Your Brain Can Relax When You Pause

Your day can feel fine until one more sound, one more smell, or one more small demand makes you snap. That’s usually not “the world being too much” as much as your nervous system running out of room. We talk about a simple, practical way to reset without overhauling your schedule: micro breaks that take seconds to minutes and actually reduce stress in real time.

We share a short guided “little break” you can try right away, using sensory awareness to pull your mind out of survival mode. From noisy coffee shops to random irritations you can’t un-hear or un-smell, we unpack why anxiety and overstimulation make your senses feel louder and sharper, and how a mindful pause helps your brain filter what doesn’t matter. You’ll also hear why we miss the pre-scrolling kind of boredom and how a tiny dose of “doing nothing” can be a form of modern mindfulness and digital detox.

Then we go deeper: learning something new as stress relief, the strange way weekdays can trick us into forgetting time is passing, and how mortality can be frightening but also clarifying. We also share personal stories about grief and caregiving, and why building in small moments of joy on hard days isn’t selfish, it’s how you keep living.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who’s been running on empty, and leave a review so more people can find these tools for stress relief, anxiety support, and everyday mindfulness. What’s one “little break” you’ll try today?

Transcript

Why Micro-Breaks Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:05

A little break, and how often we don't take breaks throughout our day, and that's how the tension yeah, the tension can go literally a ray. I mean, it can rise within you. It can rise, yeah. Stop and take a little break, take a few deep breaths, a lot better, aren't you? Absolutely, that's absolutely true. Absolutely true, yes. So listen to this week's episode of Get Real with the English Sisters. Welcome everyone, and thank you so much for all your support on our YouTube channel. You are subscribing to it. Please follow us on all the apps wherever you're listening to. Click that follow or subscribe button because it really helps us grow. Right, yeah. So, I mean, sometimes I forget to take a little break. So do I. You're just doing, doing, doing, and you forget. But it can be as easy as like just humming your favourite song in your head. It can be, you know, just literally just saying, Okay, just one second, I'm gonna get away from this situation, or walking outside if you're working. You can just actually move outside of that room and just say, Look, it's just a little break. Just a little break. So we're going to read your story today from our book, Stress Free in Three Minutes. And if you're driving, please just skip forward or turn the volume down quickly because it is slightly um meditative or hypnotic. Yes, yes. So let's start. It's called a little break. As you look out of your window today, notice something you may not have noticed yesterday. A twig, a leaf, or a passing cloud can all allow you to enter into a comfortable state of mind. The right state of mind needed for you to take a little break. Focus on what you have chosen to see until your vision begins to blur just a little. And then, if you wish, you can close your eyes and become aware that it is in these little moments, between moments, that your mind grows and evolves, allowing you to change the way you see many of the events that have occurred or will occur in your life because it's all about what you focus on, and no two people will ever see the same thing in the same way. So, why not enjoy what you can see in your very own special way today? Take a lovely deep breath, and we can begin to focus on that idea that no two people will ever see the same thing. I know it's quite shocking, really, isn't it? Because we all think we've got we've got the same environment and environment in front of us, but we haven't. No, what I see, you may not see. Yes, and what I focus on, you may not focus on. So we what I hear, you may not hear. Exactly. Very, very, very common. And what I smell, you may not smoke. Exactly. And we go on and on. But this is very all our senses are very individual to us. Yes, they're very subjective, they are what we are focusing on in the moment, and when we have an overstressed brain, a lot of the time when we're just in survival mode, we may not be able to use our senses to the full. We may but may not be able to see the cherry tree in blossom or notice the the cloud that's got a particular shape, or smell the lovely smell of coffee or whatever we particularly like, because our brain is in that survival mode, and I think that's why little breaks are important, they are so important, and I notice that when I'm particularly stressed, like if I enter a noisy place or with loud music or just a lot of people chatting or a lot of noise, like clatter, clatter of plates or whatever, I can feel very tense and stressed. Whereas when if I just say to myself, if I just take a deep breath and say, Okay, you know, everything's fine, and then just relax, I can actually start enjoying myself. I mean, it's happened to us before when we've gone into like restaurants or coffee shops, and I think, God, this is far too loud. No, or sometimes I can smell like a bleachy smell from the toilets or something, and it really gets on my nerves. Yeah, but I notice that it's because