Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Feeling Anxious? Feel calmer and get much needed anxiety relief. Listen to Mind, Health, Anxiety with The English Sisters the podcast show for mental health that will give you the tools you need to manage your life and your anxiety. Anxiety and overwhelm is on the rise today and most of us experience it in some form or other. The English Sisters, Violeta and Jutka Zuggo are clinical hypnotherapists, business women, authors, wives and mother’s of wonderful grown up children! As hosts of their show they chat about real stuff that empowers, excites and inspires well-being! Always looking to share their point of view and expertise on how you can manage your anxiety and mental health so as to enjoy life! Sharing their experiences to help you live a calmer, happier, fuller and more relaxed life. If you are in need of anxiety relief and want to learn how to manage your mental health, follow Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety so as not to miss an episode! New episode weekly every Wednesday!
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Your Mind is a Chemical Lab: Why Complaining Hurts More Than You Think
Have you ever noticed how some people always find something to complain about, while others maintain a positive outlook despite life's challenges? This fascinating episode dives into the neuroscience behind habitual complaining and reveals how our brains literally rewire themselves based on our thought patterns.
"Neurons that fire together, wire together" isn't just a catchy phrase—it's the scientific explanation for why chronic complainers become increasingly skilled at spotting problems everywhere. We explore how complaining creates physical tension in your body, potentially manifesting as headaches and other stress-related symptoms, while creative visualization techniques can interrupt negative thought spirals.
The conversation distinguishes between healthy, strategic venting (time-limited, solution-focused sharing) and harmful chronic complaining that leaves everyone feeling drained. You'll discover practical techniques to break the complaint cycle, including sensory visualization exercises that shift your focus from negativity to present-moment awareness. Through compelling personal stories, including a powerful example of managing pain during a medical procedure through mindset shifts, we demonstrate how redirecting your attention can transform your experience of difficult situations.
Most powerfully, we share a simple daily practice: limit complaining to 10-15 minutes, then identify two things you're grateful for. This small habit can gradually retrain your brain to notice positives as readily as it once noticed negatives, creating a more peaceful default state. Whether you're dealing with physical discomfort, workplace stress, or relationship challenges, the mindset tools in this episode offer a pathway to greater serenity without requiring perfect external circumstances.
Ready to transform your relationship with complaining and discover how relaxation can become your friend rather than a distant goal? Listen now, and take the first step toward rewiring your brain for greater peace and happiness in everyday moments.
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When does complaining become a bit of a pain? When does it become a problem for our mental health? Yeah, I think the problem is that the more you complain, the more you rewire your brain into that kind of motion, and we know that neurons that fire together, they wire together, they wire together, they wire together. So the more you complain, the more you get better at complaining and the more you see problems wherever you go. So do you remember, just a second ago we were saying it's hot in here, isn't it? Yes, it is. And then we said, no, we'll reframe that into thinking oh, it's actually lovely in here, because we were cold with the AC, where we were before, exactly.
Speaker 1:So listen to this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters Mind health and anxiety, where relaxation becomes your friend. Oh, isn't that a lovely thing to say. I think that's what we have to look for. Yes, I think it is. We have to make friends with relaxation, with hope, with joy, learning that serenity really can be our default, and it doesn't have to be something that we have to go away on a holiday to gain serenity. We can have serenity within us. Yeah, I like that, because a lot of the times we're always running away, aren't we? We're looking for escapism and we're looking for something different to give us that serenity we're always chasing. Well, more often than not, that's what we tend to do. We think, oh, when I get away, when I go on holiday, when I finish this, when I'll do that, then I'll be finally free and I'll be able to enjoy life. But I think, you know, the more life goes on, the more you begin to realize that's not really true and you can have serenity here and now. Yeah, well, you can have serenity with a massive to-do list, can't you? Yes, you can. When you're very busy, you can still find those moments of joy, happiness and serenity.
