making time. You're right If we've got time. You see you're already blocking us now. No, because I was just thinking this weekend he actually has to work, so it's a particular. But next weekend you can still have an hour though, can't you? If he has to work, yeah, absolutely, an hour in the evening or whatever. Yeah, he's actually got a lot of his paint brushes and, yeah, his paints. Well, even if he has to work, you don't. So you could do it, I could do it and I think I would really enjoy it. Actually, some margaritas or flowers, yeah, something, something I like absolutely and just mixing colors, I love it.
Speaker 1:And I was thinking, you know, she, she, that teacher, installed that belief in me, and the other teacher was the other one who was like I had great difficulty understanding numbers and they would just like mix up, and which is what nowadays are probably part of dyslexia. You know, I don't know exactly what it's called Dyscalculus. Yes, it's like when you could the numbers just, and the numbers were just moving around on the blackboard. So I had really really great difficulty in being able to add up or subtract, and so that was another great disadvantage for me and, once again, instead of being helped, I was, I used to hide under the table, you know, and I used to get hit, because in those days we were, you know, they would still hit in schools, in English schools, and so that certainly formed the belief that I was very, very bad at anything to do with mathematics, and I formed a very quick belief that numbers would always run away from me and I would never be able to to make them stand still and being able to do things with them, and so I totally gave up on that.
Speaker 1:Now, as an adult, I've kind of I find ways to to help myself. I found ways to help myself and to understand it a little bit more and to learn. You can learn how to do things. I learn how to do things and I've learned how to. Just because you haven't got uh, maybe with numbers particularly, but you could, you still got very much a business mind now. Yes, so that doesn't. You know. Things can translate in different ways. Yes, absolutely you can use.
Speaker 1:So if you're thinking here, I've got a limiting belief that's stopping me from whatever. It is learning how to drive, or oh, yeah, that's another big one. Isn't it difficult? I mean I had to take my driving test seven times, or six or seven, I can't remember exactly. I just kept going until I got it and I just thought, no, I'm not giving up on this. No, it was a really important skill. Now, if I had to, I mean, I just didn't even understand what the roads did or anything. It was just like it was part of. I think, yes, because we both have it. Yeah, this is this dyslexia, dyspraxia, whatever it is, but we were never diagnosed. But now, as as adults, obviously we realize that's what it was. Yeah, that's absolutely what it was.
Speaker 1:Anymore, as an adult, I can look and see things in different ways. I've broken free from those beliefs as well that maybe I had about myself. Yeah, yeah, you still might have it to a certain extent, but what you can do is you can appreciate the fact that you've got it and and help yourself in other ways. You can find tools to help yourself or you know. So, in the end, we've got to all realize that we all do have limiting beliefs, and they are formed very young many times, or they're formed by a parent a lot of the time that you know that might make us feel we're not good enough, or I think that as well. I'm thinking we do often, um, try to combat this, this thing, naturally, but then we get demoralised because we don't actually understand it's a limiting belief.
Speaker 1:I think once you can classify it, it's a limiting belief, it just makes things so much easier because you can just say no, is that true? No, well, maybe it is true today. Maybe today I'm not good at painting, but if I took an art class, I would be good at it. Or painting, but if I took an art class, yes, I would be good at it. Or maybe I don't need an art class and I can just do what. Whatever I want to do on a, on a piece of paper, on cameras, I can just paint for myself. Do you know? You know, yes, but I'm can.
Speaker 1:I'm imagining, if you're a little bit of a perfectionist, you might not be happy with just messing around, dabbling, no, so dabbling. So then you would. You, would you, if you really wanted to become competent at something? There's nothing actually stopping you from actually learning how to do it properly with someone that's going to motivate and inspire you and teach you as an, as as teaching should be, yeah, as as learn, to really learn, and not to be demoralized and put down, and put down exactly and made to feel that you're not good enough at something, that you'll never be good enough at that. And I think you're right.
