How Small Accessories Signal Safety And Self-Care

Tiny details can change your whole day. We explore the surprising psychology of accessories how a vintage tray, a favorite ring, or a simple desk plant can tell your brain you’re safe, reduce anxiety, and help you feel more like yourself. This isn’t about trends or mindless buying. It’s about intention, story, and the way small, beautiful choices can reshape the spaces where you live and work.

We share personal moments a flea-market find that still sparks joy years later, the sudden urge to bring a plant to the office, the thrill of lighting that transforms a room to show how meaning forms when you choose thoughtfully. From the cultural weight of rings and heirlooms to the everyday comfort of a cushion, these details act as anchors. Your environment becomes a mirror for identity and a signal of calm. We connect the dots between symbols, endorphins, and the nervous system’s safe signal, explaining why curated beauty so often lowers stress while clutter ramps it up.

We go wider, too, birds of paradise collecting shiny objects, cave paintings as early home decor, and how color and lighting shape mood. You’ll hear practical strategies for mindful accessorizing using time as a filter for purchases, favoring sustainability and durability, and editing your space so each piece earns its place. The result is a home and wardrobe that feel lighter, more coherent, and more you.

If you’ve ever wondered why a small object can mean so much, or how to build a calm, confident vibe without more stuff, this conversation offers clear steps and fresh insight. Subscribe, share with a friend who loves thrifting or design, and leave a review to tell us the one accessory that brings you joy.

Chapters

• 0:00 Why Accessories Matter
• 2:10 Symbols, Joy, And The Safe Signal
• 5:20 Mindful Choices vs Impulse Buys
• 8:30 Personal Stories: Trays, Plants, And Desks
• 12:00 Culture, Rings, And Identity
• 15:10 Not Clutter: Curating For Calm
• 19:00 Nature’s Decorators And Ancient Art
• 22:10 Lighting As Mood And Meaning

