Christmas Without Meltdowns

Ever feel like the holidays come with a script you didn’t write? We open up about the pressures that creep in this time of year rushed schedules, clashing traditions, and that quiet ache when the day doesn’t match the glossy version in your head and we trade perfection for something kinder and more real.

We dig into the two big stressors of Christmas: having too much to do or too little that feels meaningful. You’ll hear practical ways to reset expectations before tensions rise, like telling guests when you’re changing the menu or inviting someone to bring their must-have dish. We talk about family dynamics with humor and care, from the relative who always critiques the cooking to the person who stirs the drama and how early clarity, gentle boundaries, and a lighter touch can keep the room warmer than the oven.

Nostalgia gets its moment, too. If you’re chasing a childhood high or trying to repair a painful past, we offer mindset shifts that reduce pressure and create room for true connection. For anyone spending the holiday solo or far from home, we share simple, meaningful ideas: plan a treat you’ll savor, reach out to a neighbor, or find a travel buddy who’s also looking for company. Along the way, we return to presence small breaths, small rituals, and small choices that add up to a calmer day and to reflection, honoring grief and change with honesty and love.

Pull up a chair with us and let the season be human. If this conversation helps you breathe easier or rethink one tradition, share it with a friend, hit follow, and leave a review so more listeners can find their calm through the holidays.

Chapters

• 0:00 Warm Wishes And Intentions
• 0:24 Why Christmas Triggers Anxiety
• 1:46 Alone Or Overloaded: Two Stressors
• 2:56 Acceptance And Mindset Resets
• 4:29 Family Dynamics And The “Awkward” Relative
• 6:40 Managing Traditions And Meal Expectations
• 9:23 Expectations, Nostalgia, And Childhood Echoes
• 11:21 Emotions, Appearances, And The Holiday Facade
• 13:06 Reflection, Ritual, And Why It Matters