I'm over like over stimulated, my senses are overworked. Yeah, you're like uh you're like looking for trouble. Yes, you're like in that adrenaline, yeah. And then if I relax a bit and I say, okay, I'm just gonna ignore it, I can just ignore everything. Because I look around me and I think others aren't bothered by this. Yes, that's the trick, isn't it? When you look around, you say everybody else seems to be talking normally and enjoying themselves. So perhaps it's something to do with me. Nobody else is like covering their ears and thinking, oh, this is loud. They're just talking and laughing, and and so so what is it? It's me. So this is why it's so individual. What you can see and what you can hear and what you can feel is perceived by how your state of mind is in that particular moment. So if you walk into a room and you're calm inside, then you'll be able to just focus on the good things, you know, nice smells. And if you do smell something you don't particularly like, like what you said about the cleaning products or whatever it is, it just goes into second, it doesn't become prevalent in your mind, you know. It doesn't become it doesn't become like an earworm. You're you're thinking, no, I can't relax. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, yeah. We just we've done that before. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Very, very common. You just settle down and then you think, okay, and then you suddenly forget about it, you start having a nice conversation, say, and then you forget about the smell. So you begin to realise that our brains can delete so much of what we don't need or what we don't particularly want to focus on, or we can focus on other things that uh the the smiling faces around us. It's true, isn't it? You can focus on like everyone else. So absolutely true, and I notice it because when I see that everyone else is fine, I think, okay, it's me. It's me, exactly. There's something going on. I mean, it is true that we are more aware of everything because we're like more in our in the environment because we are therapists and hypnotherapists, so but it is also true that I notice it particularly when I am stressed, that it's worse. Me too, or definitely anxious, yeah, yeah, definitely. When I'm feeling anxious, everything around me, like oh the noise. There's one particular coffee bar that we go to sometimes, and it's loud, and and and there's so many people there, it's like the clunking of the coffee, ta-da-da! There's a massive clink clonk and noise and orders and that. And then when I just manage to calm down, like what you say, all kind of disappears smoothes out, and I can talk and I can uh interact with what I can actually do what I have to do in that place, which I have to go to every now and again. I notice it when I go because I think I can't hear myself talk or think because it's so noisy, yes. But then all the people are not expecting. They're just fine, they're just in a different just just because they're relaxed. Relaxed. Yeah, that's exactly it, because they're relaxed. So what we we have to get to that place of relaxation, you can also do that for yourselves, like at home. If you're if you're beginning to notice that a lot of things are irritating you, and that's when you need that little break. You need to have that small, tiny mindful moment. Mindful, yeah. I was thinking, you know, meditative, but it's not really, it's just a mindful second, really, a moment when you just notice something like what we said in our story that you didn't see yesterday. Looking out of a window and noticing something forces you to focus on a particular detail that will bring your attention to something that's not not what's actually going on around you, and it will force you to go inside into a calmer place. Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I think we all have to do it even more now because we especially when we're on our own, we haven't really got that those mindful moments anymore. Because I mean, I saw a post on Instagram saying, Imagine it's 1994 and you've got no scrolling, no phones, or 1984, I can't remember, but no phones, no scrolling. What would you do in this moment? Gosh, yes. And you'd probably be looking out the window, or like what we used to do when we were waiting for bus, you just look into thin air, you're just looking around, you have to do it. And you just let your mind wander. Or you've got a book with you, or you're just a bus stop, you wouldn't have a book. It's very well, if there's a chair, if there's a bench, you know. There's no benches. Yes, there are. There are benches sometimes. They're not those little people remember. Yeah, you're right, they're full. They were most of the time they were full. It's not a bus stop in the country. Well, no, I mean, I remember where you used to live in the university around that area, but Bristol, there were loads of everybody would read. You just wait for the bus. I had I I don't think on trains and things you'd read. Right, okay. But I would just see people at the bus stop, they would just be looking around or chatting to someone next to them and just like idle, their mind would be idle, they'd just be just like, yeah, you wouldn't have all this constant distraction. Exactly. You would just be able to really just look up and I do remember many moments like that in our childhood. We were lucky, you know, when I just remember walking and to school and noticing the