Never Give Up Overnight Success is a Myth

What if the real difference between burnout and breakthrough is the story you tell yourself about who you are? We open up about the identity of persistence we’ve built over years, why it helped us keep going, how it sometimes misled us, and the simple ways we test whether to push forward or change course. No hustle clichés here, just grounded tools, candid stories, and a few laughs as we sort out what “not giving up” actually looks like in a human life.

We unpack the myth of overnight success and trade it for timelines that match reality. Think renovation, not magic: permissions, setbacks, delays, and unexpected costs. Still, meaning compounds. Therapy sessions, podcasts, and videos left us with a sense of service even when public milestones lagged. We share the small wins that kept us moving, those comments and emails that said, this helped and show how tiny steps turn into evidence for self-belief. You’ll hear our tulip metaphor in full: buy the bulbs, plant them now, and let time work; waiting for chance is not a strategy.

We also face the tender stuff: family needs, creative detours, and fertility struggles that demanded patience and perspective. The turning point came when we stopped living only for the outcome and started protecting the quality of today. That shift didn’t kill ambition; it made it sustainable. You’ll get practical questions to guide your next move: Does this align with my values? Does it make me feel useful and alive? Is my resistance about skill or fit? If it’s skill, learn; if it’s misfit, pivot. By the end, you’ll have a kinder, sharper framework for resilience that holds both effort and timing.

If this conversation helps, share it with a friend who’s at a crossroads. Subscribe for more honest episodes, leave a review to help others find the show, and tell us: what tiny step will you take today?

Chapters

• 0:00 Framing The Big Question
• 0:31 Building An Identity Of Persistence
• 2:20 Passion Versus Practicality
• 3:28 The Myth Of Overnight Success
• 5:17 Finding Meaning In Small Wins
• 7:18 Slow Growth And Hidden Payoffs
• 9:17 How To Build Self-Belief
• 10:55 The Tulip Metaphor For Momentum
• 12:10 Flexible Paths To Big Goals
• 14:12 Persistence, Perspective, And Daily Joy
• 16:25 Hard Roads And Real Rewards
• 24:49 Gratitude, Timing, And A Gentle Ask