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Accessorize your life. Yeah, that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Get real weird. With the English sisters. Why accessories are so important. And yeah, and how they can reveal very important parts of your personality to yourself and to others. I know. So unusually you wouldn't expect accessories to be part of a mental health discussion. However, they can be. They can be, they can be important. We would like to shake things up a bit, don't we? Yeah. Absolutely. And we love accessories, don't we? Yeah, they are very important. We like like jewelry and things like that. Jewelry, yeah, like fashion accessories, but all kinds of accessories, really. So tune in and listen to this week's episode of Get Real with the English sisters. Do you like your jewelry? Do you like adding that extra touch to your outfit in the morning? No, but what about your home? Like you can accessorise your home by adding a painting or yeah, anything. A little jug of flowers, fresh flowers here and there. It says a lot about your personality, I think, because I think they can be like undervalued accessories. You can think, mm, it's just an accessory, what is it? Well, of course you can. Accessories are symbols though, aren't they? And they're important symbols. And they carry great meaning. I know. They carry great meaning because it means if your home is filled, for example, with nice accessories, with things that give you pleasure and enjoyment when you look at them. Small things, joy. They give you joy, yeah. Uh there's there's there's an important psychological meaning behind that. It means there's been self-care, it means you're paying attention to your needs and your desires, and you're also wanting to make your home or your personal self as pleasant to the eye as possible. And that sends off a trigger to our brains. It's it's unexpected. You wouldn't think it, but it does. It does, doesn't it? It gives you endorphins. It gives you endorphins, but it also seeing beautiful things and things that give you pleasure actually sends off another very important signal in the brain. I like accessories. Yeah, and the signal is that you're safe. So it reduces anxiety when you have pleasant things around you and you make your environment as pleasant and as lovely, if we want to use that word as possible. It sends off signals of security. So the cortisol reduces you place importance on something that's not actually a necessity, it's superfluous. But it's not really superfluous. Yes, but you would think that it is. You would think because it's superfluous, it's something like extra care has been taken to um curate it. But what it does to the mind, and we're not saying go and compulsive buy, it could be anything, it could be adding a flower to your living room. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, just just going and getting some roses or whatever, if you're lucky enough to have roses in the garden. I mean, whatever. Anything, anything at all. I remember once I bought a vintage tray. It was like so cheap at a flea market, and I remember it was a very pretty wooden tray, and I put it on my little coffee table in the dining room. Every time I looked at it, it would give me joy. Yeah, it gives me joy as well, wouldn't I see it? Is it the same one? It's the same one, yeah, with uh with the little pretty inscription on it. Obviously, it has a history. I mean, there was literally no money spent on that, it was just ignored an insignificant amount, but that was an accessory that sended off some messages in my brain to make me feel calm. And you would think, why? Why can't I try these? Something that you chose when you were probably in quite you you were feeling probably quite good at the time because you were browsing, yeah, creative, being just creative, browsing the market, and you saw this cute little thing that you like, yeah, and you thought, I'll get that, and then I'll place it somewhere, and then the fact that you have to curate and place it in a special place means that you're like spending time on yourself and your home, on your own like wishes, that your personal wishes, it's like a superfluous thing, it's not like tying your shoes that you have to do, no, it's an extra that you do it because you want to do it, because which is signaling to your brain that you love yourself. Yes, that's why. Yeah, there's a lot of self-care and a lot of um there there is an importance to accessorising, isn't it? That's why everyone loves it so much, yes, exactly, and why people talk about accessories so much culturally, it can be very strong as well. Because let's say a ring, let's say, is that is that an accessory? That's a that it could be, it's an accessory to the hand. It's not very but but what are the symbolic meanings behind a ring? Yeah, who gave it to you? Well, obviously, whatever kind of ring it is, engagement handed down from someone. We all know the importance of a ring in today's society. Yes, so that's an accessory, the same way perhaps bangles are in certain cultures, tattoos, tattoos, everything. You're it's a very clear signal that you're taking care of yourself, I think. Yeah, that you are important, sort of thing. It's like you're telling yourself you are safe enough to think about an accessory, you're secure enough to think about accessories. So maybe we should think about you know, accessorizing even a little bit more in our life today, and and could that possibly help us reduce anxiety? Yes, you would think it couldn't, but it can't yeah, but I think it's the same as how clutter can make you anxious. Accessorizing isn't clutter, it's something that makes something more beautiful. Because it's been chosen, because it's been chosen with care. So it's something that's a bit special and it's to be like enjoyed, it's something to be enjoyed and valued. And why do people always, whenever someone's got a nice uh ring or necklace or something pretty or shiny on, people tend to say, Oh, you look nice, that's pretty. They like other people like seeing they love it, shiny things, or even if they're not shiny, you like shiny things. I mean, we can see the personal preferences, shiny things. Yeah, that's hilarious. But yeah, yeah, I know, I know, yeah. Shiny, but it couldn't be, it could be black. I don't know if you're into the gothic style, you like the black accessories, it could be anything, it's just an accessory. It's the same way sometimes at work you say, why are you like accessorizing your desk? Why do you do that? Why do you have photos? Add photos, flowers, stickers, whatever. Why? Because you're leaving, you're you're telling the world something about yourself on that tiny little area that's yours. You're you're personalizing it, you're making it safe with accessories. Silly as it may sound, you are making that place so that when your brain and you walk into that space, you think, ah, that's a safe space. There's something that I have added to this space that makes it different to the author. Yeah, it's not just another cubicle, it's a cubicle, but it's got a picture of behind it or whatever it's got. Yeah, plant, yeah, plant whatever you have. My husband was desperate to take a plant to the office. He was, wasn't he? Yeah, he doesn't even normally like accessorising, so it's quite unusual to hear that he was looking for like a plant to take. Yeah, desperately looking for a plant. Well