toys. Boring, yes, but sometimes I think our mind needs that kind of boredom. We've often said it's actually healthy to experience moments of not doing, of not seeing, just not doing anything and experiencing that boredom. Do you remember when our children were younger, they would say, Mom, I'm bored. We would always say, Well, that's okay, you know, good. You can find something you already you want to do, or just just be bored for a bit. That's fine, and then the next minute they would be outside. Yeah, building something, or off in the garden looking for they would do something, they would be up to all sorts, but that would be fine. That would be fine. Yeah, exactly. And we as adults we need it too. That's exactly what I was gonna say. It's not just the kids, is it? It's us as well. We need moments of boredom. That's why I'm enjoying golf so much now, because between one shot and another, you're walking and you're in nature, and you you don't have your phone, and you're you're right, yeah, you don't have your phone. You're just calm, and you could you've got time to look at the trees or look at the whatever it is around you. You don't have you don't have the constant distraction in your mind. Your your mind is just focused on you know getting to the next hole and enjoying that. And enjoying the in-between moments. Very true, very true, yeah. Well, I'm just learning now, so it's all over a bit overwhelming. It's difficult. Yeah, it's a bit difficult. I still did see all the beautiful cherry blossoms out now, and I saw loads of daisies on the grass. I thought they looked like little snow petals. It was very beautiful, it's a very beautiful experience. Yeah, it's very meditative, I think. Meditative, not for me at the moment, because I'm focused on, you know, which is a golf club. Club, yeah. I was thinking, what's it called? Stick, which I'm very beginner, yeah, which is the club and the hybrid and all these names and everything. Goodness me. So it's a whole new new learning curve for your brain, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, just learning how to move my body, yeah. Just uh you know, shoulder down and this and that, and how to hold the the club. It's it's new, but I also know that learning something new at any age is really good. Well, it's amazing for your brain, isn't it? For your mind. Exactly. So I'm and doing it your body too, because you're learning all new movements. New muscle members, yeah. I'm hopefully I just different ways that you wouldn't normally do. I'm looking forward to just being able to do it like unconsciously, you know, just being able to get competent out. I mean, I've been doing it for three years now, and I still feel like a learner, but a lot of it has become unconscious. Competence, just hold the goal club. You don't have to think of every single thing. Yeah. At the beginning, you have to think of everything, and that that is like a little break for your mind, though, away from your everyday uh woes and problems, having to focus on something with such attention. Uh I think that's why it's your full focus, doesn't it? Yes, that's why I think that learning something new is also good if you're feeling stressed, and it's a bit of a paradox if you think, no, I'm too busy to learn something new. Exactly. Yeah, I'm too stressed to do that. But then when you do it, you you find that in an odd kind of way, it's relaxing. It's weird, isn't it? It's weird because it will actually take you away from your everyday things that your mind focuses on. Every day it's normally the same kind of things. Well, you've got the same the same worries and the same concerns going through your brain what over and over again, normally. Normally, yes, yes, you do. If you're not living mindfully and in the in the moment, which most of us find very hard to do, and that's what and even we find it hard to do. We find it hard even though we know how to do it, and we've learned how to do it, and we do always bring ourselves back in, well, I do don't you bring yourself back into the present, and if you're especially if you're worried about something, because I mean and it's often what you're concerned about or worried about, it's also something that's gonna happen in the future, and you may be in a lovely place today, you may be you know comfortable and and and and happy today, but you can't fully enjoy it, which is sad because you're concerned about a future thing that may not even happen in the end. Oh, it may happen, it may be different, but it may be different to what you expected it, it may be better than normally it's better than what you expected it. It's not as bad sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's worse, but what can you really do about it? I can't do anything about it, exactly. So, do you want to lose today for something that might not happen or might be worse tomorrow? If you think about it, logically is not logical. It's not logical because you are losing a day in your life that will never ever come back, exactly, and you it may be called a Wednesday or a Monday, but then just because the Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays keep on coming back, that particular Monday will never come back. Like today is a Monday, this will never ever come back for us today. It won't, never ever again, and so you think if you if you're mindful of that and you think this is a day that will never return in my life, and I it's precious, it's precious, yes, but