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Giving up. When's it time to give up? When should you throw in the towel? Or when should you stay persistent and resilient? That's what we're going to be chatting about in this week's episode of Get Real with the English system. Hi, welcome. Welcome, welcome. I mean, we have thought about giving up a lot of times, haven't we? But never seriously. Never seriously, no, no, absolutely not. Because I think it's because I in my head I've got this mantra where I say to myself, I'm the kind of person that doesn't give up on things. Yeah. I have that belief. And I've had it through years of having of struggles, of of having things happen to me that I thought, no, I'm not giving up. And so I really do have a strong belief, uh sort of an identity about myself that I've formed over the years. That you don't give up. I don't give up. I I tell myself I'm that kind of person that doesn't give up, even though sometimes I might think I should give up on things. Yeah, I think there's a fine line between being that kind of person that's like either you give up because you feel as if you you can't make it when you really could, and if you had the right help, you would be able to go forwards. And the and when you and when you just give up because you think, well, that's it, and you just think that well, I'm not, I can't, you know, it's not working, I'm gonna give up. I think there's a fine line between the two. Yeah, sometimes I think it's like stupid continuing. Yeah, but I do, I kind of do, and unless it's so obvious that it's not going to be for me because instinctively I feel it's wrong. But if somebody said like the idea of the English is to just give it up, I know him, I would be like full of, I would say no with my whole heart. I'd say no, I believe in this. Yeah, uh I remember when my husband said it like about 10 years ago, he said, No, just come and work with me full-time. I really need you, you know, you'll be a great uh source and come into the family business. And I thought, look, I I can do both, yeah. But I I I felt in all my heart, it's not just because it's you, and obviously I love you so much, it's not it's not just because of that, it's because we had this idea, we had this dream of slowly in our minds we could help people, really. Yeah, and I really didn't want to give up on that. No, and it hasn't been easy, it hasn't gone as we predicted, has it? It's definitely not been this kind of thing, oh wow, you know, this myth of overnight success. No, it's been a long haul, hasn't it? It's been so long and and and and hard, and and and there have been so many steps to overcome. Yeah. But I think the fact that keeps us going as well is that when we are the English sisters and we do do our therapy, we do do our podcasts or our videos. We always, even though it's hard, because like what you say, we've got families, we've got things we're doing, but it always leaves us with something, doesn't it? It always has that feel-good thing afterwards that we've done that. It's something that's worth doing. That I was listening, for instance, like this morning, I was listening to Kevin Hart on the uh Diary of the CEO podcast, and he was saying that when he got his first laugh from the audience, he just he said, I got addicted to that because he said I just felt as if I was being of service to someone, to somebody, to some people. He said, When people left my comedy act, they were they felt better, they were felt happier. So he said that that that's he said it was really hard for him as well. But he said that's what kept him going, the the that first laugh. And I and he wasn't an overnight success either, because I remember reading his story, and it took him a long time to actually get to where he is. I think a lot of people it's taken them a long time, and they're put then afterwards people think it's an overnight success. Yeah, there is this myth, isn't there? You know, the overnight, oh he was just a big star, or she was. What really is behind it? Probably starts when they're three, sort of building up on the dream, you know. I think things that are worth it take effort and time, and that's another belief that I have that I believe it to be true. Things that are worth it do take a long time and they take effort. They do take effort. You don't expect to live in a beautiful house, and if you're building it, you don't expect the constructor to just say, Oh, here it is, it's ready. Like in two weeks, you expect a lot longer than what they said. Like a couple of years. Yeah, and normally you think, okay, the project, and then when you read the papers, you think, oh yeah, and then he comes the builder says, uh, and then there's a problem, and then there's another problem, especially when you're renovating. You need more money, you need more permissions, you need, and at the end of it, it could it probably takes at least three years longer than what you expected, but then the satisfaction. Well, I think it can make or break you because I used to watch those house programs where they would put the do they they would do their own build. Oh, yeah, you usually actually end up separating couples, not a lot of them, some of them. Well, not so the struggle so hard on them as a couple, it will there was so many sacrifices, and I think maybe if one of them wasn't so keen on the idea, yeah. I think if you're both really keen on the idea, then it's easier. Well, that's like keen on it. We're both keen on it. Oh god, I mean, but we're we we're still trying to monetize our YouTube channel, which we've been going, it's been like 15 years we've been on YouTube. Yeah, at least 13. I haven't counted, but we've got over 1,500 videos or something, and we still haven't got the watch hours. No, so I mean So sometimes you think, What is it worth it? Even putting these videos up, uploading, you know, getting the video, but in the end, you just think if it helps, we get some comments that say this helped me, I liked it. Yeah, so you think, well. Well, it's like when we wrote our first book. I remember thinking, look, even if just one person reads it, even just one person, or just for my kids, this could really help them. It wasn't like this big ego thinking, oh, so many people are gonna read it, and they haven't. No, but one person in specific wrote to us and said that it changed his life. Yeah, I know, so it was amazing, worth it. Yeah, yeah, he changed, and then another person wrote saying that they were at an actual um an instructor or something, they were teaching uh mental health or something. In the hospital, in the hospital, yeah. She was a doctor, and she said that that she would read our stories, yeah. And she said she actually put one in her office. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, so yeah, so I've forgotten about that. But these little gems that we cut that people give us, we think, yeah, it's worth it. Small little successes, I think you have to focus on, don't you? It's not all that it's not all that glamour. Because then in the end, when you do get all that glamour, and then you think, was it even worth it? Then you usually get the anticlimax, don't you? It's the gem. Well, that's what we've heard, because we haven't got all that glamour yet. I mean, you see it, I've seen it in films and that, and they think, well, is this it? I mean, well, I guess it's kind of like when we first got an editor to publish our book. It was amazing. We were jumping up for joy, and yay, yeah, yay. And the joy lasts for a while, but then it's just back down to normal. Yeah. Then it's about getting the book distributed and blah blah. You know, it's a nitty-gritty things, isn't it? It is. But thankfully, we didn't have to do because we had an editor and we didn't have to self-publish. Yeah. But I know it's even harder when you have to self-publish. It is. We were just really lucky. We were that we had a connection and he helped us and we made it. Well, they saw, they saw us, they saw we had an online presence. They said, Oh, yeah. There, that that's where the videos could have tied in because we had an online presence. They had faith in us. Yeah. So it's all the things that you might do in the background that you think, are they worth it? That I uh afterwards they add up to your so it's all those solid tiny steps along with a good sound belief in yourself. And I think the re the way you can build that belief, if you say, I don't have that belief, because I'm somebody that's always given up on everything. Yeah, well, I think a good practice would be to just accomplish one small thing every day and then to form a larger belief. So today I'm going to go and do that, no matter how small it is, something that I want to do. If I want tulips in my garden, what do I have to do? I have to go and buy the bulbs, don't I? Or order them. So do that first step, and then by the end of the day, you'll look back and think, Well, I did that. I ordered the bulbs. But you could be really lucky and have like your neighbour had tulips, and the little bird brought the seed over, the little bulb over, and to plant it right in your flower bed. Well, that's happened to me before. I mean, yes, that can happen. But that's the other perspective, isn't it? Of people that always wait for things to happen. Yes. And they sometimes they do happen. Sometimes very rare. It's it's quite rare. It's much, you've much more of a chance of getting tulips in your garden if you go and buy the bulbs. Well, if you want real, I mean, if you want lots of tulips, you want to have a like a lovely tulip bed in spring, somebody you can say, oh wow, look at that. You you're gonna need bulbs, aren't you? Yes. Unless you're you know, you're gonna need bulbs. You're happy with the yard tulip. Yes. Okay. And the great metaphor about the bulbs is that they will come back every year. So this is for you to think about to say, if I buy that first bulb or somebody I I get it gifted to me, the first bulbs, then afterwards I am literally planting the bulbs and the roots for my success, and I will reap them for many years to come for my future. So it's that first step, no matter what it is, for you to take, for then for you to look back in the evening and say, Well, I did that, hey. So maybe I'm not that kind of person that does give up. Maybe I can do small things towards my success, towards what I plan to get. Yeah, and sometimes that what you said, it's not all black and white. Sometimes you do have to step in somewhere else. So you might have to step in for your family or for your partner, or you might have to get another job on the side, or you might yeah, but we're not just necessarily talking about work, it could be that you want your your dream was like to study and to go back to university. You might be slightly older and you missed you know, university when you're in your early 20s, and you might be thinking, Oh, I'm dirty now, I would really like to do that course. But it's too late, it's expensive, or I you know, it's too late. But you can find ways. There's so many ways where you can start like edging towards it and putting little footsteps in to get to where you want to go. So you might find a course at your local college or something, or a course online that's free. There are there are lots of them where you can start like you know, dipping your toes into it, start seeing if you actually like it, and then allow the passion for it to sort of lead you because if you like something, then it becomes so much more easier for you to want to learn more about it. But you have to actually allow yourself to see those tulips blossom. You have to you have to take that first step, and it's about tiny, tiny little steps towards that road, towards success, towards success, yeah. And then you can quantify success how you like because um I mean we could look about and say, Well, we weren't successful because we didn't get to be like we had offers for a television and Netflix program at one time, it never happened in it. Never happened, no, COVID came along, we don't know what happened. We