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas, everyone! And this week's episode of Get It Real with the English sisters. Hope you're all having a lovely time. And you're able to relax. Relax and enjoy whoever you have with you, family and friends, or even if you're on your own to have a good time. Today we're going to be talking about the challenges that Christmas can bring on. And and we know there can be very many. And challenges. Tips and tricks on how to stay in the moment. Yeah, I think that's it, isn't it? It's all about staying in the moment. Stay in the moment and not freaking out if your Christmas turkey isn't quite right. Or if you're not having Christmas turkey. Yeah, or if you're on your own as well. You can find something nice to do on Christmas Day. Yeah, absolutely. If it permits, if it permits or whatever. Yeah, that these are the things that generally get people anxious about Christmas. It takes people down, doesn't it? If they haven't got if you've got too much to do on Christmas, you're overwhelmed often. Yes. And if you have too little to do, you feel as if you may feel as if you're lonely or being, you know, you feel left out. Yeah, you've got that FOMO that can happen, like you're feeling that you're missing out on something because the rest of the world appears to be having such jolly good fun. And because it's a season, it's a season to reach out. And you know, you're thinking, why am I why why am I not feeling all this jolliness? Yeah. And you know, there are many, many emotions that come up. You can just enjoy if you are on your own, you can just enjoy being at home and watching a Christmassy film. Oh, yeah, or watching, or playing a game that you love playing that you normally haven't got time to do. Yeah, yeah, of course. There are many things you can do, and it's just about having the right mindset, I think, and understanding and appreciating that this can be an anxious moment, whether you've got too much, too little, but just accepting it, I think, can be helpful. Accepting acceptance, because often we have you may have a little too much to drink, and then you're feeling groggy, and then the next day you're, you know, you might have a fight with someone, an argument. I mean, these are all realities. These are realities, they are, they are, especially if you've got big families that gather together. Which is often the case, and there's lots of situations going on in there. There can be tension, there's people that don't really want to be there that seem to end up coming. It's always that aunt and uncle that bothers you. Yeah, that a lot of the times there are people like that that you really think, oh gosh, I only see them at Christmas. And um but then if you don't see them, you feel weird, don't you? I think so. I remember we used to have an aunt in the family, she's no longer with us, but everyone would kind of dread her, but then if she wasn't there, everyone would say, Oh it's not like Christmas if she's not here. Yeah, because she'd always kick up a bit of a fuss, and she's very awkward at times. But like you know, you felt as if you had to invite her because she was on her own, and you know, and even though it wasn't as pleasant as you would imagine, there was always a bit of a laugh afterwards. Well, I think about her. That's what I mean. The joint community in in speaking about her sort of brought people closer together in a way, because that everyone kind of felt sorry for her. Yeah, that everyone liked her. She was an awkward character because you can't always have that character that's gonna be the you know, the the life of the party. There's always gonna be someone that that's not you know Well, in every dinner party or in any occasion, there is always somebody that's not gonna bring that can see things in a different way and might not be the happiest of people. Or the p or the person that criticizes your Christmas meal. That's it. Because oh, you could have done that. Well, why didn't you do this? Oh, you bought the turkey. Yeah, or you didn't get a turkey. Are we just having ham? Yes. The thing is that you have to just if you are gonna do something, I would advise if you're gonna do something like that's non-traditional, like having ham, just let everyone know that you're having ham in advance. Right. So don't let them turn up. So just say this is how Christmas is gonna be this year. People can be really focused on what they want. If you really want your turkey dinner, you know, just bring it in on just bring it in a Tupperware or whatever, just bring it because we're gonna have ham this year. Because everyone's gonna be upset otherwise, because if they really want that. I mean, it's like if everybody really wants turkey and you're making a ham dinner and you don't announce it, you're kind of looking for trouble because people are gonna say, Where's the turkey? Yeah, but if you tell people you're gonna make ham and then they love it, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. No, in Italy on the 24th is tradition to have fish and everything to do with fish. And so I would never dream of not, you know, just inviting the whole Italian family to my home and just say, no, no, you're not we're not having fish. I'm cooking some kind of turkey or ham. Oh, that would be tragedy. Yeah, you know, I know that, so I just let them all bring their food, and then you don't have to do anything. I don't know, I don't have to do anything, but it's still a lot of people, and and and there is still so much to do. I'm just joking. I know that your hosting is hosting is tricky, is tricky, yeah. Sometimes I think, oh, I can't be bothered. But I think you think you can't be bothered as well because it's because it's not your tradition of the turkey. Because if it was your turkey tradition, you you think because you have Christmas with us the next day where we have the turkey Christmas, which is our 25th, yeah. We feel as if that's the kind of real Christmas. I guess so. Whereas for them, they feel as if the 24th in the Christmas Eve is the real Christmas. That's when they give out all the presents and all the family comes with all their different presents and they give them out to each other. So that's really, really, really important for them. And it's their tradition. You're coming, you're going against tradition, you see. So a lot of set of beliefs of how you're expected to feel on that day. So that's why it's good to warn people, isn't it? But then you can always the thing is when you do warn people, then you can always say at the backlash of oh no, you can't do that and you shouldn't be doing this. Yeah, that's a problem. But I think you have to weigh that up. I think it's still better. I would I would just tell. Yeah, I would definitely tell them. Show and tell. I would definitely tell them. I wouldn't want to go against that. No, no, if you're because it's a big deal for people, isn't