Speaker 1:All of these beliefs that we have once we suddenly it's like the light bulb that we had Once we realize, hey, is this true? Or maybe that's also a limiting belief of mine. Maybe I have a belief that I'm never going to be good at driving, or I I'm never going to be able to own my business because I don't have good math skills, for example or is that really true, yeah? Or good business, business mindset to know how to, like, do my taxes and everything. But you can actually get people to help you do that. Nobody knows that at the beginning. You learn it as you go along, and nowadays you can really read stuff online. You can learn so much so so you, you don't necessarily have to know everything immediately.
Speaker 1:No, you might be one of these people that's had this limiting belief about yourself that you couldn't say become a doctor because you just wouldn't be able to go through with it, because someone's told you and put you down, and you can just say today could be the day when you just free yourself from that and say, no, I'm actually going to study to be a doctor, I'm going to take a degree, I'm going to do whatever it takes to do it, and you can maybe start small by being helping out or being, you know, doing something of a voluntary thing. It's step by step, it is step by step and literally step by step, you will start knocking down those blocks, yeah, that that are limiting you and that are forming this belief. Because what happens is that once you see yourself actually achieving something, then you can question whether that belief is really 100 accurate and what exactly was it based on? Because if it's, if it's something that you do not want to do, then that's not a limiting belief. That is perhaps a belief that is actually helping you in some way. You know, you believe, yeah, but you might have had a dream of something that, secretly, you would have loved to do, but you just feel that, deep down in your heart, you're not good enough and that deep down in your heart is not a real deep down in your heart. It's because you have a limiting belief around that. That is so true Because someone has installed it in you, or the environment, because we're all born with that being able to the capacity to have infinite possibilities to do whatever we want to do. Yes, you're so right, it's deep down inside. What is this deep down inside? Deep down inside your gut tells you one thing and then your limiting belief pushes it down. So that's what happens, because you know there's something that you want to do, but then the limiting belief comes along and pushes it. And pushes it sometimes so deep down that you even forget. You even forget to dream, you forget to dream, you forget what you actually wanted to do in the first place and you become just overwhelmed by it and you start listening to everybody else and all of their ideas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and a lot of people might try and discourage you as well, saying it's too difficult, it's too expensive, you haven't got this, you weren't born in the right place, you do not have the right kind of culture for that. You're not, we're not that kind of family. I mean, I've heard this so many times, this belief installed in younger people no, we're not in, we don't, you know, that's not in our family sort of lie. You know we don't, we're not. You know like, for example, business people. No, no, you know we're all doctors or something the opposite, academics. You can't start just suddenly opening up your own business. That's not you, that's not the kind of people we are. Come on, each one of us has something that we know we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think a lot of it gets reinforced with auto-suggestion, because you auto-suggest to yourself again and again about this limiting belief. So you keep saying you're not good at it, you don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I'm not good at that. Oh, my drawing is terrible. Oh my my driving is. Oh, I'm a really bad driver.
Speaker 1:We had that funny story about our dad and we. Once we went away and we said can you look after the fish for us, because we had a little fish pond. And he said I don't know how to feed the fish. And I thought what? You don't know how to feed the fish, dad, come on, you just put a little bit of food.
Speaker 1:So now, whenever we reinforce our limiting belief that we say we don't know, I don't know how to feed the fish, yeah, you can have that as well. I mean, you learn to feed the fish. It's easier. It's easier than what you think it is, and even if it's not, it's putting yourself through that little challenge. Isn't it all that big challenge? But you're going to challenge your own belief set and you want once you understand that it's there because it's a sneaky thing, and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy once you start repeating that belief to yourself over and over again. So let's use this to our advantage.
Speaker 1:We can say things like I don't know how to do that yet exactly. I maybe wasn't competent at that, but I'm going to, you know, do my very best to become competent at that. You can change things. You can have a belief set that for you, anything is possible. You can believe that. You can start believing that and say I don't know how to do it, no, but I can learn, and I sure as hell I'm going to try and learn, and you all know that we're all about lifelong learning, so there's plenty of time for everything isn't there. There is, there is. Learning doesn't stop when you get to 18 or 20 or 24. Let us know what you're going to break free from this week.