could say, Well, we didn't, you know, we didn't kind of make it, but we we consider ourselves successful and we pat ourselves on the back for every little success that we've had, and then who knows? You know, we might not we might not if we're nice and soft, we might not have even liked being on I don't know because like we're used to working on our own and doing our own things, yeah. In the end, there's always a positive to everything you look at in life, isn't there? If you want to, if you want to find it, there always is. There is because it it is it is about you know just understanding that your life is precious, really. So I mean I remember thinking, okay, yeah, we get put on Netflix. What happens to the family? What happens to our system that we have now? The kids were still quite young. Yeah what do we do? We get we we go somewhere to to film this thing, then what if it's they try and somehow change us? Because they were already kind of suggesting to change us, weren't they? They wanted to change our name, they wanted us to be more uh like hypnotic and dazzling. Yes, because of the fact that we we do hypnosis and we're women, we're quite we're we are quite rare, we were rare in those days. Um like it was like it was five or six years ago, wasn't it? Probably now, yeah. Probably, yeah. And I remember thinking all of those things, thinking, well, other things, things are gonna change. And and I don't know what's gonna happen because change can also be scary, it can be good as well. It can be good, yeah. I mean, if it happened, we would have changed. Oh, we were super delighted we would manage to try and organise stuff. Yes, but at the same time, you do think, okay, there are lots of things going on. Maybe it wasn't the right time in our lives. Maybe not. No, whereas now we have adults, yeah, adult children. Now is time. Now is the good time. So if we wanted to send something out to the universe, we could say now is a great time. Now is a because we're freer. Yeah. I mean, I'm still pretty business, uh busy in the family business because that's another part of it, but um I'm probably gonna hopefully get freer and freer. Yeah, and having more time for that. Definitely make time for that. It's just about taking small steps sometimes. It's about getting priorities right, isn't it? Yeah, about not giving up. I mean, I remember when I was you so young and I wanted children, and then we suffered from infertility as a couple, me and my partner and my husband. And I remember just thinking, oh well, you know, this is horrible being devastated at the beginning because the news of infertility is devastating, especially if you really feel like you want to have a baby. But then it's so difficult, and I saw you have your baby, and just oh, the longing for that cute baby, and just to be a mother, and I couldn't. And I remember thinking, I just I just continued through it, and I thought, hey, this is something I know I'm not giving up on. I remember thinking, I'm not giving up. But do you remember I also said to you, you're wasting the best years of your life worrying about it? Yeah, so just give up on the worry. Give up on the worry, carry on doing what you're doing, all the fertility treatments, but just remember today is today, and today's gonna be a good day, and you're gonna enjoy it. That was not gonna spend and it just clicked with you, didn't it? It clicked, you just I I'd obviously reached about four years of infertility treatment, injections, everything, fever, I've yet we tried it all, and I remember just thinking when you said that to me, you said you said Jutka, you are you are 26 years old. Goodness me, you're in your 20s. Just remember that and remember to enjoy the day. Remember to just say, hey, you know, it's not about checking your cycle and saying, Oh, oh no, my periods come again. Oh no, you know, it's about enjoying the time in between, and it clicked because I thought of that so many times, but sometimes it just clicks. Thank goodness it clicked. Yeah, that day it clicked. That day it clicked, you poor thing, yeah. That day it clicked, and I thought because I saw you suffering so much, and I thought, yes, you know, do all the fertility treatments, but really, you know, just enjoy your life as well. And then also, I mean, they tell you that when you're more relaxed, you'll get pregnant, and when you're in when you're in it, you think that's not true and it's rubbish. And how can it be all for people to say that because why do people say that to me? That how can I be doing that to myself by being tense? But the truth is that we're our brains are chemical uh labs as we know now, and we do produce hormones and feel good hormones and relaxed hormones that do facilitate all these things, and now that we're older, we can look back on and think, yeah, that was true. And what happened when you relaxed? When I when I decided to give up on all the treatments, and I decided to adopt because I thought this is my last treatment, I'm giving up on it now, and the adoption process was so hard as well. Goodness me, talk about not giving up on that either. We managed to get through all of that, and then I got pregnant, just when I was about to adopt, I got pregnant, and so yeah. I mean, this is a classical story that's so frustrating when you're going through the IVF and everything, and then a lady comes to you and she says, just relax. Yeah, you know, I think you'd want to slap her in the word, you would, you would. I just I don't I don't expect if you're going through this, I don't expect any of you to say no that relaxing is good. Also because they told me it was actually, you know, my husband's problem. They said he has extremely low sperm count. This is not gonna work. So I mean, I thought, what's relaxing gonna help? Yeah, how can relaxing help? This is a technical problem. Exactly. So don't talk to me about relaxing. I was so infuriated by it. And yet somehow, somehow I don't know. It's just been chance, but anyway, whether whether it's think, if you just think of