at the same time, it's like oh, I don't want to think about that, you know, because it's it's a big deal to think like that. Well, and do you know why it's a big deal? Because it makes you realise that we're mortal. Yeah, exactly. Like I said, we're not immortal, a big deal because if we stop to think about it, it also makes us think about our own mortality, yeah, and it makes us feel frightened in a way. Frightened, yes. So we want to push it. We want to kind of feel that we're immortal and that every day is a new day, and yes, it is a new day, but there's only so many days that we complete, exactly. And that all these Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays that keep on returning give us an illusion. Imagine if each day had a different name completely from the last, it wasn't the same repetition. One day was called, I don't know, the second was called one. The first day of your life is called Oh my god, that's the second day is called two, or the third day's called three. Of course, everyone I would see you and I would say I'm on day four, and you would be on day I'd be on day two or two because I'm slightly younger than you just by like one year. But I wouldn't say I'm on day two. Yes, because I'm creepy. It's creepy, isn't it? It's not like what day is it today? I mean, there would be no universality to it, it would be very complicated, but each one of us would know our own path. That day, that day one or day two, whatever, it'd probably be day like 60, whatever day is, would never ever return. Well, we could have Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but we could have our own then our own personal calendar, where it's day one, day two, whereas the illusion of years. The you no, not year, not so much years, it's the the weekdays that have the same name. I think that gives us a kind of a weird illusion. It does. Because the the time when it when when the new year comes and the end of the year approaches, we all have this like n slight nostalgia, slight, oh okay, and excitement for the new year, but also we realise a year has passed, like what happens with our birthdays. Whereas when it's just the dredging, the daily Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, that kind of fools us slightly. Even though there is a number, so it's the ninth, is the tenth, there is a kind of an illusion that appears there. Because the month starts again, doesn't it? One, two, three again. Exactly. The month starts again, it's a Monday, it's a Tuesday again, it's a Wednesday, and that kind of does bring that full sense of um immortality, a bit like what you were saying, yeah. And the and the reasoning is that we're not we are uh uh mortal and we will we do have a time length, a certain time that we know will end one day. We don't want to think about it, we don't want to think about it. But nobody does want to think about it. It's like too overwhelming to think about it. It is far too overwhelming for us. That's why we like to we like to have familiarity in the everyday, so whether it's good for me, like if we're living really happily and uh and beautifully, but also if we're really stressed out and anxious, but we're used to that thing, so we clench on to what we're used to. That's an interesting point, it is so true. We hold on to that, we hold on to whatever is our comfort zone, right? And if our comfort zone is stress and panic every day and blah blah blah. Unfortunately, we'll hold on to that too, because that is what is familiar, that is what our brain knows, and that is what in a strange way can provide us comfort. That's why so many people, when they're in abusive relationships, will stick to that and not want to go on to the scary new thing, which is change. But you have to have that courage and I think that sense of mortality within you to realize that you need to make that change. Exactly. You need to break, and only when you have that sense of mortality do you kind of think, hey, you know, this is just a wake up call. It's a wake-up call, yeah. It's like an emergency button that goes off within you. So I'm not saying that you need to have that every day because it's lovely to just live in this strange illusion. You do need to take little breaks throughout your day to make you realise who this is a special day. You cannot, you don't have to think of the um well, I mean, you can if if that's helpful. A lot of people find it helpful to think that today is unique and it will never return today. You live, you live fully today, and you think I'm here today and I want to enjoy it fully. Yeah, yeah, and even if you've got something nasty to do that day, but you think the day is long and it extends. A day, and I'm gonna have a little break where I have a nice thing I'm thinking about. And that nice thing. We've always said that. You know, we've I realize that you know, when our parents were ill, I've always thought even if we have to take our father, he was doing chemio at the time, we have to take him to chemio. Let's let's do something that's even on the way there was something that would give us a little bit of joy, and him, you know, all of us, you know, some joy. So one thing that would not be just that and return. So we would stop for a cappuccino, our favourite coffee bar. I mean, that's not much, but it's enough. Exactly. It was that tiny little thing that would make not just the the final, because um you think, and and also when we realized that you know there