Speaker 1:Yes, which limiting belief you are and I'm sure you may have a few, as we did and it's amazing how it can really change your. I mean, you might be deciding what to do now, what university to go to, or maybe you're a bit older and you're deciding what, like some people have the belief, for instance, I couldn't be a parent, I'm not a good mother, or I'm not a good father. That's rubbish, it's just, it's not if you want to be a mother or a father or a parent. You can do it, because all you really need is love and good intention, and then you can learn how to do all the tricky bits in between. I remember once when I was going to become a mum, I remember reading in this book and it said if you've already bought this book about how to become a good parent, you already are. Exactly that was in the introduction. So I think, like what you were saying, the intention of even already even worrying about becoming a good parent is because your intention is to become a good parent, and if you didn't have good parents, you can break free from that too. It doesn't mean that you're not going to be a good parent. You're going to become aware of everything in a different kind of way for your future, exactly.
Speaker 1:And I didn't go to fashion school. I wanted to go to fashion university because I thought I wasn't good at drawing because of this, this teacher that we both had. That said, we weren't artistic and I never did learn how to do it. And they're just simple sketches you have to do, which now, as a fully grown adult, I realize it was the most stupid thing of all time, but anyway, my life turned out very well and I have no regrets that I didn't do that and I can still do it if I want to. That I didn't do that and I can still do it if I want to.
Speaker 1:But it just goes to show how a limiting belief can really change the the course of your life, and for the better or for the worse. In my case, it was for the better, because I'm perfectly happy and satisfied with it. But it does. It does make you wonder. I do think about it and I think, gosh, it was. Could have been a totally different life. Absolutely it could have been. Just imagine if you had somebody you didn't have the free, for example, freedom to choose, because you just had this limiting belief.
Speaker 1:So it's not like I said okay, I could easily learn to sketch, but I still want to do languages or philosophy or whatever I did. But it's, it's because it you're hurting yourself because you're thinking, no, I won't do that because I'm not good at that. Exactly just for one small thing. Yes, yeah, because for the rest of it I was excellent at sewing and very creative, so the rest of it I could have easily done. It would have been a breeze? Yeah, it would have been a breeze because you were very, very creative. Yeah, I think we were both creatives and we were both put down. Put down, yeah, I was gonna say yes, I won't. No, no, no system not by our parents. Entirely true, because I did have a lovely English teacher who would always say lovely stories you're writing, well done, well done. So she did encourage that part of the storytelling, you know, and that has continued. But apart from that, you know, the rest of it was pretty. I do hope it's not like that today.
Speaker 1:But if it is and you're a parent, become aware of it. And you know, if you do have kids and they start talking about, start saying no, I'm not good at that, you know you can always question it and remind them. You know you can teach them about limiting beliefs because once they do understand yeah, they do. You know children understand this. We taught our children at very young age what they were. Now they come back with it if ever I say anything. My grown-up. So to my mom, that's a limiting belief you have.
Speaker 1:What happened to limiting? I actually said, no, I can't drive at night the other day and my 25 year old son, mom, that is a limiting belief. You've got special glasses for driving at night, you can easily do it and I thought, yes, that is that is. That is very true. It's also a belief that you know it's not. It's kind of something that I find quite convenient. Yes, you know, because I don't want to do it, but it's also because, yeah, I was frightened of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but wouldn't it be freeing if you could drive? Yes, absolutely, I mean, I thought you'd drive at night because I really can't see at night. I've got that night blindness. But you can, I can now. So you should probably free yourself from that. No, I have free practice. I have. Yes, I've done it. I mean, when I needed to do it, I've done it exactly. Yes, okay, let us know what you're gonna break free from this week and, as always, thank you for listening, available on wherever you get your podcasts, also on youtube. Come and say hi. Lots of love and smiles from that english sisters. Bye.