he was, he kept on going on about I need a plant for my office. Exactly. So there you go. You know, it's not just accessorising your in a fashionable way and uh becoming a slave to fashion and to all these accessories. It could also make you like a more individual, it could it could help you like stand out if you wanted to stand out in a particular way. So, like if there's two people wearing the same outfit and you've accessorized it differently, you've added your grandmother's scarf or oh yeah, I don't know, vintage piece or something new or old or borrowed or whatever. But it's it's something that's unique to you, it's like that personal touch, like what you're saying, that makes you feel safer. It shows the world something about you, about what you care about. And I think it can also give you more confidence. A lot more confidence. If you have the confidence and the self-care and you you care about your environment as well, you look after it by s you you you know, if you don't do it yet, you might start doing it, you know, like what we were saying, in your personal space, your bedroom, wherever, whatever rooms you've got. You can start looking for small little accessories that can really they bring you a lot of joy. Like I was thinking of some students that I used to know that would like to like um accessorize their dorm with pretty things. I'm not surprised otherwise it's just like everyone else's, it's not like a it's not like a personal space, it's gonna make you remind you of home and feel at home. Safe. Yeah, it's all about that really. I think that's why we accessorize to make things look prettier and more more more pleasing to the eye, but there's a deeper meaning. There's a deeper meaning to it. As with everything, as with everything, yeah. So everything we always do. I would say that even mammals accessorize. You've seen those documentaries with the little birds that fly off and make things ever so I mean they're not mammals, are they? No, sorry, birds aren't, but I mean, you know, animal in the animal kingdom, they go on. They're not amphibians, have lizards. Anyway, no, no, I can think Yeah, no, no, you put my brain on a tilt now. Because I was thinking about these little birds, I think they're called the birds of paradise, but whatever. And they were they would make guys like accessorising. Gosh, yeah. They steal stuff, the shiny stuff. Yeah, but I mean, I think this is part of our our instinct once again to decorate. I mean, think back even like in uh cave decorate, wouldn't they? What they had all the drawings, there was that creative part of accessorising the case with the with the with the those incredible drawings. I mean, do you really think they I mean they had to worry about basic needs and finding food and everything? You would think, would they have time to draw? Exactly. But yeah, they did. That was their creative, yeah. That's a home decor. Yeah, as today it it's the same part, so don't think you're being, you know, superfluous if you want to. I mean, we like the lighting, don't we? We love the lighting. Lighting is super important, and the vintage lighting, and we also like the fact that it's it is like an it's not an accessory because it's a necessity to light your home. Yeah, but you don't have to light it that way, you can light it anyway. Yeah, so it becomes almost like a personalised choice, isn't it? It's definitely an accessory to have a beautiful light up or something that you think is beautiful, whatever it is. Um lampshades, table lamps, all of them. They're accessories. I do love them. What the table lamps? Yeah, the the the like the special lighting. Yeah, like the one that gives ambience. Oh, definitely. Yeah, indoor lighting or outdoor lighting to make a place look amazing. Your garden, you can put some of those pretty I always think of light pollution now though, because yeah, I know what I know I like to leave it natural. I don't usually light it up unless we're having a party or something. No, because it's which is quite rare. Yeah, that's very rare, I must say. We tend to like going out more. No, but like go out instead of I prefer to go instead of having you know guests come. Yeah. If you've listened to other episodes of our podcast, you'll know that we prefer to go out, even though we don't go out that much compared to other people. But we l we do like to go and have a pizza or something. Oh, definitely. Yeah, that's kind of like accessorising your life by adding little dinner and going outings because it's not essential, is it? You don't have to go out, it isn't to a pizzeria, but it's another way of uh making your day have more pleasant vibes to it, yeah. Vibes and uh having more dimensions into your life, it gives you a different prospect. I do notice when we go out if they have like a they have a like a a little accessory on the table. If it's personalized to the restaurant, I really do enjoy that. Yeah, not just plastic flowers or something, yeah. It's something a bit special. Yeah, I know, yeah. That's really and that makes for me. I really notice these little details. I notice them incredibly as well. Yeah, they're very I do like them. I think it shows that someone's taking a lot of care into thinking about it. There we go again. So it sends a message, you know, like this place is like we care, yeah, we love it, we take pride in our business. We we we take care in you because we provided you maybe with a cushion or with an accessory because cushions, like you know, cushions are comfortable as well. They're comfortable, but they're an accessory, it's not just the chair. Do you remember when they took that cushion away from? Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. Once we went out, and there was a chair that had a cushion on it, and they came and they said, Oh no, sorry, this cushion belongs to this other chair. Chair, yeah. What? It was so hard without the cushion. It was weird. Yeah, but you felt like hard dante, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't very good customer service. No, that wasn't. No, that wasn't something. But yeah, no, definitely not, but yeah, there is behind these small we might think superficial things in life, there is more meaning. So, you know, I'd say don't you know don't undervalue don't undervalue them. And the next time you see a little accessory that you think you don't really need or something, just think, is it really gonna bring me joy for a long time? And if it is, oh, if it doesn't, don't get it, because it's just clutter, like what you said before, and that can do the opposite of um instilling that kind of safe feeling. You can feel overwhelmed when you live in clutter. That's the opposite. So you don't want to do that, you want to choose very special. Yeah. And I think if you if you're like if you're depending on your budget, if it's if it's an impulse buy and you're thinking, Do I do I really want that? and you feel as if you do, and you but you really kind of know that you might not need it, or it's not really going to be an accessory, it's gonna give you great joy. Then just saying, Oh, well, if I want it in like two weeks, I'll come back and get it. Yeah, that's a good idea. And then if you still really feel like it gives you it'll give you joy, it's there's also the time and the anticipation of looking forward to buying it as well. Because I think definitely very undervalued now. We don't, with all this impulse stuff