your life as you know, if you just live mindfully and in the day, you know, you don't want to be looking back 10 years on and thinking, I I spent the last 10 years of my life worrying about getting pregnant. And no, unfortunately for some people it never does, it doesn't happen. And you know, maybe it wasn't it wasn't meant to be for you, or maybe it wasn't frustrating as well, because you can say it was meant to be for it was meant to be, but like I mean like our aunt, she could she never back in the day you couldn't get you didn't have all these fertility treatments we have now, and she never had children. She always bought it. Well, you don't have the resources because they're so expensive. I mean, this is a horrifying story, but in the end, she never had children, but in the end, it turned out that her husband was a paedophile. So Yeah, that's terrible. Goodness. I mean, there you would say that the universe put it on her poor woman not to have children. But she used to say to us, I am so grateful I never had my own children. Because when I've discovered this, I I've been in the house. Did she actually say that? She told our cousins. Oh, she told her. She said, uh, it was the best thing in the world not to have our own kids. She said, I couldn't. It it was horrible. I mean, she left him in the end. They couldn't, they couldn't separate because uh they didn't have the financial means, but they lived separately in their own houses. She wouldn't talk to him or anything. It was horrifying for her, it was absolutely horrifying. Yeah, it's so creepy, isn't it? I remember how nice he was to us when we were kids. Yeah. And how protective she kind of was of us. I remember her. She had a hint. She had an idea, but she had no conviction though. No, no conviction. No, because otherwise she would have told me. Why did she actually have a real conviction afterwards? Afterwards, no, she found out it was true. Oh, she found out she found out it was true. I gosh, no. Oh, yeah, she did. No, I think it was because she was looking after that little girl that she'd made friends with, and she said he'd kind of did something to her, like touched her inappropriately, and she realized it was it was true. Thank goodness she was and that she was a bit like a daughter for her. She used to treat her a bit like a daughter. This little girl, I remember her, yeah, because her mum was really busy. Her mum was a single mum really struggling, so she would always help her out and everything. But anyway, this is a big ramble, but it's a ramble about life. It's a life story. This is odd. She was older and she said, I am I thank God that he didn't give me children. Because I mean I mean, she could have had her lovely children and just pushed him away. But imagine if he had done something. I mean, this is not this isn't this isn't really, it's not truth because it's got nothing to do with most people. It's very rare. But what I'm saying is that in that case, she was very grateful. And she would have wasted her whole life thinking in the end, she was she was at peace with it. She said, I Yeah, but she did waste a lot of her life pondering and wondering about children, didn't she? It was a horrible time, yeah. Yeah, because she was the only one of our mum's sisters that actually didn't get a baby. Yeah, she didn't have one. The other ones had like four kids, and yeah, mum, she had two, she mum had more difficulty, she had lots of miscarriages. Yeah, anyway, this is a big ramble, but uh the truth is, yeah, that there are well in when sometimes going back to not giving up, it's a question of a strong belief and and staying convict staying constant, uh, how do you say it, consistent with your idea? And then looking at yourself and and saying, is this right for me? Does it make me feel good? Do is it ecological for me? Is it like yeah, is it a good thing? Is it a good thing? Do I feel better? I feel as if I want to give up just because I feel as if I'm not good enough, then no, then you say, How do I get good enough? How do I get better than you can get good enough to do if you really want to do something? Yeah, I have to dedicate more time, learn more. But I think you're absolutely right. I think it's about closing your eyes and thinking, is I knew it. I I knew I was sort of like meant to be a mum. I felt it, I felt it so young, and I thought, no, this is gonna happen for me. I I knew it, so I persisted. And I probably wasted time, a lot of time persisting, but in the end, I remember, you know, I got it. I got my I got my baby, I got two babies, and I thought, wow, these are I mean, it was like the best times of my life when they were tiny and growing up, and they still are today, you know. It's my dream to think I got that. And I think if you just it's a small steps along the way, it took about 10 years. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fast.

unknown: 23:54

No, it wasn't easy.

SPEAKER_00: 23:56

So a lot of the roads that you're on are not going to be short, easy roads. They're not. No, no. If they're worthwhile, if they're worthwhile, they're usually long. They're usually long and quite arduous, and it's like one step at a time to get where you want. Lots of little challenges. So many challenges along the way, but then life is about challenges, and a life without challenges wouldn't challenge us. That's why we like and it wouldn't be fun, really. No, it wouldn't be boring. You you appreciate things almost more when when they're it's like Christmas, isn't it? If it's every day is Christmas, boring, every single day you're getting gifts or whatever, you know, even as a child. What what it represents nothing anymore. No, but the wait, the anticipation, the anticipation is what it's all about. So we're gonna wait for you to send us love and comments on YouTube, on at Get Real with the English Sisters on Instagram and help us grow. And we love you all. Have a good day. Bye. Lots of love and smiles from the English sisters. Bye. We are therapists and we are here to help you get in touch. Bye.