Speaker 1:Because the truth is like what you were saying as life goes on, you realize that life is never going to be perfect. You're never going to have 100% of everything that you really want. There's always going to be something that's like niggling away at you or bothering you, if you allow it to. You have to kind of learn to appreciate that space in between those moments, the space in between the things you're doing. It's like if you have to always cook a meal, but you learn to maybe put some music on and learn to be in the moment while you're cooking, and allow your mind to feel serenity, instead of feeling or thinking about thoughts that in your mind that bring you to complain about your life, about your situation, about other people, about the world, the politics. That's what is not going to be helpful for you in the long run, is it? Well, it isn't, and I think there is a culture now of complaining.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so many of us do tend to default into complaining and moaning about things, and yet one thing is like venting or sharing a problem with a friend or a loved one, yes, or even a colleague. That's one thing is to, you know, to talk about something and like get it off your chest because, yes, it's worrying you and that's really healthy. That is healthy because that's like strategic venting, like you allocate a time you say, oh, I need to talk to you about this. This is what we discovered we used to do because, I mean, we're, we're just like everybody else. We used to moan and complain and big complaints and complaints and complaints, and in the end, we started realising gosh, do I actually feel better after this? No, after this chat, am I just complaining my life away? Yeah, I felt drained, I felt tired after all that complaining, and so in the end, I remember thinking I think I should just like.
Speaker 1:And so in the end, I remember thinking I think I should just like allegate, like when I see VLS like five to 10 minutes of strategic complaining, like just venting things out, but solution focused, because I would complain and then say, well, can you help me find a solution? What kind of action can I take to relieve these symptoms? Yeah, and a lot of the time there was no action, but you just got it. There was action, though, because you would give me strategic advice and tips on how to help with my family issues, my husband work related issues. You would actually really help me, I would, but a lot of the times it is just a question of getting something off your chest and then maybe tell you know, sometimes I would say, well, you know, maybe you shouldn't talk as much, or something that seems like a silly thing. Yeah, you know, maybe you should.
Speaker 1:When someone's telling you something, instead of immediately reacting to it, you should just take a step back. Yes, yes, talk about, talk about it. Yeah, you know, sometimes it's just something so easy you wouldn't even think it was like anything. It was just like? That's not really easy, though, is it? A lot of the times when you're with somebody that's particularly litigious person or you know they're going to quickly go into the defensive, you might feel that you have to be on the defensive as well, yeah, and you're under attack. So sometimes it is hard to just. You know, we used to say we're going to stop talking about this now because it's just getting us down. Yeah, that's what I mean, and then we would change the subject and talk about something it was fun. Yeah, something that would lead our mind to creation. Yeah, creative or productive, because it is really quite easy to get out of the complaining. If you become more creative, that's a good one. You know you can. Yeah, because the two c's but instead of complaining, you can become creative.
Speaker 1:I think you know you can bring yourself back into that sensory experience really quickly. You know there's this old thing about how they say just imagine smelling an orange or a lemon. Yeah, you know, that's a really quick tip. So if you find you're in this massive complaining even to yourself, you can stop a moment and think okay, now I'm going to just close your eyes a minute, if you can obviously not if you're driving we repeatedly say this and you can obviously not.
Speaker 1:If you're driving we repeatedly say this and you can visualize a lemon and imagine. You know, sometimes when you cut a lemon or orange open, it might you know, there might be a few of those the zest, yeah, that acidic zest comes up, it might go into your nose and you can imagine that scent. And you can, if you want. You can. If it's an orange, you can imagine eating and it's juicy and you can imagine that scent. And you can, if you want, you can. If it's an orange, you can imagine eating and it's juicy and you can imagine the taste and you can begin to bring yourself out of the complaining by bringing yourself back into your body that way, into the present. Yeah, because you're thinking of something creative. You're imagining the scenario, because we know it's not really there. So you're being creative. See, I think a lot of times people think that being creative actually means writing or painting, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1:It can be as simple as that. Allow your mind to be a little bit more. Yeah, you can imagine you're putting your hand into a cool river and touching the pebbles, which would be rather pleasant. Yeah, your hand and your wrist into this cool river of flowing water sounds lovely right now. You know, take your socks off, put your feet in there and you can come out.
