Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
Feeling Anxious? Feel calmer and get much needed anxiety relief. Listen to Mind, Health, Anxiety with The English Sisters the podcast show for mental health that will give you the tools you need to manage your life and your anxiety. Anxiety and overwhelm is on the rise today and most of us experience it in some form or other. The English Sisters, Violeta and Jutka Zuggo are clinical hypnotherapists, business women, authors, wives and mother’s of wonderful grown up children! As hosts of their show they chat about real stuff that empowers, excites and inspires well-being! Always looking to share their point of view and expertise on how you can manage your anxiety and mental health so as to enjoy life! Sharing their experiences to help you live a calmer, happier, fuller and more relaxed life. If you are in need of anxiety relief and want to learn how to manage your mental health, follow Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety so as not to miss an episode! New episode weekly every Wednesday!
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Get Real With The English Sisters - Mind Health Anxiety
How Success Leads to Envy (The Green-Eyed Monster)
Have you ever noticed how some people seem to deflate when you share good news? That surprising, awkward moment when your excitement is met with a forced smile instead of genuine joy? You're not imagining it.
The truth about success is that it creates a ripple effect, and not all those ripples bring celebration. In this candid conversation, we explore the uncomfortable reality that sometimes the people closest to us struggle most with our achievements. We share personal stories about experiencing both sides of envy - feeling it ourselves and recognizing when others direct it toward us.
Drawing from ancient village wisdom passed down through generations, we discuss the surprisingly practical advice of being selective about sharing joys. There's something powerful in recognizing that not every success story needs widespread announcement. We offer guidance on identifying your true "celebration tribe" - those rare people who genuinely rejoice in your happiness without reservation.
Most importantly, we provide actionable strategies for transforming envy into inspiration. Whether you've felt that pang of jealousy when scrolling through social media or noticed others pulling away as you succeed, this episode offers compassionate insight for navigating these complex emotions. Success doesn't have to be a lonely road - it's about finding the right companions for the journey.
Join our conversation and share your experiences with envy or celebration. How do you handle these situations? Connect with us through social media or wherever you listen to podcasts. Your story matters to our growing community, and we'd love to hear how you've navigated these waters in your own life.
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Success doesn't come easily, but when it does come, unfortunately not everyone's going to be happy for you. Yeah, that is so true. I think it's important to recognise who you really want to share your happy story with. Yeah, so that's what we're going to be chatting about in this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters Mind, health and anxiety A place you can come and relax. Indeed, unfortunately, it's true, isn't it? It is Not everyone's going to be happy for you and clap and say yay, or they might do, but secretly they're not happy for you and they're cursing you in the background, really, I mean, I don't know as far as cursing you, but they're feeling envy, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, people are envious. Yes, yes, that can happen a lot of the time. It's not a nice thing, is it? The thing is, when you share your sincere story of success, you might have had a promotion, or you're pregnant, or I don't know, you won something, or you're really happy in your marriage, for example, and you know that's a tricky one as well, because that's really tricky, because if you, if you're saying you're happy, yes, then then people can you know, you, you want to share that kind of story with somebody who you know, is going to be fully supportive and be happy for you. So that's why you have to recognize that you know the 90 that aren't going to be happy and unfortunately it's so many people which is so. But I think that's why we have this culture of bringing you know, bringing people out and then tearing them down in the press yes, exactly, social media as well. Yeah, like, oh, that actress, she's wonderful, she's this, oh, yeah, but I bet you she, I don't know, she's anorexic or she, she's, she's horrible. You know it. It's hard for people just to be happy for others genuinely, and I think there's a secret to doing that. What is it? What is it? That's a big question, but there is a secret. The secret is, I think, is to is to learn to recognize that you may feel sadness because you didn't get that, or you didn't be able to buy the car, or you didn't get that promotion, so you may feel a hint of sadness.