that we can just press the button and that and buy online arrives at home. There's not that enough time to actually think about whether you really need that accessory or really want it. It's probably a good idea. Put it in the basket, and if you still want it, like you whether it's virtual or whatever, then you go back to it. Yeah. You're right about that one, yeah. Yeah, my daughter did that with a little teddy bear she saw or something. It's really cute. It's like you know, it's like a little accessory. It's a little accessory for a bag or something, and she didn't she didn't buy it straight away, and she waited and waited for a couple of weeks, then she realized she still really would would like it. She thought it was still really cute. It was gonna give her a real joy still, so she got it. She got it, yeah. And she was really pleased about the whole thing, and it made a difference to her, and it still does. So I think you know that's incredible. It made a difference to her. It was a tiny little accessory. You would think, how could that make a difference to you? Why? Yeah, because when you look at it, it sends a message, it sends a signal to your brain, it triggers off feelings of safety that you're you're worthy. Even you're I know it's a bit of a taboo to say you're worthy when you're buying things, but this is not we're not talking about that, you know. No, it's it's a different because you've pondered, you thought about it, it was a very low-cost item, so it was just feelings of um self-worth have to come from within, not from an object that you're buying. But even in this case, though, they can send off signals though. Well, because in this case it's it's symbolizing your self-care, it's a self-care kind of thing. Yeah. So just wanted to make an important distinction between that because obviously, yeah, no object or anything that you buy will ever give you self-worth self-worth. If anything, it does the opposite, it makes you feel inadequate. Yeah, yeah, and you can only get self-worth from within you, from within you on yourself and seeing where those where those feelings of of uh of lack of self-worth come from. And most of the time it's really from conditioning and from advertising or because you're hanging out with the wrong people. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So there's uh there's only one accessory you need there, and there's a belief in yourself. Yeah, there's nobody that's gonna give you uh self-worth by buying anything, nothing, nothing at all. It'll never come. But you can signal off signals of pleasure, and um especially if it's something like what you were saying, referring to like your daughter, it was a small thing. Your daughter is an intelligent woman, obviously, and she she just thought about, but having that little thing that because a lot of the time, especially when you access it, you do accessorize without really thinking about it, and it's not something that it's just a more of a compulsive or impulsive buy. It doesn't really give you nothing. You take it home, you'll put it somewhere, and you won't even take care. Whereas if you accessorize in a in an efficient and like mindful way, it's like your tray, yes. And years it's giving you great pleasure. It gives me pleasure every time I see it. I mean it's a little wooden tray. I mean it's a handmade wooden tray with a it's very pretty. It's worth it was pennies, wasn't it? It was worth nothing to the person who was selling it. But to me it was it was important, yeah, and it still is today. So that wasn't an accessory that I just clicked on a button and I thought I'll get another because that does that that gives that. No, it it's the opposite effect, it creates anxiety. So it's a fine line with yes, choosing the right accessory for your home and to show that you and talking about sustainability as well. I was thinking that sometimes you can buy these trinkets as well, that you you can wear them like for a couple of weeks or whatever, and then they wear out they the the they tarnish and they look horrible, and then you have to kind of throw them away, which is a real waste as well. So that makes that causes anxiety if you're thinking about the planet because you're thinking, I'm just wasteful here, I'm just throwing something away. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, you know, be mindful as well of what what what you what you buy and how you accessorize your life too. Yes, totally, yeah, absolutely, yeah. Yeah, and if you think you've got too many accessories in your home, you can also do a clear out and give them to someone else. It'll give them it'll give them great joy, like take them to uh little market or yeah, thrift shop or whatever. Yeah, and that way you declutter, and then you can have a clean slate and decide exactly with mindful uh being mindful of what you really like, and then you can really make a mindful choice about very detailed, like uh something, you know. It you would think it was something so easy, but really it's something that it takes some thought. Well, it takes some because thought if you want to do it properly and mindfully, like you say, because you have to think about that. Colours can influence you and they can make you feel really good too. So sometimes maybe choosing something with a particular colour that's gonna make you feel you know. I mean, for me, colours are really important, so I know that if I have uh things that have a certain colour in my house are gonna make me feel happy. Yeah, pink because it's it's it's sort of in fashion now and I'm very conditioned, but really it's that torquewise colour that always makes me feel, yeah, turquoise always makes me feel calm, and it gives me joy, yeah. Well, I bought those special plates that were that colour that really every time I use them, I still have that feeling. Yeah, incredible. I prefer your pink plates. Yeah, I know you do. I like them as well. I love my pink plates. I mean, they were just bought in a vintage as well, they were just 12 plates, but they are they were hat painted, and I thought, gosh, you know, they were like uh I don't know, five euros or something. They're made with love, aren't they? Made with love, yeah. Well I hope they were anyway, because well, yeah, you would think somebody they were because they were made here in Italy, they're ceramics, Italian ceramics. No, sometimes I'm thinking that these things are made out of duress as well, unfortunately. Oh wow, yes, unfortunately. Yeah, but that was made with love. That's just a small artisan, um I imagine yeah, but things like that is what we're talking about. Exactly. That can last and that can send off those signals of uh calm. Calm and serenity, that's what we all uh want, I think. Yeah, absolutely. So, what do you think? Do you like accessorising? Do you think it's a good thing, or do you find you uh have too many accessories and they become clutter, and that can also be a problem? Yeah, so let us know what you think, and also come and see us on YouTube and please please stop by and leave a review on Apple Podcasts because it really makes it difference and get real with the English sisters is continually growing. Thanks to all your support, it's going up and up in all the charts around the world. So we couldn't be more grateful for you listening in. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Bye, bye, love and smiles from the English sister. Bye bye.