Speaker 1:It's amazing how our body does react to what our mind is thinking. So I'm thinking, if you are complaining, your body will react too. So you'll have tension, you'll be holding tension in your body. It could give you headaches. Uh, other other, you know, tummy problems or you know all kind of these kind of things can come from this state of complaining. So it might seem that you're not really doing yourself much harm.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm just venting, I'm just complaining about this. You don't probably don't even realize you're complaining, because the truth is that most of us don't. Most of us just get up in the morning and we are, we, yeah. We usually start moaning to ourselves oh no, I've got this and I've got that and I've got to go to work and look what's happened on the news and blah, blah, blah. And then we might meet a colleague or your partner and then you rant about whatever you saw, about work, about work or about the news, like this morning my husband. The first thing he said to me was did you hear about that and that? And it was just one big rant, it was said.
Speaker 1:My daughter's fiancé was telling her that he was having a massive rant with his colleague, but then in the end they said, oh, life is great, isn't it? And she said that they just changed the whole atmosphere because it was a lovely sunny day and they were just enjoying the moment. And they suddenly realised, yeah, but they were just enjoying the moment and they suddenly realized, but they were ranting on about world politics, something I don't know what, exactly what they were talking about. But they said, oh, but isn't life great? And then they, they quickly changed it, they changed the whole mood and they were all happy that that that's a wonderful thing to do. So that was like they had a little rant, they a little vent, and then they came back into the present. What they're actually doing now, which Most of the time it isn't that bad for most of us, we are fortunate, exactly Most.
Speaker 1:You know, our basic needs are usually met and we're not. Complaining is a tricky one, because it can become a social habit, and you can also find that people that are in great pain they work with that pain instead of complaining about it, and then their lives can just change from one minute to the next, can't they? You know, in physical pain as well, we know, as hypnotherapists, yes, that you can, you can change it like what? Like what we did just now when we felt so hot, yes, we thought, isn't it lovely to feel the hot breeze? And then we're immediately like I feel really cool now. Yeah, I feel better. Yeah, yeah, so you can, you can.
Speaker 1:Your mind is like a chemical lab. It can produce chemicals for you. It certainly can. I've had a few nasty tests done on me and I can tell you, if your mind like health tests for visits and stuff, if your mind is focused in a, you know, in a place that's calm and serene and you feel privileged to be able to get that, you know because I always feel privileged, because I think, well, you know, I'm lucky to be able to have these tests and lucky to be able to have, you know, medical staff looking after me, then you're in a much better place. And if you're in a state of complaining where you know you can have I mean, I had a lady next to me once I had to do this like weird blood test.
Speaker 1:It was an oxygen test and they had very painful it was. Yeah, well, I mean, luckily you hypnotized me before I went in so you didn't feel anything, I know, I mean I felt like minor, minor pain, burning or something like that, because I had my eyes closed the whole time. But what happened is that that I there was a lady next to me who was having the same procedure done and the poor lady was like literally shouting yeah and and I was just focused on the I. I took my attention, I sort of came out of my body and started placing all my attention on the nurse and asking about how she was today. And you know, I remember at one point she said look, darling, you know, this is, this is about you, and I was she, but it was helping me to ask about her and she told me all her stuff about her two kids while she was doing the procedure and I was. I, I managed to do it and I did feel burning, etc. But I was okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was nothing bad. That was proof for me that, wow the mind, yes, the power of your own mind, the power of my own mind. And so we can take that back into any example of life. And the more we focus on what is causing us pain physical, psychological, worry the worse it actually gets, I think, and the more the more you can like. In my case, when I was doing that thing, that was painful. I was focused on another person. So I think that if we can get out of our own heads and step into other people's shoes and imagine how were they feeling, how, how were they feeling? Well, exactly, it's true. Yeah, I'm going on a bit of a rant. No, it's not easy for them either, because they know they have to do this really painful that's.