Speaker 1:I think, once again, it's recognition. If you recognize that, yeah, in yourself, you can see it and think, oh, yeah, that's, that's what I'm feeling. So now you know what you're feeling, you can give it a name and you can recognize this is envious. I'm feeling envious of this and, and what can I do? What can I do? I can, I can, in a way, change my state. Well, you can channel this, this feeling, and say, okay, instead of feeling envious, how can I change this? And maybe I can get inspired by this story Exactly that's exactly what I and gain inspiration from it. Yes, exactly, gain inspiration. So, instead of feeling this negativity, this emotion of envy, anger, sadness, even grief sometimes, because you did not get that thing or that person, or you don't have that, you can change it and channel it into thinking.
Speaker 1:Let me look at it from a different point of view. Let me see what did that person do in order to get there? And if you actually look at things closely, you will probably find that there was a lot of sacrifice and a lot of hard work involved. And if there wasn't, if it was something like we were discussing before, like a pregnancy, and it happened easily for that person and you may be finding yourself in a struggle, you can just take inspiration, knowing that you that these things look, they do happen, they do, they do happen. So it might not be that difficult for me in the end, because things do happen. It's not like it's Never going to happen.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean, I did say pregnancy, sometimes it can never happen, but you can. I mean, I have been personally on a road of infertility, so I do know what it was like. I mean, obviously, when you told me you were pregnant, I felt nothing but great joy. For that, because of our closeness and our love, I thought, oh wow, Violetta's gonna have a baby. It's gonna be like my baby, you know, that's it. She's gonna have this gorgeous baby, you know. So I was only 25 at the time, but I was very maternal and I was thinking, yay, you know, I'm gonna have, I'm gonna, like, have a baby too, yeah, so I couldn't feel that you know, that envy, or of course I mean. But no, it's not. Of course it happens a lot of times and it's a normal, natural feeling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to feel when somebody else goes ahead in life, you feel as if they're going ahead. Well, it's a classical example of like, not related to pregnancy, but like when you know that your close friends move ahead yes, whether it's financially They've got engaged or physically, they suddenly look amazing and you don't. Yes, exactly, exactly when something changes for the better in someone else and if you feel left behind. You know you can feel envy and sadness and even grief, like what you feel. Yeah, and I think you know it's important for you to recognize those feelings and admit OK, I'm only human, so it's not necessarily bad that I'm feeling these feelings. But let me see what can I do in order to feel better and how can I address them in order to feel sincerely happy for that person? Well, what about if it's the other way around? Is it if, if you are the success story, yes, you have to share it's it's it's best to maybe tread a little bit carefully, isn't it? And recognize those people that really are going to be there for you and not feel this envy. This is one of the first things. It can ruin your moment.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first came to italy, my husband said here in the village and my mother-in-law? She said we do not speak about the good things and and I thought, what are you saying? She said, shh, be quiet. Like, keep your like happy moments and good news. Keep them, don't go blabbing. She told like because my husband, my boyfriend at the time, he said oh, I'm really in love, mom, I'm really happy, shush, you know, like, as if you know, the bad tongues are going to hear you, the literally translated Malilingue, the bad tongues are going to hear you and bring you bad luck, sort of thing. Because what she was saying is that around the gossip here around the village, not everybody you know was in that state of happiness. Not everyone's going to share the moment. Everybody you know was in that state of happiness. Not everyone's going to share the moment with you.
Speaker 1:It was so weird and I said to her but surely when you were younger you would go and wash, you know, all your clothes in the fountain. Because she used to tell me these stories, because you know, and I would say, wasn't it lovely to have this community of women all together bonding? And she used to say, not really. You couldn't tell people that you were, like, really happy. And I said, are you joking? She said no, no, no, you don't go and tell you if.
Speaker 1:If you were happy with your husband, you kept quiet and then if he was bad to you, like he wouldn't give you money, because in those days it was literally or he would hit you. You know, I mean we're talking about a long time ago Then you could say it. Are you allowed to say that yes, you would tell the other women and they would oh poor thing, would they help you? Not really. It was all very quiet, so they were just like happy for you, for your no, she's well. She said it wasn't.