it? They've got all these expectations. That's why Christmas is tricky. It is tricky, especially if you were like a kid and you had like the best Christmas ever, and then oh, you can never live up to that. Then nothing ever feels the same as that best Christmas you had when you were a kid. And if you didn't have a good Christmas as a kid, you always feel like, hey, you try and replicate it. Yeah, I got left out, something happened, you know. So I mean I was done. Yeah, you think, no, I didn't really experience Christmas like the other kids. What does this all boil down to? It all boils down to that at Christmas we have to take a look at our emotions, don't we? Yeah, and that's what's frightening as well. That can be frightening. That can be frightening because you look at the people around you, you look at family members that you might have been too busy to look at before. You look at your own relationship and you think, hey, with your partner, if you have a partner, if you don't have a partner because you've you've you've recently got separated, divorced, that's all so challenging. Yeah, or if they're no longer with you because you really want to be partnered. Yeah, or you're a single and you're walking around the streets and everyone's like huggling together, and you see all these people, and everything seems to be so jolly. Just remember, it just it's just an appearance, it's a facade. It's a facade, it is a facade in most cases, and in most cases it isn't. I mean, and I mean it can be a bit of both. It can be, it's always a bit of a theatre, isn't it? Christmas dinner is like a bit of a show, it is a show, and everyone, and it's all like beautiful and everything's special, but then there's also the arguments and the tiffs, and the you should have done this. I think it's a bit like your birthday, isn't it? As well, you know, your birthday. Sometimes you wake up and you think, oh, it's my birthday, I don't really feel like it. Well, yeah, it's a birthday, isn't it? People are celebrating. Yeah, you're celebrating the birth of Jesus. Well, yeah, if you're religious, and if you're not, it's just taken on this fulcruistic um sweet happy time with a family time, yeah, with a Father Christmas and a family. And but still it has a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of baggage that comes with it, isn't there? There's like the the you know the sack that Father Christmas that's where all our baggage is in it. Oh yeah, I never thought about that. Yeah, that sack that he carries it's heavy at times until they he gives out all the presents and it kind of lightens, and that's what kind of happens at Christmas when once we once we've had our Christmas dinner and we've had a few drinks and we've shared out the presents. Everyone tends to relax, don't they? Yeah, that is true. Yeah, and everyone can so sometimes they go off and they do something, or they go on and play a little game or play a little bit. But it does bring people together. I think it is important. It's part of a tradition, isn't it? It's a tradition that shapes our lives in the end because we have we we're always on the go so much, and we're always fighting a f almost sometimes in you know not wanting to fight off flight. We're always on the go, always doing, doing, doing. So that this is a time always a time of reflection, I find. Well, it forces you to be with other like you see your nieces, your nephews, if you have any gosh, they've grown up, you know. You see, you're you're you you're with them. You can if you can, you can actually have quite lovely conversations with them that you would normally not be able to if you can get past the small talk, you know. Like I remember last year sort of walking into the kitchen and chatting with somebody, with one of my nieces, and I thought, wow, that's no, it was the year before last, they're sort of all mingling. But I remember thinking, gosh, I really don't know this person anymore. No, that's sad. She's grown up into a wonderful young woman, and I really don't know her. And I thought about that. You thought I should get to know them. I should get to know them more, really. But if it's not for Christmas, it's life, isn't it? Yeah, kids in the way, everyone has their own life. Exactly. That's why it is special to spend these moments to take them out. Yeah, to sort of it's an effort. It's an effort. If you if you're lucky to have a large family, lucky and and maybe not lucky, but if you are and you get on well with them, then it's an effort, but it's worth it, like what you said. It's definitely worth it. It's a lovely time of year. And if you you don't, then it's time for you to say, okay, look at look inside your life and think, okay, if you've you've you've probably got a few days of holiday. I mean, you don't get that many days of holiday here in Italy, you get like three or four days, yeah. And but it's time when you can actually just go and snuggle up and read a good book or whatever and say, This time for me. Or to think about other people that might be feeling the same as you, like maybe your next door neighbour. Yeah, that's what's always a good thing to think about or get together with some people. Yeah, maybe they're not feel they're feeling a bit lonely as well. I was reading of this lady that was she went abroad and then she said she was lucky because she got in touch with someone else that was there at the same time, another lady, and then they were like they they spent the time together, they went to the Middle East or somewhere. And she said it was so lovely not to be on her own at that time of year. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, because you do get that feeling, don't you? Time to make new friends perhaps for you if you're if you are feeling lonely. Yeah, don't feel frightened to look inside, I say. Look inside yourself and and recognize the time is uh is a specific quite a time for reflection, I think. Yeah, it kind of makes you reflect. It's like the end of the year, exactly. It's the end of the year, you look back on the year, you look back on the good times and the hard times and the bad times, yeah, and the jolly times. Yeah, whether you want to or not, I mean it can't help it. It's the season. Well, winter does that anyway, because everything kind of shuts down. Yeah. So so you kind of go that way anyway. But I think if you can just take a deep breath if you're feeling stressed or anxious about someone or something, and then just say it'll be okay, you know, it'll it'll be fine. Send yourself some good messages, yeah. Some love and some good hugs, and that's what we're gonna be doing to you. So happy Christmas, happy Christmas, and enjoy a lovely time, whoever you're with, whatever you're doing. Uh just think about love. And if you send love to yourself and love to others, I think that's uh that's a worthwhile message to absolutely lots of love and smile from the English sisters. Bye.