Speaker 1:I remember feeling empathy for her because she was going. Oh, I'm so sorry, darling, she was so sweet. I'm so sorry, darling, this is going to be painful, and I thought, don't tell me that. But you know, she was like sort of, yeah, she was preparing me. I'm so sorry, you know. You know blah, blah, blah and I was going that's okay, don't, don't worry about it, you know. And thinking, I looked at her and I thought obviously you'd put me into kind of like a trance, like state, because you were very relaxing just the other day.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about that procedure and I was thinking, gosh, now you came out of it saying it was fine, I came out of it. It was hilarious because I actually came out of it. Oh, that was it. That's what happened. When I came out, I was like still like oh, oh, la, da, da. And then about 20 minutes later I thought, ouch, you know, my arm is killing me. Do you remember? I thought how, like, what on earth, like my body was saying something's happened to my arm. You know, because arm is killing me, do you remember? I thought how well I, what on earth, like my body was saying something's happened to my arm. You know, because I'd had this. It's like I can't remember what it is.
Speaker 1:It's a special blood test that you do to see the oxygen levels, and I can't remember what it's called, but anyway it was. It was definitely. It wasn't a pleasant thing. It wasn't a pleasant thing, it wasn't a regular test, but anyway, that's a bit of a rant. The reason why I'm saying it is because when you focus on the negative, or you focus on complaining, or you focus on the pain, you can feel it more Well. That's why sometimes, if you're in pain, you put the film on and you're watching your favourite film or series and you suddenly think, oh, for a moment I'm okay. And then, when you go to series and you suddenly think, oh, for a moment, I'm okay, yeah, and then when you go to bed and you close your eyes and you might suddenly start focusing, because you don't have external stimuli, it always feels worse. It does Sometimes. Sometimes If you not always, but a lot of the times Sometimes you manage to take something and you feel better or just the pain just eases, naturally, yes, no, always go.
Speaker 1:No, but you can tend to focus on certain focus more unless you're calm. You're calm, you don't. No, if you bring that kind of serenity, any anxiety or nerves or tension into your body, you're going to feel more anxious, no, but you'll feel more of everything. You'll be in that fight or flight mode where you'll be highly, you know, you'll be watching for signals and for things and you'll you'll feel more pain and more, more, everything, focus more on the negative one, because I what we said once, we, if you, if you think you've never seen a red and blue car in your life that's right on the road then all of a sudden you're going to start noticing red and blue cars everywhere, aren't you? Yeah, well, it's like when I got that yellow car, which was so weird, and I thought this is the only yellow car that has ever. I've never. My husband said here, this is a lovely yellow car. I thought, mama mia, what terrible color. This is bright yellow, like literally everybody's gonna know my every movement, I thought, because I'm the only one in these small villages with these bright yellow car. And he was laughing, thinking yeah, that way I know exactly where you, where you're going. Everyone say I saw your wife pass by and but yet when I actually started driving it, we started noticing yellow cars everywhere.
Speaker 1:That just goes to show how much your brain deletes and how it focuses on what it wants, what you're focusing on exactly and how, when you, when you don't focus it, you just don't see or feel it. You like delete it, don't you? It's not there in your vision of range. So if your brain can do that, why not choose to manipulate it in a way that we can use it to our own advantage? If you like, you know the word manipulate. We're talking about doing things for our own good. So you know there's and we can use it to our advantage, can't? We can, we can.
Speaker 1:So let us know if you like complaining and if you like a good rant and if you think it's time to stop and maybe just limit it to a few minutes a day and focus on the positive and the beauty around you and the joy, the small joys of life, we can promise you you will certainly feel a lot calmer and happier and you'll have more people that will want to be around you, definitely Because nobody likes a complainer or want to be around you.
Speaker 1:Definitely Because nobody likes a complainer Not if you're, not if you're always, you know, if you're sort of like well known for this. The truth is, people don't really want to be around you, you know. So if you're becoming aware that you might be one of these complainers, you know you can have a little laugh about it and then think, okay, for today, with my partner, with my friends, I will complain, but I will limit it to like 10 to 15 minutes complain and then find two nice things to say afterwards well, that's a good thing, yes, you complain and then find two things that you're really grateful for, two lovely things that occurred exactly, exactly. Yes, because we know, don't we, that gratitude is the key to happiness, so much so it really, really is. So come and visit us on YouTube, too, where you can see the whole video and please do come and say hi. You can message us on your podcast app and just come and say hi to us, the English, yutka and bioletta zuko. See you then. See you then, bye.