Speaker 1:I mean I was really surprised, but she said you wasn't that clear, but you got the feeling that when you had it's the same thing as you don't wash your dirty clothes in public sort of thing, it's that saying. She said you don't wash them if they're really dirty. You know like you hide if you've got really bad stuff. She said you don't wash them if they're really dirty. You know like you hide. If you've got really bad stuff happening to you, don't say it. But the same goes for really good stuff. Because then you have women that are jealous, like if you've got six eggs that your chicken has given you, literally. So you don't go boasting about your six eggs, you keep quiet.
Speaker 1:All the others say my chicken is my chicken has laid one egg. She used to my chicken has laid one egg. She used to say my chicken has laid one egg too. She said even though my chickens were laying eggs like crazy. And I said why didn't you say you had lots of eggs, and she said no, no, because they would want the eggs. They would have envy. So this is something that's always been around.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about my mother-in-law's generation. She was born in 1926. So when she was young, it was a long time ago. She's no longer here now, but this is apparently a common feeling that we can all get. Is what? And I think today, it still applies, doesn't it? Of course it applies today. It applies to things that you see on social media and you want them and and you, you, you generally might think, oh, I'm happy for that person, but there may be a part of you that's not happy. Yeah, or so I I do think.
Speaker 1:I think there's a two sides of the coin. If you're a person that's feeling like this, if you're feeling envious, or if you're not happy for somebody's success, yes, ask yourself why that is and recognize it and then embrace it and then maybe do something about yes, you can say okay, instead of wishing them ill or literally wishing that their chickens won't produce all these eggs, you can think what are they doing? Perhaps, like you know, if she had confessed that she was getting sick sex, what are you feeding your chickens, what are you doing? And so you can implement that in your life and say, well, if they're successful, what are they doing? Apart from things that are just like you know, luck and that, like we're talking about families and getting pregnant.
Speaker 1:But there may be other things that these people are doing that you can learn and get inspiration. You can get inspiration, you can get motivated by them instead of feeling angry or jealous at them. I think so, but I do still think the rule does kind of apply today if you do have some really good news, you know you want to share it with people that you know are going to ultimately applaud you, and, and the sad thing is that sometimes the people that are closest to you will do not know. I know, I know that, so that's a sad thing. You may, oh, wow, you know like, and they might do something to ruin the moment as well. If you do share it. They might it's best to keep quiet.
Speaker 1:Well, like a lot of our successes in the beginning with english sisters, when my husband was jealous of the english sisters because I suddenly became really passionate in this, studying the therapy and everything, the psychotherapy, and oh, that's wonderful, that's wonderful. But when we started gaining our first successes and he saw a change. He did feel jealous and he admitted it. And then he kept on saying I feel jealous of what you're doing. I said, instead of feeling jealous, get inspired. Yeah, and now he's very inspired by it. He's a super fan now. Yeah, now he's a super fan.
Speaker 1:But you know it takes time as well to adjust to somebody that's changing, changing into new things Exactly New. So you know, the rule of thumb, I I think, is make sure you share with the right people and somebody who's actually gonna celebrate with you, because I and it is important to celebrate, yes, you know, do not stop celebrating. You know, choose the people you're gonna celebrate. Sometimes you're somebody you're so happy that you just tell people yeah, you tell everyone, yeah, I remember making that mistake before in my life. Oh, my god, we've got this way, and people around you just thinking, oh, yeah, and then it kind of dampens your soul a little bit because, yeah, because you want to be around people that are going to be really you want, you want to share that joy, but I think if you're not going to share it with the right people, it's best not to share it and to jump up and down on your own, exactly in your house, and put some music on and have a great dance and and keep it to yourself. Keep it close to your heart, your tribe to share it with Exactly, and look for the right tribe. Yes, well, let us know what you think.
Speaker 1:Have you ever felt envious about someone, your neighbour, your friend, your colleague? Neighbour is very common. Neighbour is a common one. Let us know. Or if you've been on the other side of it where other people have been envious of you. Uh, send us a message, send us a text message, or come and see the video on youtube too and listen, to get real with the english sisters wherever you get your podcasts, and thank you too for being always there for us and always listening, because the podcast is growing. Thank you so much. We really do appreciate it and we love your comments. Bye, bye, bye.