was no point crying before the actual event, because that was we were grieving so much when we first learned about our father's diagnosis, that it kind of in the end, it took it took a while, didn't it, for him to actually pass away. And we I realized it as well. It took like four years, and we were thinking we have young children and we're like wasting this time. Yes, we're like crying now, crying now and because he was ill, but it's it's like almost like wasting because we're wasting these beautiful years with our children as well, where we could be having so much joy, exactly, but we were so sad, we were so sad, yeah, because we were quite young at the time, and it was sad. However, it's also because we didn't have the resources that we have now. That's why we started studying all about hypnosis and neurolinguistic programming and therapy, and you're absolutely right. Yeah, exactly. Yes, because it's difficult because life is never normally for most of us, it's never perfect, it's never everything going right. You can have one day when it's just like all perfection, you know, the sun is shining, and everything seems to be going fine, but then there's always going to be those ups and downs because that's just life, that's just humans living their life, and that's a lovely part of it as well. So being able to understand that, I think, really did change how we lived our final put it into perspective. Yeah, we were able to, yes, of course, when you first hear about a diagnosis and a serious one, it's terrifying and it's scary, and you grieve, and you give yourself the time to grieve, but then you have to you have to live on, you live on and enjoy your life, and and I remember just saying that to you as well. I remember saying we have to enjoy our lives too. These are these are days going by, and our children's days, and our children's day, and they see us always crying and just listening in. Oh no, the next nasty thing that's going on, you know, and it's just it's overwhelming, but at the same time, it was a great lesson and a great feedback that we learned for our future lives because then when when our mother passed as well, we learned that we knew that, and I remember thinking, okay, I will grieve deeply when the moment arrives. You know, when the No, I'm thinking we didn't. I mean, we kind of grieved because she had a series of strokes and she was like there, but not there, but we kind of grieved along the way, but I always remember because our mum wanted us to go on holiday when we did, yeah, she did. So we went on holiday and we had a good time. We did have a joke in her honour, in yes, we did. We she said, I want it to be a uh a party. Yes, I want you to to have a fiesta to enjoy yourselves, to laugh, and to she she really did she set us up for so much ever since we were little, she would always I think she was always afraid she might die, that's why. Because she she when she was older. Oh, yeah, she had me when she was 42 years old and menopause and some with men with menopause when you you can't have like like HRT or yeah, she she I think she experienced anxiety that she was anxious and she felt like she might die. Probably so she always used to say, Never, I don't want you to think of me like that. I always want you to have happy memories, I always want you to go on holiday when I die. Yeah, always this go on holiday thing, and I thought, oh what it didn't really click when you're when you're little, you think go on holiday? That's weird, you know. But then when she did die, oh my goodness, we went on holiday. We caught the chance suggestion, and we just said no, we have to go on holiday. Yeah, we went to Barbados, we did, and we were just so like elated, yeah. We were all so happy. Our husbands were thinking, Why are you so happy? I mean, you literally just buried your mother, and then I remember thinking, of course, we've had this suggestion, almost like a hypnotic suggestion by our mother ever since we were like 10. You will enjoy yourselves, you will go on a holiday. I mean, come on. We were like totally we arrived, we just said, no, we have to go on a holiday. Mum left us a certain amount of money, wasn't much, but it was enough, and we went off, we used that money to to to fly to a beautiful place, and we had a wonderful time. We did, and it was amazing, and but this coming back to those little breaks that we all need, I think they are an essential part of our everyday, and I think if we can manage to do that and think perhaps about a little bit about our mortality, and also just about enjoying the moment and noticing something that we particularly enjoy, and it it can become a natural part of how you are. You can just do this without even realizing you're doing it. I just do it naturally every day. I I might just a moment before I wake up thinking, God, I love this cushion, you know. Oh, it's so soft. And I realise I am uh experiencing things in a particularly intense way, and that is bringing me back to the moment. To the now, to the now, yes. And you can learn to do that too. You can. So we'd love it if you can message us or write us a comment on YouTube or message us on your favourite app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to the podcast. We'd love hearing from you and let us know if you're taking more little breaks throughout your day. We certainly hope so. We certainly hope so because they're very useful. Lots of love and smash from the English sisters. Bye.